re: Outdoor CSBs

I missed the first one too

wheres he at? ill give him some jack!

that michigan state cheerleader just ate shite!

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that michigan state cheerleader just ate shite!
Wait.....what?

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On the AOL headlines, cheerleader seems to have done a header at a BB game. Ouch.
I don't do links, sorry.

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the way he told (typed) it was phenomenal.

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yes

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thedice20

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thank you

btw, did you delete your email? i've had some bounce back.

As promised, i have typed out the story as truthfully and as accurate as i can remember...

Read my CBS at your own risk.
Sorry so long.


The story begins as most weekends during the 2008 hunting season would begin... Me and my hunting buddy , we shall call him JP, were drinking budlight around a campfire, eating duck bombs, and trying to make a game plan for the Saturday morning hunt. ( Location was in Desoto Parish)

We had been hangin out for a couple hours when he got an unexpected phone call from an acquaintance of his. This person tells JP that his buddy shot a good buck right before dark, he thinks he made a decent hit, but the trail has run dry. My buddy has a good blood dog that has become quite popular in the area, as this dog is extremely succesful in recovering deer. Our expertise were needed.

We, being the cocky expert deer trackers, take on this seemingly easy track job for this guy he barely knows, and head out to meet this guy at a gas station with our blood dog ready to hunt.

December...8:00 pm.. 38-44 degrees

We get in the woods and find last blood and let the dog loose. There were 4 of us tromping through the woods, following the hound and waiting for her to start bawlin.
Before i go any further i will fill you in on some minor, but very important details regarding the items on person, with each individual...

ME: 1 small mini mag flash light, cell phone, one super sharp brand spanking new, never touched a hide, BUCK Schrade knife.

OTHERS: Spotlights, D-CELL mag lights, knives, pistols, cell phones, and radios.

I was more or less just tagging along and gonna help drag the deer out. I was not supposed to be an important part of this track job, mind you.
Fast Forward A few hours... Me and JP had split from the group and gone way ahead of them. The track job was taking longer than expected and these two fat guys could not keep up.

We finally heard the hound cuttin up and we raced to find her. About the time we got caught up the buck broke and run and we never could get close enough to get a shot off.

Winded and tired we rested for about 10 minutes waiting and hoping to hear her start bawlin.
Well as luck would have it, one of the guys called JP about the time she started cuttin up again. Well, i looked at him and said " catch up with me when you get off the phone, i am gonna go run that bastard down"...
This was one of the most crisp, and brightest moonlit nights i had ever seen btw...

11:15 pm

i took off sprintin down this loggin road and cut down off a little hill and headed down towards the dog and deer. I entered a small clearing, and saw the dog had this buck hunkered and bayed up in a small pond . I could tell this pond wasnt deep as both the dog and deer were standing up out in the middle of this pond...

this is the point where the tale began in the last thread.

I sprinted as fast as i could around the pond and ran up to the buck. The buck was hurtin bad cause he was barely fightin off the hound which was jumpin and bitin at him. I could see his intestines hangin out the one side of his body, which explains the piss poor blood trail. Gut shot.. I get up to the deer and he was kinda dodgin and juking me out. I finally got a hold of his horns and reached into my pocket to get my knife to cut its damn throat....To my shock the only thing in my pocket was my phone!!!
Damn knife musta jumped out of my pocket somewhere.
Well with the dog still goin nuts howlin i figure my buddy will be here any second with his pistol to finish this buck off... After about 3-4 minutes with me and the hound hollerin, i figure out he aint getting to me as quick as i had hoped.

Here is where the story gets interesting. Although i am only 5'8 180 lbs, I am a pretty stocky and strong guy, who can throw around some weight. I decide i am going to man handle this 200 lb 7 point buck, take him down and drown him in this mid thigh deep water. I muster some strength and wrestled this buck down. He was still on his back legs but his front legs were kinda folded under him. I put him in a choke hold and put his nose and mouth under water. I kid you not he held fairly still for about 10 seconds before the shite hit the fan. He bucked my skinny arse off of him with a force that i will never ever forget. We locked eyes after i stood back up, and i knew i was going to be in for the fight of my life...I ran back over to him and jumped on him and tackled his arse all the way down. I learned at this point that this deer must have been have been trained by alligators as a took me on a death roll... i held on and once again tried to hold his head under. I kept his head under this time for about 4 seconds. Once again in an eruption of violent strength he threw my arse off and stood back up... With my supreme conditioning and never give up attitude, i figure if i throw him down enough times he will wear out soon enough and i can keep his head under. Well after 2 more times of getting him down, and him throwing my scraggly arse off of him i decided i must go a different route.
This new route that i dreamt up was to snap his neck like Chuck Norris had trained me to in his Delta Force movies... I swear i had that buck's head turned 180 degrees a time or two but he never would act like it hurt him in any way.
At this point I am so pissed off i cant see straight, i got the dog still goin apeshit behind me, i am alone and stranded in the middle of the woods, thigh deep in an ice cold pond, while trying to strangle a deer for a guy i have never met before!It was not fun...
As i was basically resting and bear hugging this buck i felt a pressure in my front pocket of my jacket. One of those zippered pockets on the front of your chest type of pockets. I get to feeling on it and realize it is my damn knife that i thought had fallen out of my pocket! I remembered at that point i did not want it falling out so i put it up there and zipped it up. About this time JP comes runnning up shining a spot light in my eyes and hollering something at me that i could not understand. I dont know why, but seeing the spotlight and all the commotion triggered a fight or flight response. I chose the fight response as i got my knife out and decided to cut this deer's freakin throat. I must have had too much adrenaline, combined with the brand new sharp as hell knife, because i damn near decapitated this deer when i cut his throat.
The beast was dead... Long live the beast...

This fight lasted about 8-10 minutes i would say.. felt more like an hour though...

Without going into the ungrateful bitching and complaining those random guys had about me ruining the buck's cape when i sliced his head off, and leaving them in the dark... i will conclude my story with a few words...

When attempting to drown a wounded deer keep this in mind...

When that deer decides he wants to take another breath of damn air, by God that deer WILL TAKE another breath of GOT DAMN AIR!!!



I hope it was worth the read you arse holes. Now i have to get back to work.

cbs

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thank you

btw, did you delete your email? i've had some bounce back.

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Another funny story....

Well a couple weeks ago in the middle of my yard work i decided to take a break and log onto my yahoo mail while drinking a cold beverageto see what the OB Backchanneling was doing.

In the middle of checking out the nudes i had to shite, so i walked away from the desk and laptop, took a shite and immediately walked outside to continue cutting my back yard.

An hour later i walk back in the house and my fiancee hits me with this statement.
" so what did you think of that whore who cheated on his marine husband?

i was like what!?

She then said, " Who is TH ? And why do you have nude pictures of her!?!

I then tried to explain it ...
To which she said will you delete this account?
Me, broken and embarrassed said , " Yes Dear."

sorry guys, i got in trouble with the fiancee. Take me off the mailing list. Yall got me in trouble.

Dude. That is extremely fricking long story. I did not read