quote:
Last year my pissant cousin decided family Thanksgiving was the perfect time to let his preacher dad know he had been doing meth. Whatever happens this year it can't be that bad.

toddzilla

quote:
My five year old niece from my crackhead sister in law is about to get a tranquilizer dart in the neck. Other than that, no one is drinking yet, so no fireworks as of now.

ETA: Mrs. Zilla is hitting the wine due to said niece and her Mee Maw calling her fat...

UPDATE: Crackhead Sister in Law is here. Wife is ready to kick her arse. Place your bets...

Rhino5

quote:
Got food poisoning last night at approximately 1am and unleashed an ungodly hell on the toilet. Gastrointestinal Armageddon is appropriate. Slept on the bathroom floor and I'm sore as shite. Currently being dealt the leper treatment, sitting outside by myself with a fricking piece of bread. Really sucks seeing all that awesome food and not having the guts to eat it. So long as I'm good for the iron bowl. Happy thanksgiving.

porkrind

quote:
Last year my nephew strolls in and starts calling his much larger/stronger brother a leach for still living in his dads guest house. When the brother finally got pissed off and went after him he yanked out a gun and said "HE WENT FOR MY GUN'.

That loud mouth pussy is not invited this year.

Jon Ham

quote:
Went for drinks with my wife and her parents last night. Somehow my wife and her mom started talking about how women have it harder than men or some shite. It pissed me off so I reminded them they should be thankful we gave them the right to vote but don’t thank me because it wasn’t me who did it as I would never have voted for it. I tried to say it as a joke but a joke never happened and it was just me basically telling them to STFU. Good times.

OlGrandad

quote:
While I was getting dressed, wife starts yelling in the kitchen. I go in and the Weimaraner is going through the doggy door.

He had jumped on the counter and was eating the turkey when she walked in.

I am under orders to keep quiet when the company arrives.
This will be known as the "turkey" incident of 2018.

This post was edited on 11/20/23 at 10:02 am

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Posted by pioneerbasketball

Team Bunchie

Member since Oct 2005

132819 posts

Posted on 11/20/23 at 10:01 am to pioneerbasketball

Hawgnsincebirth55

quote:
Reminds me of how the most trashy part of my family, 3 sisters 2 of which had 4 children out of wedlock (each one had the first one in high school), they smoke, drink excessively have trashy tattoos and none of them have a decent job. It was a milestone last year when one of them graduated nursing school. Well these are the same 3 that will shout out things such as "it's time to say fricking grace!" Or after someone finishes praying, "Hell yeah dig in!". They are loud and obnoxious too. Also their idea of great is chanting and I quote, "God is good, God is great let us thank him for our food, amen." Like they are frickinh children!! God I hate that part of my family.

VolInBavaria

quote:
It's me and my GF's first Thanksgiving together. She's on her period and has been in a god awful mood all damn day. We were an hour late to her families dinner because she couldn't get her makeup to look right. I don't drink but I may start

rich4pres

quote:
My wife's sister is mad at my wife. My wife is crying. My son refuses to take a nap. And I am an arse for going to rake the leaves. And it is only Wednesday.

rich4pres

quote:
Well, part one at my side of the family is done. Here is how the conversation went with me and my uncle.
Uncle: "I can tell money has been good for you. You have gotten fat."
Me: "Oh, how you doin? So, are you still cheating on your wife? "
That was it. We stayed an hour.

quote:
Whelp, kicked an in-law out of my house alreadyPosted by TDsngumbo ? ? on 11/28/19 at 3:18 pm

She verbally attacked my wife in MY house. It’s one thing to do that in general but don’t come into my house and do it. I feel bad that things escalated the way they did but my wife is my queen. Hopefully we amend things soon.

Happy Thanksgiving, fellas.

thekid

quote:
Had my wife’s cousins invite themselves over for thanksgiving because they just got back from Bali and they are too tired to cook. Couple with a 6 and 10 yr who are the worst two kids I’ve ever dealt with. I literally hate the 6 year old boy. His parents never correct him and he is such a little a-hole. I truly believe he will become a serial killer...I told the wife we should start using his middle name to give him a head start.

This post was edited on 11/20/23 at 10:03 am

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Posted by LegendInMyMind

Member since Apr 2019

55448 posts

Posted on 11/20/23 at 10:03 am to pioneerbasketball

Just posting to get in in the first page.

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Posted by b-rab2

N. Louisiana

Member since Dec 2005

12581 posts

Posted on 11/20/23 at 10:15 am to pioneerbasketball

I am so thankful that I don't have these issues with family holidays. I actually look forward to getting together with all of our families. It's always a good time.

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Posted by TJack

Member since Dec 2018

1475 posts

Posted on 11/20/23 at 10:40 am to pioneerbasketball

If this thread ain’t a tradition, then it should be!

This post was edited on 11/20/23 at 6:44 pm

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Posted by Dixie2023

Member since Mar 2023

1683 posts

Posted on 11/20/23 at 11:53 am to pioneerbasketball

What they don’t know don’t hurt. Slice it up and serve.

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Posted by evil cockroach

27.98N // 86.92E

Member since Nov 2007

7559 posts

Posted on 11/23/23 at 8:40 pm to pioneerbasketball

Brother in law said they were moving to California. I was like “congrats” , cause he’s a bit lazy and wants that sweet California government job. I thought this was a good thing, for him at least. Wife starts crying. I’m a terrible person. “They are leaving forever. Blah blah blah.” frick, I’m in dog house.

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