Page 1
Page 1
Started By
Message
locked post

Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship

Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:39 pm
Posted by L.A.
The Mojave Desert
Member since Aug 2003
66645 posts
Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:39 pm
***Satire alert***

The Babylon Bee does a great job of poking fun at our modern day foibles and excesses.




quote:

AUBURN, CA—Local 36-year-old man Nate Ripley, who identifies as a six-year-old, “absolutely crushed” a game-winning homer at a local tee-ball game and won the championship for his team Monday evening, reports confirmed.

Ripley reportedly walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 6th, pointed his bat toward the left-field wall looming 130 feet in the distance, and let her rip, sending the ball rocketing over the fence and into a parking lot as the fans cheered and his coach yelled out, “Attaboy, Nate! Good job, bud!”

His team, the Lil’ Padres, attempted to hoist him up on their shoulders in celebration of their great victory over the favored Tiny Tigers, but were unable to pick up the large 230-pound man.

Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.

“I’m just proud to be here with my team. It’s all for the love of the game,” an emotional Ripley told reporters while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.”

the babylon bee
Posted by tilco
Spanish Fort, AL
Member since Nov 2013
14480 posts
Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:45 pm to
So brave
Posted by L.A.
The Mojave Desert
Member since Aug 2003
66645 posts
Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:47 pm to
quote:

Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.
Posted by Wienerboy
Member since Oct 2016
1095 posts
Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:47 pm to
Wonder if he got to go out for ice cream after the game ?
Posted by HueyP
Lubbock
Member since Nov 2008
3155 posts
Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:51 pm to
The Emperor has new clothes.
Posted by airlinehwypanhandler
Airline Highway
Member since Feb 2019
2130 posts
Posted on 6/7/19 at 6:57 pm to
Juice Box and Orange Slice wouldn't get it done on my team

Most parents brought coolers of Squeeze Its, or Mondos, or Kool Aid Bursts, or Capri Suns. And bags of chips.

But there always had to be the parent who had to one-up everyone else. We had parents on our team all take us out to Chuck E Cheese instead of providing the basic post game snack and drink.
Posted by ItNeverRains
Offugeaux
Member since Oct 2007
28166 posts
Posted on 6/7/19 at 7:11 pm to
Doesn’t the winner of the drive chip and putt event get to go to Masters?
Posted by Perfect Circle
S W Alabama
Member since Sep 2017
7904 posts
Posted on 6/7/19 at 7:13 pm to
Gotta love the Bee.
Posted by davyjones
NELA
Member since Feb 2019
36755 posts
Posted on 6/7/19 at 7:14 pm to
That is so messed up. WTF!?!?
Posted by Dead End
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2013
21237 posts
Posted on 6/7/19 at 8:06 pm to
quote:


“I’m just proud to be here with my team. It’s all for the love of the game,” an emotional Ripley told reporters while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.”


Later that night, Ripley identified as a 36yo and fricked the outfielder's mom.
This post was edited on 6/7/19 at 8:14 pm
first pageprev pagePage 1 of 1Next pagelast page
refresh

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on X, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookXInstagram