This dynamic only works if the feeling is reciprocated. Marriage isn’t a one way street of resource demand and any man or woman that allows it to get to such is headed down a path to an unfulfilled marriage, relationship, and life.

You asked me to extend to you the same courtesy of considering you a good man. I never said you were evil; never said to us were bad. I said your view that women should be silent, feed you, and frick you is wrong. A true, meaningful relationship isn’t simply about your base needs of food and sex. It also isn’t about one person having to constantly be the emotional crutch, day after day, year after year, for every little problem or inconvenience one has.

I hope I never am forced to have the same worldview you have and I am actively working on this in my current marriage. I’ve had too many older peers get divorced, too many posts on this website, too many anecdotal stories from random posters on the internet for me to think it’s not possible. I know it’s possible. I know it’s a decent to good chance of it to turn into that. Because of how common it seems to be, I will do everything in my power to make sure my relationship is not one of base needs being provided for but rather deeper fulfillment.

As I said earlier, I’m not perfect, my marriage and life are not perfect, but I’m not going to let perfect make me unappreciative of really damn good.

This post was edited on 8/7/23 at 1:47 pm

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Posted by Sam Quint

Member since Sep 2022

4913 posts

Posted on 8/7/23 at 1:50 pm to Oilfieldbiology

quote:
This dynamic only works if the feeling is reciprocated. Marriage isn’t a one way street of resource demand and any man or woman that allows it to get to such is headed down a path to an unfulfilled marriage, relationship, and life. You asked me to extend to you the same courtesy of considering you a good man. I never said you were evil; never said to us were bad. I said your view that women should be silent, feed you, and frick you is wrong. A true, meaningful relationship isn’t simply about your base needs of food and sex. It also isn’t about one person having to constantly be the emotional crutch, day after day, year after year, for every little problem or inconvenience one has. I hope I never am forced to have the same worldview you have and I am actively working on this in my current marriage. I’ve had too many older peers get divorced, too many posts on this website, too many anecdotal stories from random posters on the internet for me to think it’s not possible. I know it’s possible. I know it’s a decent to good chance of it to turn into that. Because of how common it seems to be, I will do everything in my power to make sure my relationship is not one of base needs being provided for but rather deeper fulfillment. As I said earlier, I’m not perfect, my marriage and life are not perfect, but I’m not going to let perfect make me unappreciative of really damn good.

oh, my sweet blue pilled summer child.

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Posted by SlowFlowPro

Simple Solutions to Complex Probs

Member since Jan 2004

425601 posts

Posted on 8/7/23 at 1:55 pm to Oilfieldbiology

quote:
I hope I never am forced to have the same worldview you have and I am actively working on this in my current marriage. I’ve had too many older peers get divorced, too many posts on this website, too many anecdotal stories from random posters on the internet for me to think it’s not possible. I know it’s possible. I know it’s a decent to good chance of it to turn into that. Because of how common it seems to be, I will do everything in my power to make sure my relationship is not one of base needs being provided for but rather deeper fulfillment.

As I said earlier, I’m not perfect, my marriage and life are not perfect, but I’m not going to let perfect make me unappreciative of really damn good.

Never fall into the crab in a bucket mentality.

The irony of people posting about social media and ignoring the same psychological dimensions involved in cynical CIABM is hilarious. Especially if they're reinforcing this pathology with the same dopamine-based attention-seeking via online resources.

These dudes just take it personally and then get too used to the above-referenced dopamine responses. It is sad. Like people falling into MLMs or conspiracy theories.

Life is a series of decision making. Even with perfectly optimal DM, you aren't guaranteed success. To use a poker term, 1-outers happen, sometimes in the biggest pots. That doesn't mean that some force in the universe caused that direct suffering. The guys who fall into this mindset cannot accept that and personalize everything b/c they are narcissists themselves. That's why you see the pathologies they project (like the feed me/frick me and shut up stuff you're referencing) in this state so strongly.

THEY were violated
THEY were chosen for this violation by some source
THEY are so important that it's inconceivable that they've been inconvenienced
THEY have stories so special you must listen to them

etc. etc.

Selfish, fatalistic narcissism reinforced by social media. This version of TRP is the duck lips of relationship advice.

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Posted by Lsupimp

Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake

Member since Nov 2003

79325 posts

Posted on 8/7/23 at 1:57 pm to Oilfieldbiology

quote:
I hope

It's certainly more comforting to have hope than to confront our true nature as men and women. Staying within the matrix provides unlimited hope. It's a place of princes and princesses where ladies walk across mud puddles on men's coats. There is hope for miles, served with endless platitudes and attaboys. That's what your 20 and 30's is. Paying homage to our cultural default setting; Happy Wife Happy Life. Confronting reality-who we actually are-what our actual motivations and proclivities are-how our TRUE interests diverge-now that-is ugly business. Trust me, I preferred the comforting lies too. It's safe there and you get nearly universal cultural approval. It allows you to feel noble and elevated. You haven't been bludgeoned by reality yet. Enjoy it.

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