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Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship
Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:39 pm
Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:39 pm
***Satire alert***
The Babylon Bee does a great job of poking fun at our modern day foibles and excesses.
the babylon bee
The Babylon Bee does a great job of poking fun at our modern day foibles and excesses.
quote:
AUBURN, CA—Local 36-year-old man Nate Ripley, who identifies as a six-year-old, “absolutely crushed” a game-winning homer at a local tee-ball game and won the championship for his team Monday evening, reports confirmed.
Ripley reportedly walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 6th, pointed his bat toward the left-field wall looming 130 feet in the distance, and let her rip, sending the ball rocketing over the fence and into a parking lot as the fans cheered and his coach yelled out, “Attaboy, Nate! Good job, bud!”
His team, the Lil’ Padres, attempted to hoist him up on their shoulders in celebration of their great victory over the favored Tiny Tigers, but were unable to pick up the large 230-pound man.
Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.
“I’m just proud to be here with my team. It’s all for the love of the game,” an emotional Ripley told reporters while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.”
the babylon bee
Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:47 pm to L.A.
quote:
Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.
Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:47 pm to tilco
Wonder if he got to go out for ice cream after the game ?
Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:57 pm to L.A.
Juice Box and Orange Slice wouldn't get it done on my team
Most parents brought coolers of Squeeze Its, or Mondos, or Kool Aid Bursts, or Capri Suns. And bags of chips.
But there always had to be the parent who had to one-up everyone else. We had parents on our team all take us out to Chuck E Cheese instead of providing the basic post game snack and drink.
Most parents brought coolers of Squeeze Its, or Mondos, or Kool Aid Bursts, or Capri Suns. And bags of chips.
But there always had to be the parent who had to one-up everyone else. We had parents on our team all take us out to Chuck E Cheese instead of providing the basic post game snack and drink.
Posted on 6/7/19 at 7:11 pm to L.A.
Doesn’t the winner of the drive chip and putt event get to go to Masters?
Posted on 6/7/19 at 8:06 pm to L.A.
quote:
“I’m just proud to be here with my team. It’s all for the love of the game,” an emotional Ripley told reporters while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.”
Later that night, Ripley identified as a 36yo and fricked the outfielder's mom.
This post was edited on 6/7/19 at 8:14 pm
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