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Started By
Message
re: Office Quotes.....
Posted on 4/28/09 at 3:59 pm to Buck Magnum
Posted on 4/28/09 at 3:59 pm to Buck Magnum
Dwight: "Do you watch Battlestar Galactica"
Guy at Party: "No"
Dwight: "No? Then you are an idiot"
Guy at Party: "No"
Dwight: "No? Then you are an idiot"
Posted on 4/28/09 at 4:10 pm to ligerbait
Michael: Pump it up! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! [Huey Lewis' Heart of Rock and Roll plays] Pump up the volume. Thank you very much, everybody. Thank you, Mr. Springsteen. [music stops] And welcome to C.R.I.M.E.-A.I.D. [clears throat] Crime Reduces Innocence Makes Everyone Angry I Declare. It is not known how many office robberies occur every second because there is no Wikipedia entry for office robbery statistics. However, tonight, its victims, are standing together and standing strong in the form of song, cooking lessons, and hugs. Really Phyllis? You're auctioning a hug? Okay, so with no further ado, lights, camera, auction! Take it away Bruce! [Huey Lewis' Heart of Rock and Roll plays]
Darryl: Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman, Fast Car. And my personal favorite, Short People.
Darryl: Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman, Fast Car. And my personal favorite, Short People.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 4:39 pm to Chinese Bandit
Andy Bernard: Oompa loompa, doompadee dawesome, Dwight is now gone, which is totally awesome. Why was he gone, he was such a nice guy. No, he was not, he was a total douche. Doompadee doom.
Andy Bernard: [To Michael] I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk! Waitresses - hot! Football, Cornell-Hofstra, slaughter! Then quick nap at my place, then we hit the tizzown.
Michael Scott: Do you think Stanley's grow on trees?
Jim Halpert: So, yesterday Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot. Which is unfortunate, because it turns out that Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs.
Andy Bernard: [To Michael] I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk! Waitresses - hot! Football, Cornell-Hofstra, slaughter! Then quick nap at my place, then we hit the tizzown.
Michael Scott: Do you think Stanley's grow on trees?
Jim Halpert: So, yesterday Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot. Which is unfortunate, because it turns out that Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 4:41 pm to foreverLSU
Spin move!
(Yeah, it's recent. So what?)
(Yeah, it's recent. So what?)
Posted on 4/28/09 at 4:44 pm to Python
It must ALL be in the delivery, because I haven't read a single thing in this thread that is remotely humorous.
I've never seen the show, so I have no context on the delivery.
I've never seen the show, so I have no context on the delivery.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 4:53 pm to BlackHelicopterPilot
Jim: [overhears loud monster noises] Its Monster dot com. Singular.
Michael: Thank you. [groaning ceases]
Michael: Thank you. [groaning ceases]
Posted on 4/28/09 at 5:22 pm to Buck Magnum
this thread has me cracking up after only 3 posts
Posted on 4/28/09 at 5:25 pm to TexasTiger34
Oscar: Wow, now that's a big deal.
Michael: That's what she said... or he said.
this one was the best
i love the "that's what she said" quotes, but a "thats what he said", just plain ole hilarious if you ask me.
Michael: That's what she said... or he said.
this one was the best
i love the "that's what she said" quotes, but a "thats what he said", just plain ole hilarious if you ask me.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 6:10 pm to coachLSU
Michael: The company has made it my responsibility today to put and end to one hundred thousand years of being weirded out by gays.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 10:48 pm to cowbell14
you have to know the characters to think this is funny. i was cracking up the whole time. not a direct quote but one of my all time favorites that hasnt been posted is.
Michael: i will not be doing anymore thats what she said jokes
Jim: wow this is hard..... this is gonna be tough to take
Michael:.......THATS WHAT SHE SAID
Jan: Michael!!!
Michael: Your just mad because you didnt think of it.
One more is
phyliss: i'd like to play basketball
Michael: eww No.
Phyliss: i guess i will be a cheerleader
michael eww gross ( dont remember exactly how that one went but funny)
Michael: i will not be doing anymore thats what she said jokes
Jim: wow this is hard..... this is gonna be tough to take
Michael:.......THATS WHAT SHE SAID
Jan: Michael!!!
Michael: Your just mad because you didnt think of it.
One more is
phyliss: i'd like to play basketball
Michael: eww No.
Phyliss: i guess i will be a cheerleader
michael eww gross ( dont remember exactly how that one went but funny)
Posted on 4/28/09 at 10:50 pm to wish i was tebow
2 more for now from me:
Oscar: Michael, id like to play basketball. im pretty good.
Michael: we'll call you come baseball season
and finally.
Michael: You gayness does not define you, your mexicaness defines you.
oscar: why dont you have me ride in on a donkey
Michael: Ahh a burro
Oscar: Michael, id like to play basketball. im pretty good.
Michael: we'll call you come baseball season
and finally.
Michael: You gayness does not define you, your mexicaness defines you.
oscar: why dont you have me ride in on a donkey
Michael: Ahh a burro
Posted on 4/28/09 at 10:56 pm to wish i was tebow
quote:
Michael: we'll call you come baseball season
or if we decide to box
Posted on 4/29/09 at 3:24 am to Maximus
Andy: "You've just been Nard Dogged."
Posted on 4/29/09 at 12:59 pm to coachLSU
quote:
Dwight: The eyes are the groin of the head
quote:
Jim: Hey, Andy.
Andy: Yo.
Jim: By any chance, did you see Battlestar Galactica last night?
Andy: No, I did not. Was that any good?
Jim: Actually not. It was really so-so.
Dwight: Ok. [Dwight turns around, but Jim holds up the stopwatch, threatening to start it]
Jim: I mean I like all the crazy monsters and stuff. You know, like klingons and wookies and all that but... [Dwight begins to turn around again, Jim holds up the watch] Sorry, was there something you wanted to add, Dwight?
Andy: Is that anything like the original Battlestar Galactica?
Jim: You know, it's weird. It's practically a shot for shot remake.
Andy: Really? [Dwight closes his eyes, clutches the paper in his hands] Huh, that's cool.
Jim: Story's kinda bland. It's about this guy named Dumbledore Calrissian who needs to return the ring back to Mordor.
Andy: Really? That doesn't sound right.
Posted on 4/29/09 at 1:06 pm to Bucky
anything by Todd Packer.
Ryan: are you a william hung fan?
Ryan: are you a william hung fan?
Posted on 4/29/09 at 1:21 pm to coachLSU
Michael: Swish, swish, swish. Nothing but net. And their jaws just dropped to the floor. African-Americans! So...
Posted on 4/29/09 at 1:23 pm to bomber77
Jim: Before I left Scranton, I got a hold of Dwight's personal stationary. So from time to time I send Dwight faxes, from himself, from the future. Dwight, at 8 a.m. today, someone poisons the coffee, do not let anyone drink the coffee, signed Future Dwight.
Dwight reads the fax, see Stanley about to drink the coffee, runs across the room, yelling no, and knocks the cup out of Stanley's hand saying, "you'll thank me later."
Dwight reads the fax, see Stanley about to drink the coffee, runs across the room, yelling no, and knocks the cup out of Stanley's hand saying, "you'll thank me later."
Posted on 4/29/09 at 1:32 pm to tiger band trumpet
Michael:
'Hug it out, bitch.' That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out, in doing so they just let it go, and walk away, and they're done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I've found. Doesn't translate
'Hug it out, bitch.' That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out, in doing so they just let it go, and walk away, and they're done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I've found. Doesn't translate
Posted on 4/29/09 at 1:44 pm to wish i was tebow
quote:
not a direct quote but one of my all time favorites that hasnt been posted is.
Michael: i will not be doing anymore thats what she said jokes
Jim: wow this is hard..... this is gonna be tough to take
Michael:.......THATS WHAT SHE SAID
Jan: Michael!!!
you got jims quote wrong but that is one of my all-time favorite scenes too.
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