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TulaneLSU's official 2011 movie reviews thread
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:41 pm
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:41 pm
Burlesque One of the all-time terrible stories. The writing of this movie is horrific. Christina is attractive and has a few good parts, but overall, she is not a good actress. Cher should be in a nursing home. It is pathetic how much surgery she has had. Movie was too long. 3/10
Chronicles of Narnia A fun movie that can stand alone. I have never seen the other Narnia movies, but thought this one did a fine job of combining adventure with interesting CGI and a positive morality. The kids are a bit annoying, but the movie builds to a triumphant crescendo. 7/10
Country Strong The story could have gone to great heights, but instead stuck to the mud and mire. Paltrow's character is annoying and clearly based on Brittney Spears. Hedlund does a decent job, but his torn love interests makes his character less than credible. More should have been tuned to Paltrow and McGraw's relationship. Good music. 6/10
The Fighter A really enjoyable movie that grows on you the more you think about the performances. It is entirely character driven and the two leads are exceptional. The movie isn't about boxing - it's about family, brothers, conflicting allegiances, and triumph over weakness. The boxing scenes are bad and a waste of time. 9/10
Gulliver's Travels - it's official: Jack Black can only play one character and that character is not cool and not funny. This is a terrible movie, one of the worst of the years and there's zero redeeming about it. Acting, story, everything. Terrible. 0/10.
Harry Potter (2nd to last) Like Narnia I'd never seen any of its predecessors. Perhaps had I, I might have understood what was going on. I didn't. From start to finish I was confused and wondered who all these characters were. Fans of this movie obviously had an attachment to Harry before seeing this one because on its own, it is an utter failure. 4/10
How Do You Know according to reports, this movie cost $120 million to make. Did the actors wipe their butts with gold toilet paper? This movie is awkward and heads in no discernible or interesting direction. Although it's labeled a romantic movie, there is no romance and I left the theater caring not for any of the characters, knowing it was just a paycheck for all of them. Worst romance in years. 2/10
The King's Speech A great triumph of cinematic docu-drama. It brings history and drama together like never before. You will leave this movie identifying with at least one character at least at some point in your life. The soundtrack is almost as marvelous as the performances. 9/10
The Roommate Watching several cardboard actors following as predictable a script as they come gave me time to wonder how ratings have changed so much in the last decade. How was this movie given a PG-13 rating? The movie is little more than violence and a shallow, dangerous look at mental illnesses. It's a movie that demonizes people who have mental illness. I can't imagine the budget of this film was much more than $5 million. From FPOBA's use of The University of Los Angeles to props made out of paper to a script I could have written in two hours, this is about as cheap a movie as can be made. In fact, as the opening credits came on, I thought I was watching a bad Lifetime movie. My biggest complaint though was that all the characters didn't die in a giant conflagration within five minutes of the movie's start. Then I wouldn't have wasted so much time. 1/10
The Road Home Epic is over-used in the internet days, and it's a shame because this movie is an epic movie. It is the story of a group of prisoners sent to the Siberian Gulag who know the only way they can continue life is if they attempt a long shot prison break. The story is what drives this movie. What an epic story of adventure and the love of freedom. I think Weir was so worried that we would get bored that he sacrificed character development for continuous moving. The characters are not nearly as well developed as they should have been. I couldn't even recall two of their names at the end. Nevertheless, you learn to identify with them as they make their way through all kinds of challenges. The movie delves deeply into what it is that drives humans, much better than widely acclaimed 127 Hours. Although the story is likely untrue, the story captures the essence of humanity and its a captivating pictorial tour of an area of the world few of us ever consider. The National Geographic element of the movie is reason enough to watch it. The end of the movie, while a little staged and Notebook-esque, is how I hope my life ends. Years and years of separation brought to naught by a reunion of love. 7/10
The Rite The critics who trash this movie completely miss the point of it. They seem to think it's a horror flick, but that shows they are uninformed morons. It's a movie about spiritual journeys, a movement from skepticism to hell to faith. The lead role isn't particularly good, but neither is the guy from Silence of the Lambs. This role is quite similar to his Silence of the Lambs role: conflicted, wise man who plays a villain and a hero. Anthony Hopkins is probably the most overrated actor of his generation. The Rite sometimes looks like a cheaply made film, but it is an interesting movie about faith and what brings faith. Theologically, I think it hovers too much in the realm of paganism. 6/10
The Mechanic the best thing about this movie is it's filmed in New Orleans. Watching it, I was more attuned to figuring out which building or where in the city they were set. The movie has way too much blood and violence to recommend. The story is interesting enough and Straham or whatever his name plays the role well, but the movie has no message except killing. Hard to recommend a movie like that. It moves fast and is tightly knit, but the lack of a worthwhile theme makes this a bust. 3/10
Sanctum - this is only the second movie I've seen in 3-D. I really hate 3-D. It adds nothing to the movie. In fact, it detracts from the movie because it makes things more difficult to see on the whole and gives me a headache afterward. Anyway, this movie sucks. It's supposed to be about adventure and the complex relationship of a father and son, but it's really a movie about rich spoiled people who have no purpose and euthanasia. This is about the most pro-euthanasia movie made in America yet. Besides that horrible message, the film tries to make swimming through caves for two hours entertaining. The acting is horrendous, the dialogue just as bad, the casting terrible, the story just rancid. There were a few intense scenes, but overall a terrible movie. 1/10
Biutiful Spaniards are weird people. Every person from Spain I've ever known was a bit odd and it seems their movie makers are even weirder. Biutiful is a 150 minute movie in English subtitles about the road to Hell being paved with good intentions. The movie focuses on a man who sees himself as a Messiah, a very humble one, who sees the lost and feels like he must save them. Yet every time he tries to help someone, it seems that only misery comes from it. And like all messiahs, he carries the burdens of a corrupt world and will be crucified for his good will. The characters are complex and real; they move the movie progressively forward, but the movie is aimless and the director gets lost in his way trying to be profound. Reading the reviews by professional critics shows how poor film criticism has become. They don't understand this movie at all. 4/10
Chronicles of Narnia A fun movie that can stand alone. I have never seen the other Narnia movies, but thought this one did a fine job of combining adventure with interesting CGI and a positive morality. The kids are a bit annoying, but the movie builds to a triumphant crescendo. 7/10
Country Strong The story could have gone to great heights, but instead stuck to the mud and mire. Paltrow's character is annoying and clearly based on Brittney Spears. Hedlund does a decent job, but his torn love interests makes his character less than credible. More should have been tuned to Paltrow and McGraw's relationship. Good music. 6/10
The Fighter A really enjoyable movie that grows on you the more you think about the performances. It is entirely character driven and the two leads are exceptional. The movie isn't about boxing - it's about family, brothers, conflicting allegiances, and triumph over weakness. The boxing scenes are bad and a waste of time. 9/10
Gulliver's Travels - it's official: Jack Black can only play one character and that character is not cool and not funny. This is a terrible movie, one of the worst of the years and there's zero redeeming about it. Acting, story, everything. Terrible. 0/10.
Harry Potter (2nd to last) Like Narnia I'd never seen any of its predecessors. Perhaps had I, I might have understood what was going on. I didn't. From start to finish I was confused and wondered who all these characters were. Fans of this movie obviously had an attachment to Harry before seeing this one because on its own, it is an utter failure. 4/10
How Do You Know according to reports, this movie cost $120 million to make. Did the actors wipe their butts with gold toilet paper? This movie is awkward and heads in no discernible or interesting direction. Although it's labeled a romantic movie, there is no romance and I left the theater caring not for any of the characters, knowing it was just a paycheck for all of them. Worst romance in years. 2/10
The King's Speech A great triumph of cinematic docu-drama. It brings history and drama together like never before. You will leave this movie identifying with at least one character at least at some point in your life. The soundtrack is almost as marvelous as the performances. 9/10
The Roommate Watching several cardboard actors following as predictable a script as they come gave me time to wonder how ratings have changed so much in the last decade. How was this movie given a PG-13 rating? The movie is little more than violence and a shallow, dangerous look at mental illnesses. It's a movie that demonizes people who have mental illness. I can't imagine the budget of this film was much more than $5 million. From FPOBA's use of The University of Los Angeles to props made out of paper to a script I could have written in two hours, this is about as cheap a movie as can be made. In fact, as the opening credits came on, I thought I was watching a bad Lifetime movie. My biggest complaint though was that all the characters didn't die in a giant conflagration within five minutes of the movie's start. Then I wouldn't have wasted so much time. 1/10
The Road Home Epic is over-used in the internet days, and it's a shame because this movie is an epic movie. It is the story of a group of prisoners sent to the Siberian Gulag who know the only way they can continue life is if they attempt a long shot prison break. The story is what drives this movie. What an epic story of adventure and the love of freedom. I think Weir was so worried that we would get bored that he sacrificed character development for continuous moving. The characters are not nearly as well developed as they should have been. I couldn't even recall two of their names at the end. Nevertheless, you learn to identify with them as they make their way through all kinds of challenges. The movie delves deeply into what it is that drives humans, much better than widely acclaimed 127 Hours. Although the story is likely untrue, the story captures the essence of humanity and its a captivating pictorial tour of an area of the world few of us ever consider. The National Geographic element of the movie is reason enough to watch it. The end of the movie, while a little staged and Notebook-esque, is how I hope my life ends. Years and years of separation brought to naught by a reunion of love. 7/10
The Rite The critics who trash this movie completely miss the point of it. They seem to think it's a horror flick, but that shows they are uninformed morons. It's a movie about spiritual journeys, a movement from skepticism to hell to faith. The lead role isn't particularly good, but neither is the guy from Silence of the Lambs. This role is quite similar to his Silence of the Lambs role: conflicted, wise man who plays a villain and a hero. Anthony Hopkins is probably the most overrated actor of his generation. The Rite sometimes looks like a cheaply made film, but it is an interesting movie about faith and what brings faith. Theologically, I think it hovers too much in the realm of paganism. 6/10
The Mechanic the best thing about this movie is it's filmed in New Orleans. Watching it, I was more attuned to figuring out which building or where in the city they were set. The movie has way too much blood and violence to recommend. The story is interesting enough and Straham or whatever his name plays the role well, but the movie has no message except killing. Hard to recommend a movie like that. It moves fast and is tightly knit, but the lack of a worthwhile theme makes this a bust. 3/10
Sanctum - this is only the second movie I've seen in 3-D. I really hate 3-D. It adds nothing to the movie. In fact, it detracts from the movie because it makes things more difficult to see on the whole and gives me a headache afterward. Anyway, this movie sucks. It's supposed to be about adventure and the complex relationship of a father and son, but it's really a movie about rich spoiled people who have no purpose and euthanasia. This is about the most pro-euthanasia movie made in America yet. Besides that horrible message, the film tries to make swimming through caves for two hours entertaining. The acting is horrendous, the dialogue just as bad, the casting terrible, the story just rancid. There were a few intense scenes, but overall a terrible movie. 1/10
Biutiful Spaniards are weird people. Every person from Spain I've ever known was a bit odd and it seems their movie makers are even weirder. Biutiful is a 150 minute movie in English subtitles about the road to Hell being paved with good intentions. The movie focuses on a man who sees himself as a Messiah, a very humble one, who sees the lost and feels like he must save them. Yet every time he tries to help someone, it seems that only misery comes from it. And like all messiahs, he carries the burdens of a corrupt world and will be crucified for his good will. The characters are complex and real; they move the movie progressively forward, but the movie is aimless and the director gets lost in his way trying to be profound. Reading the reviews by professional critics shows how poor film criticism has become. They don't understand this movie at all. 4/10
13
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:42 pm to TulaneLSU
The Green Hornet with the proliferation of comic book movies these days, you'd think the producers would have a standard pattern of success to follow. The Green Hornet moves away from any standard and tries to make a cutesy, Hangoverish comedy comic. It fails miserably. The lead of the show, Rogen, isn't remotely funny and his presence makes the movie fail from the very beginning. Why is this man a movie star? He's horrible. The co-star is low English speaker who is supposed to be made in the image of Bruce Lee. An hour into this goofy movie I was ready to leave, but I was tortured for another full hour. The only remotely interesting thing about this movie was the use of car weapons. Cameron Diaz is past her sell by date. 3/10.
No Strings Attached Why does it seem like every movie set today has a flashback to either the late 80s or early 90s? NSA starts with a bad premise and the movie is intent to show how wrong that premise is. The problem is along the way, the movie doesn't completely reject the premise or other vices which make the premise possible. There is a moving scene at the end, as you might expect, but with the impurity scattered throughout the movie, it's hard to feel like the characters have really undergone catharsis and been redeemed. Nonetheless, there are humorous parts, but if you've seen the trailer, you've seen most of the movie. Portman is a good actress, but she's not that attractive. 6/10
Season of the Witch I read a few scathing reviews and went to see this just to see how bad a movie Cage was willing to sign to. I was surprised that this movie wasn't nearly as bad as the critics said. The large scale battle scenes are bad and the CGI for the most part about a decade behind, but the story was a bit interesting, and actually surprised me. At first, I thought this was just another attack on the Church of the Middle Ages, but it was actually, in a weird way, a defense of it. The movie was always entertaining and moved very quickly, so you won't be bored. 5/10
The Dilemma Pretty good romantic comedy. Theme of the movie is honesty. Really good message throughout. Perhaps it tries to touch on too many issues - unfaithfulness, faithfulness, moral dilemmas, gambling, anger, drugs, hard work, ambition, best friends, and marriage. But to make the characters more believable, I'd say erring on the side of too many issues is better than too few issues. Flashbacks in the movie were hilarious. Jennifer Connelly is stunning. She lost probably about ten pounds too much. Still, she is a striking beauty, not as beautiful as the Beloved, but very beautiful. The last scene with her and her man when they are alone made me cry. Literally, I was balling in the theater this morning. Really good ending. A well movie that should be considered a classic of the romantic comedy drama, especially considering all the recent dross in that category. 8/10
The Company Men If you want to see Ben Affleck's pro-unionist, pro-socialist views, this is your movie. Set in the backdrop of the 2008 financial crash, the movie is a manifesto against corporate greed and a warning to people who invest their lives in their work. As a Christian, I am against both, but I do not understand why Affleck thinks he's for the average man. He's a celebrity who spends his time and money with celebrities. He knows as much about an honest day's work as I know about my Beloved's ancillary regions.
The movie hums at the pace of a mass transit bus. This movie is more a movie about what could have been. It could have been a great movie if the director bothered to make the characters lovable. It could have been a great story had the writer not allowed Affleck's unionist propaganda to infiltrate at every possible turn. At one point we hear that the CEO makes 700 times what the avg. employee makes in the company. Funny considering Affleck makes $37,000,000 a year and the median American salary is $32,000. For those not good at math, Affleck makes about 1,200 times the average American salary. Chris Cooper gives the strongest performance, and his role is most credible while the others are rather empty.
The writing is at its worse and most confused at the very end. After 90 minutes of pounding in the message that hard work with your hands that produces something palpable is good, we end in "triumph." Not the triumph of hard work, but of returning to the office to do exactly what it was they were all doing before. Wholly unsatisfying and it shows the shoddy craftsmanship of a splintered mind and life - one that does not practice what he preaches - and ruins the possibility of this being a good movie. 5/10
Little Fockers Meet the Parents should have stopped with the original. This movie does nothing new and repeats the same, tired jokes again and again. Do comic writers think audiences are so unfunny? I didn't chuckle once and found every character to be annoying. Alba is terrible. 3/10
Megamind It's been a couple of months since seeing this, but thought it was decent. I'm glad they reduced the role of Brad Pitt. Even though it's animation, it is a romance movie, not a kid's movie. The love Megamind has for Ms. Palin is admirable and I came to feel for the guy. 6/10
The Social Network Tight writing, great story, and moves at a pace that is irresistible. I haven't sat through two hours that went by more quickly than when watching this one. No performance sticks out; it's just a solid movie all the way around. 9/10
No Strings Attached Why does it seem like every movie set today has a flashback to either the late 80s or early 90s? NSA starts with a bad premise and the movie is intent to show how wrong that premise is. The problem is along the way, the movie doesn't completely reject the premise or other vices which make the premise possible. There is a moving scene at the end, as you might expect, but with the impurity scattered throughout the movie, it's hard to feel like the characters have really undergone catharsis and been redeemed. Nonetheless, there are humorous parts, but if you've seen the trailer, you've seen most of the movie. Portman is a good actress, but she's not that attractive. 6/10
Season of the Witch I read a few scathing reviews and went to see this just to see how bad a movie Cage was willing to sign to. I was surprised that this movie wasn't nearly as bad as the critics said. The large scale battle scenes are bad and the CGI for the most part about a decade behind, but the story was a bit interesting, and actually surprised me. At first, I thought this was just another attack on the Church of the Middle Ages, but it was actually, in a weird way, a defense of it. The movie was always entertaining and moved very quickly, so you won't be bored. 5/10
The Dilemma Pretty good romantic comedy. Theme of the movie is honesty. Really good message throughout. Perhaps it tries to touch on too many issues - unfaithfulness, faithfulness, moral dilemmas, gambling, anger, drugs, hard work, ambition, best friends, and marriage. But to make the characters more believable, I'd say erring on the side of too many issues is better than too few issues. Flashbacks in the movie were hilarious. Jennifer Connelly is stunning. She lost probably about ten pounds too much. Still, she is a striking beauty, not as beautiful as the Beloved, but very beautiful. The last scene with her and her man when they are alone made me cry. Literally, I was balling in the theater this morning. Really good ending. A well movie that should be considered a classic of the romantic comedy drama, especially considering all the recent dross in that category. 8/10
The Company Men If you want to see Ben Affleck's pro-unionist, pro-socialist views, this is your movie. Set in the backdrop of the 2008 financial crash, the movie is a manifesto against corporate greed and a warning to people who invest their lives in their work. As a Christian, I am against both, but I do not understand why Affleck thinks he's for the average man. He's a celebrity who spends his time and money with celebrities. He knows as much about an honest day's work as I know about my Beloved's ancillary regions.
The movie hums at the pace of a mass transit bus. This movie is more a movie about what could have been. It could have been a great movie if the director bothered to make the characters lovable. It could have been a great story had the writer not allowed Affleck's unionist propaganda to infiltrate at every possible turn. At one point we hear that the CEO makes 700 times what the avg. employee makes in the company. Funny considering Affleck makes $37,000,000 a year and the median American salary is $32,000. For those not good at math, Affleck makes about 1,200 times the average American salary. Chris Cooper gives the strongest performance, and his role is most credible while the others are rather empty.
The writing is at its worse and most confused at the very end. After 90 minutes of pounding in the message that hard work with your hands that produces something palpable is good, we end in "triumph." Not the triumph of hard work, but of returning to the office to do exactly what it was they were all doing before. Wholly unsatisfying and it shows the shoddy craftsmanship of a splintered mind and life - one that does not practice what he preaches - and ruins the possibility of this being a good movie. 5/10
Little Fockers Meet the Parents should have stopped with the original. This movie does nothing new and repeats the same, tired jokes again and again. Do comic writers think audiences are so unfunny? I didn't chuckle once and found every character to be annoying. Alba is terrible. 3/10
Megamind It's been a couple of months since seeing this, but thought it was decent. I'm glad they reduced the role of Brad Pitt. Even though it's animation, it is a romance movie, not a kid's movie. The love Megamind has for Ms. Palin is admirable and I came to feel for the guy. 6/10
The Social Network Tight writing, great story, and moves at a pace that is irresistible. I haven't sat through two hours that went by more quickly than when watching this one. No performance sticks out; it's just a solid movie all the way around. 9/10
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:43 pm to TulaneLSU
Tangled I felt embarrassed not to know this fairytale. After seeing it three times already I feel that I know the tale backwards and forwards. The young lady, even though she is a cartoon, is very attractive and I found her hair irresistible. She reminded me of my Beloved. The colors are beautiful and the music fun. Not as good as The Princess and the Frog, but still good. 8/10
The Tourist We're supposed to believe that Johnny Depp is the every man? Get real. Jolie is very attractive, perhaps at her prettiest in this film. And the cinematography of Venice is lovely. The story is not and it is one of the most predictable movies of the year. 4/10
Tron: Legacy I did not see the original and have no intention of it. I quite liked this movie even though I don't usually like sci-fi. There's little connection I felt towards any of the characters, and blew most of their roles off as amalgamations of other characters, like from Star Wars to name one. Olivia Wilde is beautiful, like the Beloved, and her closeup shots are mesmerizing. Some of the cosmic philosophies of the movie are interesting, as are the colors and action scenes. 6/10
True Grit I'm not a huge Western genre lover, but this movie is tightly wound and Bridges is at his best playing an old curmudgeon. Damon is annoying and I don't like the violence. Its use of biblical quotes is empty and an attempt to placate and stimulate shallow thinkers who think that a Bible quote thrown into a movie is somehow profound. 7/10
Never Say Never Never would I think I'd say that spending $10 on my Never Say Never ticket was the best value for money of anything I bought this year, but here I am to say that. The movie itself is good. It's an interesting documentary on a kid who is trying to stay a kid in this big world. The music is great. The sequence and timing are superb. But what puts this movie over the top are the fans. That's right. By the end of the movie, 75% of the theater, consisting mostly of early and pre-teen girls were on the ground level with their hands up, screaming and touching the screen as if the movie were a concert. It was exhilarating to be in that number! I confess I too ran down to the floor and began dancing and screaming with the masses. What an awesome movie experience. Movie 6/10 Experience 10/10.
Take Me Home Tonight The first half hour of this movie was amongst the worst 30 minutes of film in history. The trailer makes it out to be a comedy, but there are no humorous elements to the movie, especially in the first 30 minutes. The most interesting aspect of this movie involves failure and regret and how it has motivated, or rather, marked the movie's protagonist. If the director had focused on that instead of stupid scenes that did not help the movie, it might be worth seeing. But as it lacks comic and true dramatic elements, it flops. The music is pretty good if you're an 80s fan, but what? They didn't even put Take Me Home Tonight in the movie! Really. The title has nothing to do with this movie and the ending is just poor. 2/10
Rango As some have said, this is a kid's movie for adults. The themes of self redemption, challenge, and justice are ever present. Set with a Western motif, I have to say it's one of the best Western movies ever made. The computer graphics are believable, the story is tight, the dialogue wonderful, and the characters as spritely as a lizard crossing an interstate. It is also a humorous movie whose wit is matched only by its self knowledge as a Western. It is probably the best movie at the theaters in March. 9/10
Soul Surfer - I went into this movie knowing nothing about it, nothing. It was playing when I arrived at the theater, so I went blind. All I knew was it was rated PG. When it began, I thought, "This looks dumb, but at least it's a pretty girl in a bikini." Moments later, the girl goes to church, and I'm thinking, "This must be one of those evangelical Christian movies that's trying to make a way into the mainstream." Bingo. With a star studded cast of Helen Hunt, Dennis Quaid, Craig Nelson (from the show Coach, who seems to be making a comeback with his recent role in the bland Company Men), Kevin Sorbo, and Carrie Underwood it caught me off guard because usually that type of movie has a no-name cast or with that fundamentalist guy Scott from Growing Pains.
For the first hour of the movie, I was really annoyed by it. It was overly preachy, overly sentimental, and overly focus on surfing and the life of a self-centered, selfish family that adds nothing to the world. They lived for their own entertainment, like most of the "evangelical Christians" today who are self-righteous and act that fake Mormon niceness that comes off as smug. People like this family put a lot of people off Christianity because they claim Christ, but live lives of the aesthete, living as if God chose them and them alone to enjoy the world. Suffering? As long as it's not me and my family, who cares? It's that type of teaching that has made much of what passes as Christianity in America the epitome of what Jesus taught against (much like Mormonism). Back to the movie, it was growing in annoying scenes, chirpy lines, and overly sentimental music to a crescendo of all I hate about American happy-clappyism. Where was the reality? The didactic moment?
But something happened in the last quarter of the movie. A pivotal change in the mood and direction, and it made all the difference. I won't spoil it for you, but somehow I got caught up in the young girl's life, and began sobbing uncontrollably in the theater. I have never cried like that from a movie, but this movie somehow reached into my spirit and tugged at it, perhaps more than any other movie since Rudy and A Walk to Remember. I confess that afterward, I felt a little used, but the feelings of manipulation passed when I realized this movie was based on a true story, and the one whose life it is based seemed genuine and true. I feel torn to give it a high rating because of the first 3/4 of the movie and the emotional roller coaster it takes you on, but I will give it a 7/10 just on the fact that it moved me so severely.
Source Code - a movie I went into blindly as well. From the title I thought it was going to be about computer hacking or some silly subject like that. Immediately, the movie embraces you with its mystery and action. The director really does his profession proudly using many of the known and unknown techniques of Hitchcock. To go into more detail is to give the movie away, but throughout the movie, I was intrigued and entertained.
It tries to pass itself off as intelligent, delving into the paradoxes of time travel, but it adds nothing of note, borrowing instead from Terminator and Back to the Future ideas. Not that interesting in my opinion, but what is interesting is the perfectly organized movie, its pace, and its great roles, perfectly cast might I add. I don't think I blinked the entire time. As a mystery-action-thriller, it doesn't get any better than this, but those who try to turn it into some intellectual treatise are morons. 8/10
The Tourist We're supposed to believe that Johnny Depp is the every man? Get real. Jolie is very attractive, perhaps at her prettiest in this film. And the cinematography of Venice is lovely. The story is not and it is one of the most predictable movies of the year. 4/10
Tron: Legacy I did not see the original and have no intention of it. I quite liked this movie even though I don't usually like sci-fi. There's little connection I felt towards any of the characters, and blew most of their roles off as amalgamations of other characters, like from Star Wars to name one. Olivia Wilde is beautiful, like the Beloved, and her closeup shots are mesmerizing. Some of the cosmic philosophies of the movie are interesting, as are the colors and action scenes. 6/10
True Grit I'm not a huge Western genre lover, but this movie is tightly wound and Bridges is at his best playing an old curmudgeon. Damon is annoying and I don't like the violence. Its use of biblical quotes is empty and an attempt to placate and stimulate shallow thinkers who think that a Bible quote thrown into a movie is somehow profound. 7/10
Never Say Never Never would I think I'd say that spending $10 on my Never Say Never ticket was the best value for money of anything I bought this year, but here I am to say that. The movie itself is good. It's an interesting documentary on a kid who is trying to stay a kid in this big world. The music is great. The sequence and timing are superb. But what puts this movie over the top are the fans. That's right. By the end of the movie, 75% of the theater, consisting mostly of early and pre-teen girls were on the ground level with their hands up, screaming and touching the screen as if the movie were a concert. It was exhilarating to be in that number! I confess I too ran down to the floor and began dancing and screaming with the masses. What an awesome movie experience. Movie 6/10 Experience 10/10.
Take Me Home Tonight The first half hour of this movie was amongst the worst 30 minutes of film in history. The trailer makes it out to be a comedy, but there are no humorous elements to the movie, especially in the first 30 minutes. The most interesting aspect of this movie involves failure and regret and how it has motivated, or rather, marked the movie's protagonist. If the director had focused on that instead of stupid scenes that did not help the movie, it might be worth seeing. But as it lacks comic and true dramatic elements, it flops. The music is pretty good if you're an 80s fan, but what? They didn't even put Take Me Home Tonight in the movie! Really. The title has nothing to do with this movie and the ending is just poor. 2/10
Rango As some have said, this is a kid's movie for adults. The themes of self redemption, challenge, and justice are ever present. Set with a Western motif, I have to say it's one of the best Western movies ever made. The computer graphics are believable, the story is tight, the dialogue wonderful, and the characters as spritely as a lizard crossing an interstate. It is also a humorous movie whose wit is matched only by its self knowledge as a Western. It is probably the best movie at the theaters in March. 9/10
Soul Surfer - I went into this movie knowing nothing about it, nothing. It was playing when I arrived at the theater, so I went blind. All I knew was it was rated PG. When it began, I thought, "This looks dumb, but at least it's a pretty girl in a bikini." Moments later, the girl goes to church, and I'm thinking, "This must be one of those evangelical Christian movies that's trying to make a way into the mainstream." Bingo. With a star studded cast of Helen Hunt, Dennis Quaid, Craig Nelson (from the show Coach, who seems to be making a comeback with his recent role in the bland Company Men), Kevin Sorbo, and Carrie Underwood it caught me off guard because usually that type of movie has a no-name cast or with that fundamentalist guy Scott from Growing Pains.
For the first hour of the movie, I was really annoyed by it. It was overly preachy, overly sentimental, and overly focus on surfing and the life of a self-centered, selfish family that adds nothing to the world. They lived for their own entertainment, like most of the "evangelical Christians" today who are self-righteous and act that fake Mormon niceness that comes off as smug. People like this family put a lot of people off Christianity because they claim Christ, but live lives of the aesthete, living as if God chose them and them alone to enjoy the world. Suffering? As long as it's not me and my family, who cares? It's that type of teaching that has made much of what passes as Christianity in America the epitome of what Jesus taught against (much like Mormonism). Back to the movie, it was growing in annoying scenes, chirpy lines, and overly sentimental music to a crescendo of all I hate about American happy-clappyism. Where was the reality? The didactic moment?
But something happened in the last quarter of the movie. A pivotal change in the mood and direction, and it made all the difference. I won't spoil it for you, but somehow I got caught up in the young girl's life, and began sobbing uncontrollably in the theater. I have never cried like that from a movie, but this movie somehow reached into my spirit and tugged at it, perhaps more than any other movie since Rudy and A Walk to Remember. I confess that afterward, I felt a little used, but the feelings of manipulation passed when I realized this movie was based on a true story, and the one whose life it is based seemed genuine and true. I feel torn to give it a high rating because of the first 3/4 of the movie and the emotional roller coaster it takes you on, but I will give it a 7/10 just on the fact that it moved me so severely.
Source Code - a movie I went into blindly as well. From the title I thought it was going to be about computer hacking or some silly subject like that. Immediately, the movie embraces you with its mystery and action. The director really does his profession proudly using many of the known and unknown techniques of Hitchcock. To go into more detail is to give the movie away, but throughout the movie, I was intrigued and entertained.
It tries to pass itself off as intelligent, delving into the paradoxes of time travel, but it adds nothing of note, borrowing instead from Terminator and Back to the Future ideas. Not that interesting in my opinion, but what is interesting is the perfectly organized movie, its pace, and its great roles, perfectly cast might I add. I don't think I blinked the entire time. As a mystery-action-thriller, it doesn't get any better than this, but those who try to turn it into some intellectual treatise are morons. 8/10
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:43 pm to TulaneLSU
Prom - As a confessed lover of nostalgically sentimental movies, I went into this movie thinking it would whisk me back in time to my own high school years. But, I am sad to report, it did not. The movie tries way too hard to be sentimental and it comes across as a cheaply made movie. The premise is absurd - that prom is the entire point of high school and people look forward to it their entire lives. Unless things have changed, that's not true to real life. The director also tries to make prom night into some sort of Breakfast Club - attempting to be this generation's boundary crosser, showing that all kids in high school put on masks and one day (prom) take them off to see that they're all similar to each other. Judging by the zero other attendees in the theater while I was there, I don't think it succeeded in being a favorite of any generation, not even those who are juniors or seniors in high school, their obvious intended audience. 2/10
Water for Elephants - Having seen the trailer for this movie, I assumed it would be a fantasy movie based in a circus world. Boy was I wrong. This movie tries to be in less than two hours a documentary on the Great Depression and circus life, a story justifying adultery and breaking the law, and a cheap imitation of The Notebook. Fail. Fail. Fail. The only good performance in the movie is the ring master. He's an interesting, if violent, figure. Reese Witherspoon? Who has she slept with to get role after role? She's a TERRIBLE actress and not even very attractive. I don't see how she has done a single movie since Pretty In Pink. Every movie I've seen in which she has starred has been horrible. This movie is no exception. 2/10
Thor - Ah, yes, summer is here and so are the blockbusters. The summer has started in high style with Thor. I'm not a fan of those comic book movies, but this Marvel feature crosses the comic genre more than any other before it, even Iron Man. With themes from literature, religion, and science beautifully woven together, not to mention spectacular special effects that are among the prettiest ever made, this is the best movie I've seen so far in 2011. Natalie Portman and the guy who plays Thor have great chemistry, and that's not even the main story. The main story is about sibling rivalry, and it is marvelously illustrated. Absolutely outstanding. 9/10
Midnight in Paris The best way to see a movie is to know nothing at all about it before you enter. And that's how I approached this movie. I hadn't seen a single trailer, read a review, or even seen a movie poster. As soon as I sat down to the pleasant intro scene of the mundane snapshots of Paris life I knew I was in a movie worth seeing. When Owen Wilson came on screen I had mixed feelings. He is a fuzzy, warm character who plays the same character in every movie that you can't help but to like, but is he the sort of character for an artsy movie? The more I watched, the more I felt I was Owen's character. He connected with at least one viewer. Rachel McAdams is the anti-Woman: the woman every man should fear and hate, yet many men desire. You should grow to loathe such a woman, and, if you're like me, you will see many women in her. So sad that so many young girls aspire to be like McAdams' character.
The movie is a bit Field of Dreams, a bit Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, a bit Dead Poets Society. The cheesy parts don't ruin the movie, but they don't strengthen it either. To make up for the ignorance of many viewers, the writer thought it necessary for some of the characters to introduce themselves through a sort of encyclopedic monologue device. It's helpful if you are uneducated; annoying if you know the characters already. I absolutely love the cinematography. The lighting and scenes are phenomenal. The acting is surprisingly high brow. The dialogue, particularly Hemmingway's is good and at times hilarious. At the end of the day, this movie succeeds in being a modern morality tale about living in the eternal now. 9/10
Winnie the Pooh Review on page five. 0/10
Captain America Like another poster recently said, the trope of Nazis as the embodiment of all evil is growing old. Half the arguments on the internet end up at Nazism. A quarter of the blockbusters today use Nazism as the antagonist or symbol of evil. It on affirms what religion has always known: when telling a story for the masses, you need to have a bad guy and a form of evil, thus Satan. But surely Hollywood can find a new, more relevant villain.
The actor who plays Captain America is terrible. The woman he loves is beautiful and probably the most compelling of the characters. The dialogue certainly is telling of the movie's comic book origin. I groaned several times at Tommy Jones' script. The story is absurd. Either make the movie sci-fi or make it historical. Don't mix the two, at least not like C.A. does. As a summer popcorn flick, it still fails. There's no drama. We know, because of the opening scene, that the bombs headed to America fail. At least give us some tension. Trying to shift the time frames in this movie was a terrible fail. Despite a couple of quotes that are pro-justice instead of pro-war, this movie is very pro-war, and as a result, I would highly recommend you don't see it.2/10
Cowboys and Aliens: The first time I saw the trailer for this movie, it now seems like a year ago, I was almost sure this would be a comedy. A cowboy movie...about aliens? That's funny. A little dry humor from Harrison Ford, Wilde and Bond's blue eyes to appease the aesthetes, and some CGI for the kids. The trailer gave promise to an action-cowboy-comedy. But much to my surprise, and chagrin, this movie really is a cowboy movie about aliens.
It seems a recent trend to incorporate elements from two apparently disparate movie genres, what with Super 8 bringing together the 80's genre with sci-fi and all the comic book stories that weave histo-drama with sci-fi. It's anything but seamless. Sci-fi needs to remain in the realm of the nerds. Stop mixing sci-fi with bona fide movie genres. It's hurting my soul.
I discussed this movie with Ms. Wilde on Twitter for the past months. She assured me it would be good, but even with her reassurance, I remained skeptical. She promised me a refund if I didn't like it. Well, needless to say, I shall be contacting her for my $5 back. But I really won't, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. For her sake, please do not tell her what I'm about to tell you.
This movie fails on multiple levels. But the biggest and most irritating is ruining what would have been a good Western if they would have focused on a realistic, non-alien antagonist. Seeing cheaply made aliens running about in a landscape comparable to the heights of cinematography established in Open Range was nothing short of absurd. On the positive side, the movie was perfectly cast, even if Harrison Ford's recent grumpy old man routine is growing old. Olivia Wilde and Amy Adams are two of the finest actresses of this generation.
The introduction of Indians into the movie was a time filler and none of the Indians had a character that could make an audience care. The only relationship that has any transcendence is that between Ford and his Indian servant. Even Wilde and James Bond, despite their beautiful blue eyes, do not have much chemistry. I don't even know if I can say this was a good popcorn flick. Would I watch it again? Absolutely. Watching Olivie Wilde on the big screen is worth it and her beauty alone boosts this movie's score by two points, but the movie is still not very good. 4/10
Water for Elephants - Having seen the trailer for this movie, I assumed it would be a fantasy movie based in a circus world. Boy was I wrong. This movie tries to be in less than two hours a documentary on the Great Depression and circus life, a story justifying adultery and breaking the law, and a cheap imitation of The Notebook. Fail. Fail. Fail. The only good performance in the movie is the ring master. He's an interesting, if violent, figure. Reese Witherspoon? Who has she slept with to get role after role? She's a TERRIBLE actress and not even very attractive. I don't see how she has done a single movie since Pretty In Pink. Every movie I've seen in which she has starred has been horrible. This movie is no exception. 2/10
Thor - Ah, yes, summer is here and so are the blockbusters. The summer has started in high style with Thor. I'm not a fan of those comic book movies, but this Marvel feature crosses the comic genre more than any other before it, even Iron Man. With themes from literature, religion, and science beautifully woven together, not to mention spectacular special effects that are among the prettiest ever made, this is the best movie I've seen so far in 2011. Natalie Portman and the guy who plays Thor have great chemistry, and that's not even the main story. The main story is about sibling rivalry, and it is marvelously illustrated. Absolutely outstanding. 9/10
Midnight in Paris The best way to see a movie is to know nothing at all about it before you enter. And that's how I approached this movie. I hadn't seen a single trailer, read a review, or even seen a movie poster. As soon as I sat down to the pleasant intro scene of the mundane snapshots of Paris life I knew I was in a movie worth seeing. When Owen Wilson came on screen I had mixed feelings. He is a fuzzy, warm character who plays the same character in every movie that you can't help but to like, but is he the sort of character for an artsy movie? The more I watched, the more I felt I was Owen's character. He connected with at least one viewer. Rachel McAdams is the anti-Woman: the woman every man should fear and hate, yet many men desire. You should grow to loathe such a woman, and, if you're like me, you will see many women in her. So sad that so many young girls aspire to be like McAdams' character.
The movie is a bit Field of Dreams, a bit Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, a bit Dead Poets Society. The cheesy parts don't ruin the movie, but they don't strengthen it either. To make up for the ignorance of many viewers, the writer thought it necessary for some of the characters to introduce themselves through a sort of encyclopedic monologue device. It's helpful if you are uneducated; annoying if you know the characters already. I absolutely love the cinematography. The lighting and scenes are phenomenal. The acting is surprisingly high brow. The dialogue, particularly Hemmingway's is good and at times hilarious. At the end of the day, this movie succeeds in being a modern morality tale about living in the eternal now. 9/10
Winnie the Pooh Review on page five. 0/10
Captain America Like another poster recently said, the trope of Nazis as the embodiment of all evil is growing old. Half the arguments on the internet end up at Nazism. A quarter of the blockbusters today use Nazism as the antagonist or symbol of evil. It on affirms what religion has always known: when telling a story for the masses, you need to have a bad guy and a form of evil, thus Satan. But surely Hollywood can find a new, more relevant villain.
The actor who plays Captain America is terrible. The woman he loves is beautiful and probably the most compelling of the characters. The dialogue certainly is telling of the movie's comic book origin. I groaned several times at Tommy Jones' script. The story is absurd. Either make the movie sci-fi or make it historical. Don't mix the two, at least not like C.A. does. As a summer popcorn flick, it still fails. There's no drama. We know, because of the opening scene, that the bombs headed to America fail. At least give us some tension. Trying to shift the time frames in this movie was a terrible fail. Despite a couple of quotes that are pro-justice instead of pro-war, this movie is very pro-war, and as a result, I would highly recommend you don't see it.2/10
Cowboys and Aliens: The first time I saw the trailer for this movie, it now seems like a year ago, I was almost sure this would be a comedy. A cowboy movie...about aliens? That's funny. A little dry humor from Harrison Ford, Wilde and Bond's blue eyes to appease the aesthetes, and some CGI for the kids. The trailer gave promise to an action-cowboy-comedy. But much to my surprise, and chagrin, this movie really is a cowboy movie about aliens.
It seems a recent trend to incorporate elements from two apparently disparate movie genres, what with Super 8 bringing together the 80's genre with sci-fi and all the comic book stories that weave histo-drama with sci-fi. It's anything but seamless. Sci-fi needs to remain in the realm of the nerds. Stop mixing sci-fi with bona fide movie genres. It's hurting my soul.
I discussed this movie with Ms. Wilde on Twitter for the past months. She assured me it would be good, but even with her reassurance, I remained skeptical. She promised me a refund if I didn't like it. Well, needless to say, I shall be contacting her for my $5 back. But I really won't, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. For her sake, please do not tell her what I'm about to tell you.
This movie fails on multiple levels. But the biggest and most irritating is ruining what would have been a good Western if they would have focused on a realistic, non-alien antagonist. Seeing cheaply made aliens running about in a landscape comparable to the heights of cinematography established in Open Range was nothing short of absurd. On the positive side, the movie was perfectly cast, even if Harrison Ford's recent grumpy old man routine is growing old. Olivia Wilde and Amy Adams are two of the finest actresses of this generation.
The introduction of Indians into the movie was a time filler and none of the Indians had a character that could make an audience care. The only relationship that has any transcendence is that between Ford and his Indian servant. Even Wilde and James Bond, despite their beautiful blue eyes, do not have much chemistry. I don't even know if I can say this was a good popcorn flick. Would I watch it again? Absolutely. Watching Olivie Wilde on the big screen is worth it and her beauty alone boosts this movie's score by two points, but the movie is still not very good. 4/10
This post was edited on 7/29/11 at 1:44 pm
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:44 pm to TulaneLSU
do you get paid to watch all these movies?
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:44 pm to TulaneLSU
The Green Lantern Is it possible to spend so much money to make something so ordinary? The makers of The Green Lantern have to get credit for spending prime filet prices on an Outback sirloin. The special animation was not very special; the characters were not interesting; the story was stale. Using a beautiful female in the role she had is like putting wasabi on the Eucharist wafer: totally unnecessary and self-defeating. 4/10
The Hangover II In continuation of the poo-poo-pee-pee-penis-vagina-drugs comedy of the late 90's and 2000's, the Hangover II has succeeded in making a movie of sheer debasement. The entire movie was uncreative, which at least you cannot say for the first one. The makers of this movie were content to do no writing and no significant directing because they knew the American public is stupid enough to pay to see this. I didn't laugh once. The only interesting thing was seeing Bangkok, but Jean Claude Van Damme movies do a better job with cinematography. 1/10
Transformers 3 It was slightly better than the second one, but the story of Omega Prime isn't well told. I think if they had gone a little more in depth with the character of Omega, the movie might have gone somewhere, but Bay knew the public wanted to see bang bang pow pow, transform, die Decepticons! than actually develop a character or a story with any depth. It's a shame because all the animation would have buttressed an interesting story. 3/10
Horrible Bosses When your audience laughs hardest because one of its characters is named MFer, you know you've successfully filled the stomachs of the poo-poo-pee-pee-penis-vagina-drugs crowd. Sometimes I wonder if what passes as comedy today isn't written by 14 year old boys the studios recruit off message boards like the OT.
Jennifer Anniston is a pitiable, aging beauty whose acting career is dying, oh wait, was it ever alive? Jason Bateman is a talented actor, but until he realizes his potential, he'll be stuck scraping the bottom of the cheap seats for cheap minds. 3/10
Bad Teacher I believe I once wrote that Cameron Diaz has passed her sell by date. And that was months ago. Here were are in the summer of 2011 and the date is long passed and all we're left with is mold. Is this woman on drugs? Her face looks it. The premise of this movie is a teacher cheats and steals her way to make money to get fake breasts. The drug/sex humor that some think is "adult humor" creates uncomfortable laughs in the theater because I believe people feel obligated or under some sort of social contract to laugh at such dross. It isn't clever; the story is dumb; the actors crap. 1/10
Larry Crowne You know what, Hanks and Roberts have a real chemistry in this movie, but it's not romantic. It's more like the relationship Hanks has with that toy exec chick in Big. They try to force the romance angle, but it's acute and eventually it closes as a straight line. While I appreciate Hanks' positive, go-get-em attitude, it doesn't come off as very sincere and fails to plumb the depths of human disappointment. Are there people who are so look-on-the-bright-side in this world? Perhaps, but movies about them aren't good theater. 4/10
Everything Must Go Everything that Larry Crowne is not, Everything Must Go is. Here is a man many on TD can relate to: an alcoholic; accused of sexual harassment; left by wife for being a cheater; wandering aimlessly through this life. I picture several OT members specifically, though I will not name them. But you know who you are. The gravitas and soul searching left out by Hanks is filled, surprisingly, by Will Ferrell. Many have said this is Ferrell's Bill Murray breakthrough, showing that he can act more than dufus roles. I'm proud of Ferrell because behind his comic appearances, I think there is a Nick Halsey there. The most warming relationship in the movie is the one he shares with the young kid on the bike. Moments of levity spice the movie when the sadness of loss and despondence weigh heavily. 8/10
Monte Carlo I felt my soul being destroyed by this cooked u,p sentimental life-is-better with-what-you-have snoozer. It's all a crock. The message makes no sense in the movie's backdrop.
How do these girls pretend to be pleased with what they already have? For instance, Selena, she finds happiness after returning to Europe??? How does a five dollar an hour waitress afford to go back to Europe just weeks after her first trip to Europe? And her clothes? Sorry, but when you're making what she does, you're happy to have a place to sleep at night.
The other girl, the one from The Roommate, who by the way is not attractive at all, she lets go of all her pain by traveling around the world for a few months with some ex rugby player who has chicken legs, so unbelievable. How does she afford that? And how is travel throughout the world consistent with be happy with what you have? Does the producer have any clue how expensive it is to do what she did at the end? She's nothing but a hitched Julie Roberts from Eat Pray Love. She'll get tired of her new found boy, have an epiphany, and even though she's in great debt from her college education that she doesn't use for a job, she'll continue to travel.
And that last blonde, the real skanky one who cheats on her boyfriend by going out on date after date in Europe. Do we really buy that it's only through cheating that we find who we truly love? If I were her boyfriend and found those flowers, I would have kicked her skank arse to the curb. Damn whore. So what if that French guy on the boat hadn't been a jerk? Does that mean she would have fallen in love with him?
This movie is a kid's version of Eat Pray Love and totally contradicting to itself. I could have written a better script in 30 minutes. 2/10
Harry Potter (the last one) "'Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.'" So lives the entirety of the Harry Potter series, in my unread, unwatched opinion. All the books are one laywoman's descriptive sermon on Matthew 26. But the series' size and breadth is an elaborate misdirection. Only at the end do we realize what the series is about: the Garden of Gethsemane: coming to realize and face your fate, even if it means sacrificing everything.
In the one tear drops in the bowl scene, all is made known about Harry. I feel I needn't watch or read any of the books because all is peripheral to what is revealed in that bowl. All 20 hours of the film; all thousands of poorly written pages of words. All have been diverting our attention through cheeky wizardry and witchcraft from the heart of the story: Harry is his own foil. Jesus made a similar realization in the desert of temptation where sustenance, riches, and power are offered in exchange for disobedience of God and loyalty to himself (one might argue to Satan.) "It's the quality of one's convictions that determines success, not the number of followers" is how it's put elsewhere in the movie. This providential philosophy is how Jesus, the prophets, and all the great martyrs have lived. It's how the great posters on TD have lived and posted as well. For all the stupid spells, gadgets, brooms, and mutant creatures everywhere, Harry Potter is a morality tale about pursuing the good despite the cost.
I enjoyed this movie much more than the other two HP movies I saw. Despite its dark setting and CGI, the characters seemed to matter a little more and the story came together quite well. As the nerds in the theater next to me wept during much of the last thirty minutes of the film, I felt a surge of internal emotion. Not enough to elicit magical tears, but enough to give the movie a positive rating. 7/10
The Hangover II In continuation of the poo-poo-pee-pee-penis-vagina-drugs comedy of the late 90's and 2000's, the Hangover II has succeeded in making a movie of sheer debasement. The entire movie was uncreative, which at least you cannot say for the first one. The makers of this movie were content to do no writing and no significant directing because they knew the American public is stupid enough to pay to see this. I didn't laugh once. The only interesting thing was seeing Bangkok, but Jean Claude Van Damme movies do a better job with cinematography. 1/10
Transformers 3 It was slightly better than the second one, but the story of Omega Prime isn't well told. I think if they had gone a little more in depth with the character of Omega, the movie might have gone somewhere, but Bay knew the public wanted to see bang bang pow pow, transform, die Decepticons! than actually develop a character or a story with any depth. It's a shame because all the animation would have buttressed an interesting story. 3/10
Horrible Bosses When your audience laughs hardest because one of its characters is named MFer, you know you've successfully filled the stomachs of the poo-poo-pee-pee-penis-vagina-drugs crowd. Sometimes I wonder if what passes as comedy today isn't written by 14 year old boys the studios recruit off message boards like the OT.
Jennifer Anniston is a pitiable, aging beauty whose acting career is dying, oh wait, was it ever alive? Jason Bateman is a talented actor, but until he realizes his potential, he'll be stuck scraping the bottom of the cheap seats for cheap minds. 3/10
Bad Teacher I believe I once wrote that Cameron Diaz has passed her sell by date. And that was months ago. Here were are in the summer of 2011 and the date is long passed and all we're left with is mold. Is this woman on drugs? Her face looks it. The premise of this movie is a teacher cheats and steals her way to make money to get fake breasts. The drug/sex humor that some think is "adult humor" creates uncomfortable laughs in the theater because I believe people feel obligated or under some sort of social contract to laugh at such dross. It isn't clever; the story is dumb; the actors crap. 1/10
Larry Crowne You know what, Hanks and Roberts have a real chemistry in this movie, but it's not romantic. It's more like the relationship Hanks has with that toy exec chick in Big. They try to force the romance angle, but it's acute and eventually it closes as a straight line. While I appreciate Hanks' positive, go-get-em attitude, it doesn't come off as very sincere and fails to plumb the depths of human disappointment. Are there people who are so look-on-the-bright-side in this world? Perhaps, but movies about them aren't good theater. 4/10
Everything Must Go Everything that Larry Crowne is not, Everything Must Go is. Here is a man many on TD can relate to: an alcoholic; accused of sexual harassment; left by wife for being a cheater; wandering aimlessly through this life. I picture several OT members specifically, though I will not name them. But you know who you are. The gravitas and soul searching left out by Hanks is filled, surprisingly, by Will Ferrell. Many have said this is Ferrell's Bill Murray breakthrough, showing that he can act more than dufus roles. I'm proud of Ferrell because behind his comic appearances, I think there is a Nick Halsey there. The most warming relationship in the movie is the one he shares with the young kid on the bike. Moments of levity spice the movie when the sadness of loss and despondence weigh heavily. 8/10
Monte Carlo I felt my soul being destroyed by this cooked u,p sentimental life-is-better with-what-you-have snoozer. It's all a crock. The message makes no sense in the movie's backdrop.
How do these girls pretend to be pleased with what they already have? For instance, Selena, she finds happiness after returning to Europe??? How does a five dollar an hour waitress afford to go back to Europe just weeks after her first trip to Europe? And her clothes? Sorry, but when you're making what she does, you're happy to have a place to sleep at night.
The other girl, the one from The Roommate, who by the way is not attractive at all, she lets go of all her pain by traveling around the world for a few months with some ex rugby player who has chicken legs, so unbelievable. How does she afford that? And how is travel throughout the world consistent with be happy with what you have? Does the producer have any clue how expensive it is to do what she did at the end? She's nothing but a hitched Julie Roberts from Eat Pray Love. She'll get tired of her new found boy, have an epiphany, and even though she's in great debt from her college education that she doesn't use for a job, she'll continue to travel.
And that last blonde, the real skanky one who cheats on her boyfriend by going out on date after date in Europe. Do we really buy that it's only through cheating that we find who we truly love? If I were her boyfriend and found those flowers, I would have kicked her skank arse to the curb. Damn whore. So what if that French guy on the boat hadn't been a jerk? Does that mean she would have fallen in love with him?
This movie is a kid's version of Eat Pray Love and totally contradicting to itself. I could have written a better script in 30 minutes. 2/10
Harry Potter (the last one) "'Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.'" So lives the entirety of the Harry Potter series, in my unread, unwatched opinion. All the books are one laywoman's descriptive sermon on Matthew 26. But the series' size and breadth is an elaborate misdirection. Only at the end do we realize what the series is about: the Garden of Gethsemane: coming to realize and face your fate, even if it means sacrificing everything.
In the one tear drops in the bowl scene, all is made known about Harry. I feel I needn't watch or read any of the books because all is peripheral to what is revealed in that bowl. All 20 hours of the film; all thousands of poorly written pages of words. All have been diverting our attention through cheeky wizardry and witchcraft from the heart of the story: Harry is his own foil. Jesus made a similar realization in the desert of temptation where sustenance, riches, and power are offered in exchange for disobedience of God and loyalty to himself (one might argue to Satan.) "It's the quality of one's convictions that determines success, not the number of followers" is how it's put elsewhere in the movie. This providential philosophy is how Jesus, the prophets, and all the great martyrs have lived. It's how the great posters on TD have lived and posted as well. For all the stupid spells, gadgets, brooms, and mutant creatures everywhere, Harry Potter is a morality tale about pursuing the good despite the cost.
I enjoyed this movie much more than the other two HP movies I saw. Despite its dark setting and CGI, the characters seemed to matter a little more and the story came together quite well. As the nerds in the theater next to me wept during much of the last thirty minutes of the film, I felt a surge of internal emotion. Not enough to elicit magical tears, but enough to give the movie a positive rating. 7/10
This post was edited on 7/20/11 at 1:56 pm
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:44 pm to TulaneLSU
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:45 pm to TulaneLSU
oh
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:50 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
Chronicles of Narnia A fun movie that can stand alone. I have never seen the other Narnia movies, but thought this one did a fine job of combining adventure with interesting CGI and a positive morality. The kids are a bit annoying, but the movie builds to a triumphant crescendo. 7/10
Lol
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:54 pm to TulaneLSU
Ok so just how bad was gulliver's travel? I refuse to see it because of Jack Black but did it even come somewhat close to the original story?
Posted on 7/19/11 at 7:54 pm to TulaneLSU
Finally, someone with some class around here giving me good ratings.
Posted on 7/19/11 at 8:00 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
Harry Potter (2nd to last) Like Narnia I'd never seen any of its predecessors. Perhaps had I, I might have understood what was going on. I didn't. From start to finish I was confused and wondered who all these characters were. Fans of this movie obviously had an attachment to Harry before seeing this one because on its own, it is an utter failure. 4/10
Of course you are not going to understand what is going on. This is one of the dumbest things ive ever seen posted about a movie. Did you really expect to get much out of it not having seen the other 6 movies. Its called a series of movies for a reason.
Posted on 7/19/11 at 8:02 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
Burlesque - 3/10
Gulliver's Travels - 0/10
Harry Potter (2nd to last) - 4/10
How Do You Know - 2/10
The Roommate - 1/10
The Mechanic - 3/10
Sanctum - 1/10
Biutiful - 4/10
The Green Hornet - 3/10
Season of the Witch - 5/10
The Company Men - 5/10
Little Fockers - 3/10
The Tourist - 4/10
Take Me Home Tonight - 2/10
Prom - 2/10
Water for Elephants - 2/10
Winnie the Pooh - 0/10
The Green Lantern - 4/10
The Hangover II - 1/10
Transformers 3 - 3/10
Horrible Bosses - 3/10
quote:
do you get paid to watch all these movies?
Let's hope so otherwise he sat through a shitload of bad movies.
This post was edited on 7/19/11 at 8:07 pm
Posted on 7/19/11 at 8:03 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
Harry Potter (2nd to last) Like Narnia I'd never seen any of its predecessors. Perhaps had I, I might have understood what was going on. I didn't. From start to finish I was confused and wondered who all these characters were. Fans of this movie obviously had an attachment to Harry before seeing this one because on its own, it is an utter failure. 4/10
Ridiculous criteria on which to judge a movie.
A movie with a continuing story line should not be viewed negatively because you didn't know who the characters were.
Empire Strikes Back doesn't waste time introducing you to the characters, and neither does Jedi. Why? Because that was explained in the first movie. And to claim that these two movies could stand on their own is ludicrous. They need A New Hope.
HP took six movies to explain the story and get us to the final battle. The seventh and eight movies are about the preparations for the battle and the battle itself. Based on that plot-line, they are good movies. (haven't seen eight yet, but have heard great things from a trusted filmgoer)
Posted on 7/19/11 at 8:04 pm to TulaneLSU
/golf clap
Posted on 7/19/11 at 8:05 pm to magildachunks
That's all well and good, but I think some moviegoers would like to hear the review of the movie from a person who hasn't seen the rest of them. Since seeing the second to last one, I saw another HP film, and my opinion was not changed.
Posted on 7/19/11 at 8:06 pm to TulaneLSU
How did you sit through so many terrible movies?
Posted on 7/19/11 at 8:07 pm to magildachunks
Well, my Harry Potter comment has been covered by the others. If you expect to jump into a series in the 7th movie and know what's going on....well I don't know what to tell you.
And if you think the Coen brothers put in a Bible quote to appeal to a shallow audience....If I had to guess, it's likely because it was in the book.
That's a lot of work though, impressive overall.
And if you think the Coen brothers put in a Bible quote to appeal to a shallow audience....If I had to guess, it's likely because it was in the book.
That's a lot of work though, impressive overall.
This post was edited on 7/19/11 at 8:10 pm
Posted on 7/19/11 at 8:11 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
That's all well and good, but I think some moviegoers would like to hear the review of the movie from a person who hasn't seen the rest of them. Since seeing the second to last one, I saw another HP film, and my opinion was not changed.
You also think seeing the last movie in a series was a good idea. Why? Were you really shocked that you had no idea what was going on?
I haven't read the Dark Tower series, but I wouldn't read the last one and say, "man that was crap! He didn't explain anything about what was going on. How am I supposed to figure it out?"
That would be ridiculous of me.
Posted on 7/19/11 at 8:13 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
That's all well and good, but I think some moviegoers would like to hear the review of the movie from a person who hasn't seen the rest of them. Since seeing the second to last one, I saw another HP film, and my opinion was not changed.
Um, no. Because people are going to see it because they have seen the others.
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