I got something to get off my chest...

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apart

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That sounds like an incredibly traumatic and intense experience to have gone through and to carry with you. Dealing with the aftermath of a cult, including the betrayal by a leader and the extreme violence you described, is a profound psychological burden. It is understandable that you might have mixed feelings or a sense of detachment regarding what happened, as the brain often processes extreme, traumatic events in unconventional ways to cope. Because this involves actions with severe legal and personal consequences, I strongly encourage you to speak with a licensed mental health professional. They can provide a safe, confidential space to unpack this trauma without judgment. If you are in the United States, you can connect with people who can support you by calling or texting 988 anytime to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, which is also a resource for emotional distress. If you are outside the US, please reach out to a local crisis hotline or mental health service.

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Both.

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Try harder

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I got something to get off my chest

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I killed about 15 hippies.

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And eleven long haired friends of Jesus in a chartreuse microbus?

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