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re: You ever discovered an immediate relative whom you weren't aware of? - Update on Page 6
Posted on 10/14/21 at 5:14 pm to Naked Bootleg
Posted on 10/14/21 at 5:14 pm to Naked Bootleg
I hate to post a wall of text but I'll provide some details read on if you wish.
About 2 years ago I received a phone call from my father. He's rambling on and I'm simply listening sort of while doing another things. I thought I was going to ship myself when after asking me if I remembered this girl said he'd received text messages from a man claiming me as his father. The dude found me through social media none of which I have. All of his facts matched my reality of bedding his mother who was 20 years old at the time. His mother ended up dating a guy 10 years her senior who had two young children of his own. He accepted the reality that she was pregnant. They eventually married and he raised the boy as his own. I was friends with this girl's younger brother which explains how we ended up together. When the boy was about 1 years old I visited my friend (mother's brother) and learned she'd had a kid. The thought NEVER entered my mind that I was the father. The girl's mom also recently gave birth. I recall thinking how odd it would be for this girl to have a one year old son and a two-year-old sister. Little did I know her one-year-old was actually my child.
About 2 years ago I received a phone call from my father. He's rambling on and I'm simply listening sort of while doing another things. I thought I was going to ship myself when after asking me if I remembered this girl said he'd received text messages from a man claiming me as his father. The dude found me through social media none of which I have. All of his facts matched my reality of bedding his mother who was 20 years old at the time. His mother ended up dating a guy 10 years her senior who had two young children of his own. He accepted the reality that she was pregnant. They eventually married and he raised the boy as his own. I was friends with this girl's younger brother which explains how we ended up together. When the boy was about 1 years old I visited my friend (mother's brother) and learned she'd had a kid. The thought NEVER entered my mind that I was the father. The girl's mom also recently gave birth. I recall thinking how odd it would be for this girl to have a one year old son and a two-year-old sister. Little did I know her one-year-old was actually my child.
This post was edited on 10/14/21 at 5:25 pm
1
Posted on 10/14/21 at 5:18 pm to VolunGator
Oh shite! That's close to home man. And messed up with the "he denied you" bullshite. Definite red flags. I get being hesitant. My situation's different in the fact she's a grown adult, on her own two feet. 15 could still be a child support situation.
ETA: oh you said YOU were at age 15. My bad.
ETA: oh you said YOU were at age 15. My bad.
This post was edited on 10/14/21 at 5:19 pm
Posted on 10/14/21 at 5:22 pm to Naked Bootleg
His mom said I denied him.
I didn't even know he existed until he himself has had 3 kids of his own.
I didn't even know he existed until he himself has had 3 kids of his own.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 5:32 pm to Naked Bootleg
This isn’t necessarily in the same vane as the OP, but when my wife and I were getting married, we went through our parents’ list of people they wanted to be invited to the wedding, we noticed the same name on there twice. Neither of us had any idea who the person was, but it did make us a hair nervous about a mutual relation (we’re not in Alabama, so it would be a bit taboo.)
Turns out that my MiL’s first cousin was my mom’s next door neighbor and friend growing up. My mom called him Richard and her mom called him Dick so we never made the association.
ETA: speaking of Dick, this thread made me insanely glad that I kept my dick in my pants till I was with my wife.
Turns out that my MiL’s first cousin was my mom’s next door neighbor and friend growing up. My mom called him Richard and her mom called him Dick so we never made the association.
ETA: speaking of Dick, this thread made me insanely glad that I kept my dick in my pants till I was with my wife.
This post was edited on 10/14/21 at 5:49 pm
Posted on 10/14/21 at 5:44 pm to Naked Bootleg
quote:
And, ugh - the new daughter and stepdaughter's birthdays are the exact same damn day of the year. LOL
So you and your now wife were possibly conceiving children on the same day years ago? I’m sure it’s not exact, but that’s pretty wild
Posted on 10/14/21 at 5:48 pm to VolunGator
Feel free to stay in touch. There really are some serious disadvantages to developing a relationship. Think long and hard. What if this person is mentally ill or develops a mentally illness and subsequently turn your life upside down, inside out? Remember there are two ends on every ruler. Right now I'm leaning toward attempting a relationship. My wife is very hesitant. She thinks it could have a negative impact with our sons.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 5:51 pm to VolunGator
quote:Yeah but the measurement only goes in one direction.
Remember there are two ends on every ruler.
This post was edited on 10/14/21 at 5:51 pm
Posted on 10/14/21 at 5:54 pm to Naked Bootleg
quote:
You ever discovered an immediate relative whom you weren't aware of?
Half sister. We knew it was possible but didn't think we'd ever know who it was. There's a non-obvious explanation but I'm not going to write it up. The explanation is too lengthy.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 5:59 pm to LaLadyinTx
quote:
Because she didn't want her family to know she had a one night stand and didn't even know his whole name? Rape story gives mom sympathy instead of judgment.
I’m glad it’s a female who is explaining this point.
The use of a false rape story to explain pregnancy (or even the fear that they MAY get pregnant, OR even the fear that they will get found out and thought to be a slut) is as old as the hills.
I’m surprised so many posters failed to see that possibility and had to have it explained to them.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 6:01 pm to Jimbeaux
quote:It's like people never heard of Mary.
I’m glad it’s a female who is explaining this point.
The use of a false rape story to explain pregnancy (or even the fear that they MAY get pregnant, OR even the fear that they will get found out and thought to be a slut) is as old as the hills.
I’m surprised so many posters failed to see that possibility and had to have it explained to them.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 6:04 pm to jchamil
quote:
So you and your now wife were possibly conceiving children on the same day years ago?
No - the new daughter and my stepson are same age. The new daughter and my stepdaughter are the same b-day, but 12 years apart in age.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 6:06 pm to aTmTexas Dillo
quote:
Half sister. We knew it was possible but didn't think we'd ever know who it was. There's a non-obvious explanation but I'm not going to write it up. The explanation is too lengthy.
Your mom went missing for a month, claiming she got lost in the woods, but actually was on a coke bender in Vegas with some dude named Ricky. Meanwhile, your dad had a fling with Heather, your babysitter, who was the 19 year old daughter of a neighbor. The neighbor moved away suddenly around the time that your mom came home, and the rumor from the neighborhood was that Heather was looking strangely kinda thick in the middle before they left town.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 6:08 pm to VolunGator
quote:
Feel free to stay in touch.
Totally understand on the what-ifs you mentioned: mental illness, etc. Also him & his family looking for a payout is a concern.
I can't DM so let me tell you a couple critical things I learned with the counselor:
- First of all, you & your wife MUST be on the same page. If you want to reach out to him, you must have your wife on board with the idea first. Don't do anything without telling her.
- Go slow. It's easy to feel like you can suddenly go fast, but that creates problems. Set boundaries for yourself ahead of time.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 7:08 pm to Naked Bootleg
quote:
That's the guilt I try to accept. I got her pregnant and she had no idea how to get ahold of me. Probably didn't even remember my last name.
Not to be a party pooper, but be careful of the potential risks here. “Mom” might have told her parents the guy at the campground raped me. Just a lot of potential downside. I doubt she told her parents it was consensual and then y’all’s daughter it was rape. You might have a cold case tucked out there somewhere. Seriously.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 7:13 pm to Meauxjeaux
Brother believe me I have mulled this possibility over, six ways to Sunday
Posted on 10/14/21 at 7:16 pm to Naked Bootleg
quote:
Brother believe me I have mulled this possibility over, six ways to Sunday
Me too.
My wife and are joking about our situations over beer and pizza right now.
Posted on 10/14/21 at 7:28 pm to Naked Bootleg
quote:
but I was stunned to learn I have a 30 year old daughter.
Yeaaaa frick THAT. I am terrified of this for good reason.
This post was edited on 10/15/21 at 11:20 am
Posted on 10/14/21 at 7:33 pm to Naked Bootleg
quote:
Brother believe me I have mulled this possibility over, six ways to Sunday
Cops would have found y'all if she filed police report for rape. First thing they would have pulled is every person registered at the camp that weekend.
This post was edited on 10/14/21 at 7:34 pm
Posted on 10/14/21 at 7:34 pm to Naked Bootleg
My wife was adopted and at 50 yrs decided she wanted to learn about her heritage. We got her an ancestry kit and sent it off.
To our surprise, the report came back with DNA relatives. She immediately showed a first cousin match. My wife was more surprised by the fact she was 99% Eastern European when she had always thought she was Irish. She was born in Mass and its fair skinned with dark hair and green eyes.
Long story short, the bio mom was identified in 1 day. The dad was a mystery. The closest relative was a 2nd cousin. I keep working it and identified the bio dad.
Turns out he and the bio mother dated all in high school and married after college. They also had a daughter 8 years after my wife was born. My wife has full sister!
The connection has been nothing short of outstanding. They are thick as thieves and are now best friends. The bio mom is not thrilled about her secret getting out but sees the blessing too.
God is in the business of families. This girl is your family. Enjoy the journey! It will be emotional and hard at times, but so worth it.
Congrats!!!!
To our surprise, the report came back with DNA relatives. She immediately showed a first cousin match. My wife was more surprised by the fact she was 99% Eastern European when she had always thought she was Irish. She was born in Mass and its fair skinned with dark hair and green eyes.
Long story short, the bio mom was identified in 1 day. The dad was a mystery. The closest relative was a 2nd cousin. I keep working it and identified the bio dad.
Turns out he and the bio mother dated all in high school and married after college. They also had a daughter 8 years after my wife was born. My wife has full sister!
The connection has been nothing short of outstanding. They are thick as thieves and are now best friends. The bio mom is not thrilled about her secret getting out but sees the blessing too.
God is in the business of families. This girl is your family. Enjoy the journey! It will be emotional and hard at times, but so worth it.
Congrats!!!!
Posted on 10/14/21 at 7:35 pm to terriblegreen
Has your coworker ever heard of a hotel?
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