re: Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence full review (super long and spoiler-laden)

While the Pede is "working," he is crazy happy and enjoying it. He even fricks the chick at the end of the Pede at one point. Okay, so while all this is going on, the pregnant woman actually isn't dead. So she wakes up and runs outside. While she's in labor. She gets into a car, births the baby onto the floorboard, the baby falls between the floor and the gas pedal, and she crushes the baby's head as she floors the gas to get the frick out of there. That was a fricking interesting scene to say the least. While that's going on and Martin is freaking the frick out, the Pede splits in half...upstairs headbanger neighbor dude rips his mouth off of the arse in front of him. So now there are two Pedes, and Martin is happy. Or sad. Or angry..I can't really tell. So he starts shooting one half, killing everyone connected to it. While that's happening, the actress throws his terrarium at him (he brought his pet pede there for some reason) and it breaks and the pede gets loose. Then he moves to the front half, and starts slicing throats. He kills all but the actress, saving her for last. As he approaches her, she punches him in the nuts, takes the funnel that he fed her with earlier, shoves it up Martin's arse, and then throws his centipede into the funnel, causing him great pain (or pleasure...again, I can't tell). So he stabs her in the face and walks out. Then we see him back in his little office watching the end credits of the first movie again. Reading the plot synopsis on Wiki says that you're left to decide if it really happened or if he was imagining it. FWIW, I do think it happened, because at the end, we still hear the baby crying, which I assume to be the baby in the car that I previously mentioned...so I assumed that crying was to show the audience that he is still in the car (sans parents). But at that point, it really doesn't matter. You're just mad that you actually watched the whole thing.

All in all, this movie is COMPLETELY over the top in gore and ridiculousness. Oh yeah, and the whole thing is in black and white. Everything in the movie is ridiculous and unbelievable. Everything. It's one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever watched. At no point in its rambling, incoherent plot was it even close to anything that could be considered a decent film. I now feel dumber for having watched it. I award this movie no points, and may God have mercy on its soul.

Other questions you might have...

- Are there any redeeming qualities to this film?
-- None. The only thing is making you feel like you need a shower immediately afterwards.

- You were kidding about the dialogue, right?
-- Sadly, no.

- Is there nudity?
-- Yes, but not in a really good way. There is some boobage, but it's kidnapped Pede girls. Oh, and there is man-arse as well. Oh yeah, and Martin's dick. Yay.

- Just how gory is it?
-- Gratuitous doesn't even begin to cover it. It's exceptionally and intentionally ridiculously gory. And the fact that it's in black and white doesn't help.

- Be honest, you're making some of this up, aren't you?
-- I wish I were. And I like "fricked up" movies and shite like that...but this one is just plain fricked up and fricking stupid. I honestly imagine this movie is about as pointless and fricked in the head as Eraserhead (though I've never seen that one).

I'll answer any other questions you may have.