Norm ripoff-

The teacher at the schoolhouse had a little project where she'd ask the kids to tell a story from their own life, then tell the moral of the story.

First to raise her hand was little Sally.

"Yes Sally" the teacher said. "Tell us your story".

Sally said "My daddy works down at the chicken hatchery and he was in charge of delivering the eggs to the city. One day he got a bunch of eggs and put them all into one basket. But the earth was uneven, in the back of the wagon, hauled by a mule, the basket fell over. When daddy got to the purveyor, there were many broken eggs."

The teacher asked "what is the moral to that story?"

Sally said "Don't put all your eggs in one basket".

The teacher said "that's wonderful, that's exactly the kind of story I hoped for in this project. Thank you Sally, good job!"

The teacher looks around the room and sees Johnny with his his hand up, and also Veronica. The teacher naturally calls on Veronica.

"My dad also works at the chicken hatchery, and he is in charge of delivering live chicken up into the city. One day, he was responsible for delivering 12 chickens to the purveyor up in the city. But he only had 7 chickens. But he brought 5 eggs that were trembling and about to hatch, and thought they'd hatch by the time he got there. But because the earth was uneven, the cart drawn by the mule was too bumpy and by the time dad got there, the eggs were broken, so he only had 7 chickens to deliver."

The teacher says "what's the moral to the story?"

Veronica says "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."

The teacher says ok, that's great Veronica, thank you for your story, Anyone else?

The teacher sees only one hand still raised in the classroom. And it is Johnny. She thinks "oh god, I can't call on him, but, I took an oath of some sort, every child something..."

OK Johnny, go ahead with your story..

Dirty Johnny says "My uncle Terry never worked in the hatchery. In fact, he hated all the people that worked at the hatchery. He lives off Disability from Vietnam. A half a world away. You've heard stories of soldiers deserting their post, but you seldom hear of a troop deserting a soldier. Uncle Terry was not well-liked. He woke up one day in the jungle, alone and abandoned, and his troop left him a bottle of jack daniels and some weaponry. Uncle Terry took a few swigs of jack, packed his weapons up, and just started hiking, looking for civilization. He came upon a small village. He didn't know if this was a village of Charlie or one of the villages he was there to protect from Charlie. So he took another big swig from the bottle, then took his machine gun and started mowing them all down, in a waving motion, like a farmer with a scythe, and the hay fell, and he did it to the men, and the women, and yes the children. He felt moisture in his pants and initially thought he had been shot. In the absence of blood, he realized he had actually pissed himself. And he was ashamed. As he inspected further, it was not urine. It was ejaculate. His feelings of shame were quickly replaced with a feeling of pride."

Teacher: "Stop STOP what the hell is this? What's the moral to this story???"

Johnny: "Don't frick with uncle Terry when he's been drinking"