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Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:17 am
Posted by danger14
St George, LA
Member since Mar 2007
289 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:17 am
Thought yall might like this post from a realistic oregon fan. Dont care if german.




Well, saw something over at EDSBS about the apocalyptic pale horse and felt inspired. Being a student of the Bible, I scratched this out in about ten minutes for my brother. He thought it might be good to post it. This was my way of working through my pain of last night's misery.

Go Ducks!

I still believe.



Fowl Chronicles 9:27-40

And behold, before me I saw a pale horse. And on its back rode a man clothed in fine purple and gold. And in his left hand he carried two scales.

And behind the horse and rider were a great army of men. All of them exceedingly large, wearing armor, prepared for a great battle, and adorned in purple and gold.

And behold, the rider of the pale horse shone like that of Les Miles. And I saw writing on his robe and pants. On his left leg were the words, "Defense Wins Games". And on his right leg were the words "Special Teams Wins Championships". And he forbade me to write down that which was written across his chest.

And then with a mighty thunder, the man on the horse and his mighty army stopped in front of me. And he said unto me, "Do you know why I have come?" I said, "Yes, sir. I do." He said, "Tell me." And I trembled, "You have come to judge the Pac-12."

And he said, "And what did I find?" I told him I could not say it. So he said, "I have weighed them, and found them wanting." At this, I began to weep.

Then the rider on the pale horse and all his army turned away to whence they came. And I began to cry, and lo, I shouted for him on the horse to stop. And at his command the whole mighty army stopped. I ran to him and begged, "Please, at least let me look upon it. For it may be my only chance. Have mercy." And with a nod, a mighty entourage came forward carrying a golden vault. And it was opened for me to see. And behold, I saw the crystal football. And underneath it were written the words "The National Champion--Louisiana State University--2007". With this, I again began to weep.

And as they departed, the rider on the horse asked me one more question. He said, "Knowest thou why some call me the Mad Hatter?" I said, "Yes, sir. I believe I do." And he said, "Me neither."

And with that, the pale horse, his rider and army left me. And the valley floor shook until they were out of sight, going back to a land where much greater battles are fought.

Posted by mhsdeuce07
Member since Dec 2006
8238 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:21 am to
I don't know whether to laugh or leave
Posted by Pepe Lepew
Looney tuned .....
Member since Oct 2008
36457 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:21 am to
Posted by Champagne
Already Conquered USA.
Member since Oct 2007
49426 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:21 am to
Pure gold !!! Best thing I've read in a while, including porn.

Posted by NC_Tigah
Member since Sep 2003
125482 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:22 am to
Posted by Wolf Shirt
the boardwalk
Member since Sep 2008
10637 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:23 am to
Genius
Posted by DaStain
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2007
2120 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:24 am to
Posted by Ole Geauxt
KnowLa.
Member since Dec 2007
50880 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:24 am to
He's pretty good.. I think,,, maybe..
Posted by mytigger
Member since Jan 2008
14930 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:24 am to
quote:

He said, "Knowest thou why some call me the Mad Hatter?" I said, "Yes, sir. I believe I do." And he said, "Me neither."


Posted by GeauxTigers580307
Atlanta
Member since Sep 2009
582 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:26 am to
Converted UO to LSU fan.
Posted by Swampcat
Member since Dec 2003
10739 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:28 am to
That is the best ever single post I have ever read on the Rant!!!!!!! You sir are magnificent....
Posted by Swampcat
Member since Dec 2003
10739 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:29 am to
Bump......
Posted by HideChaKidz
Member since Oct 2010
7372 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:30 am to
Posted by TheDoc
doc is no more
Member since Dec 2005
99297 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:33 am to
quote:

"You have come to judge the Pac-12."



Posted by CITWTT
baton rouge
Member since Sep 2005
31765 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:36 am to
The man gets an A++ for some damn good prose and creative writing skills.
This post was edited on 9/5/11 at 10:37 am
Posted by stapuffmarshy
lower 9
Member since Apr 2010
17507 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:39 am to
I am laughing and crying at the same time
Posted by TigersOfGeauxld
Just across the water...
Member since Aug 2009
25057 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:42 am to
quote:

"Knowest thou why some call me the Mad Hatter?" I said, "Yes, sir. I believe I do." And he said, "Me neither."


Sig worthy...

Posted by Option2theShortSide
Nola
Member since Nov 2009
291 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:43 am to
quote:

And as they departed, the rider on the horse asked me one more question. He said, "Knowest thou why some call me the Mad Hatter?" I said, "Yes, sir. I believe I do." And he said, "Me neither."


Absolutely Hilarious!!!!
Posted by OTIS2
NoLA
Member since Jul 2008
50581 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:45 am to
Posted by STUGOTS
Madisonville
Member since Dec 2008
624 posts
Posted on 9/5/11 at 10:52 am to
fricking classic
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