- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
In new book Cat In The Hat gives kids puberty blockers while their mother isn’t home
Posted on 3/5/21 at 1:53 pm
Posted on 3/5/21 at 1:53 pm
BB
Things have changed quite a bit in the world of Dr. Seuss, as six of his works have been pulled from publication, banned from sale on eBay, and eliminated from people’s minds using lobotomies to help fight the threat of racism. To get with the times, though, a new Dr. Seuss book has been released, called The Cat in the Hat (He/Him).
“In this new book, using reworked art from Dr. Seuss,” said a letter from Dr. Seuss’s estate, “the Cat in the Hat once again finds the two children home alone and bored. This time he diagnoses their malaise as gender dysphoria and proceeds to give the children puberty blockers.”
An excerpt from the book reads:
"I have some new drugs,"
said the cat in the hat.
"A lot of good drugs!
I'll inject them in you.
Your mother will not mind at all if I do."
The children learn a lesson in intolerance, too, as their goldfish ignorantly tries to stop them from taking the drugs, warning them of permanent side effects. The goldfish is then killed and flushed down a toilet.
Numerous drag queens will be deployed to libraries across the country to perform free readings of the book to children.
Things have changed quite a bit in the world of Dr. Seuss, as six of his works have been pulled from publication, banned from sale on eBay, and eliminated from people’s minds using lobotomies to help fight the threat of racism. To get with the times, though, a new Dr. Seuss book has been released, called The Cat in the Hat (He/Him).
“In this new book, using reworked art from Dr. Seuss,” said a letter from Dr. Seuss’s estate, “the Cat in the Hat once again finds the two children home alone and bored. This time he diagnoses their malaise as gender dysphoria and proceeds to give the children puberty blockers.”
An excerpt from the book reads:
"I have some new drugs,"
said the cat in the hat.
"A lot of good drugs!
I'll inject them in you.
Your mother will not mind at all if I do."
The children learn a lesson in intolerance, too, as their goldfish ignorantly tries to stop them from taking the drugs, warning them of permanent side effects. The goldfish is then killed and flushed down a toilet.
Numerous drag queens will be deployed to libraries across the country to perform free readings of the book to children.
Posted on 3/5/21 at 1:54 pm to Crimson Wraith
Why do I have a feeling that Audrey Geisel would be on board with that change?
Posted on 3/5/21 at 1:57 pm to Crimson Wraith
BB just keeps churning out hit after hit.
Posted on 3/5/21 at 1:58 pm to Crimson Wraith
quote:why do you give away the punch line right off the bat?
BB
the whole point is to post a BB story w/o credit. then people will think, "well this is insane, but the way things are going now, it could be real."
Posted on 3/5/21 at 2:01 pm to Crimson Wraith
The Bee is really putting out incredible work these days
Posted on 3/5/21 at 2:24 pm to RemouladeSawce
quote:
The Bee is really putting out incredible work these days
I feel like they have to spin these stories out faster in order to stay ahead of the absurdity.
Posted on 3/5/21 at 2:48 pm to RemouladeSawce
quote:
The Bee is really putting out incredible work these days
It's not like they have to try too hard. Everything happening at this point in time would be comical just 10 years ago. They're just taking a time machine 10 years into the future and bringing material back with them.
Posted on 3/5/21 at 3:00 pm to Crimson Wraith
That book retake sounds creepy AF.
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News