re: Pondering Life With My Situation

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I would admit both of these are true. Like I'm hopeless and unnecessary. That outside of immediate family and maybe a few close friends my loss wouldn't cause very much grief.

And I know it's a lie that my mind has convinced myself of. I know I get too stuck in my own mind.

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It is a good thing that you recognize this. When I went through clinical depression some 30 years ago, I could not recognize this concept. It took a few drug trials and work with a psychiatrist to get through it. But I have not been on an anti-depressant and have not seen a shrink since 1997. I am so thankful that I did not act on some of my thoughts from back then. I got better and you can too - indeed, I think you have a leg up on where I was. Cut yourself a break, take simple easy steps at first, and get some help - either with a therapist or the books that have been suggested in this thread.

I'm praying and pulling for you and a lot of others are, too. God Bless.