re: Soft White Underbelly- A Divorce Attorney’s Thoughts on Love and Marriage

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The "Happy Wife Happy Life" crown learns the hardest. But also the best.

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This dynamic only works if the feeling is reciprocated. Marriage isn’t a one way street of resource demand and any man or woman that allows it to get to such is headed down a path to an unfulfilled marriage, relationship, and life.

You asked me to extend to you the same courtesy of considering you a good man. I never said you were evil; never said to us were bad. I said your view that women should be silent, feed you, and frick you is wrong. A true, meaningful relationship isn’t simply about your base needs of food and sex. It also isn’t about one person having to constantly be the emotional crutch, day after day, year after year, for every little problem or inconvenience one has.

I hope I never am forced to have the same worldview you have and I am actively working on this in my current marriage. I’ve had too many older peers get divorced, too many posts on this website, too many anecdotal stories from random posters on the internet for me to think it’s not possible. I know it’s possible. I know it’s a decent to good chance of it to turn into that. Because of how common it seems to be, I will do everything in my power to make sure my relationship is not one of base needs being provided for but rather deeper fulfillment.

As I said earlier, I’m not perfect, my marriage and life are not perfect, but I’m not going to let perfect make me unappreciative of really damn good.