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Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:13 pm to Sody Cracker
I'll take that number
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:18 pm to jchamil
No shite. One of my friends met his current wife on tinder. Another is about to propose to a girl he met on there. I got the app, but I only get fat chicks. I don't get it.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:19 pm to WiredBobcat
Had a date with a chick from New Iberia, she said that she wanted to eat a good steak then proceeded to recommend Chili's... I was in awe
Positive Sidenote... I was out of there for around 50 bucks
Walked her to her car and I was out
Positive Sidenote... I was out of there for around 50 bucks
Walked her to her car and I was out
This post was edited on 6/28/17 at 10:37 pm
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:22 pm to gplayerjr
Had a girl throw up on me...
I think that was a pretty horrible date, we went and ate at the Cheesecake Factory and then went out for drinks. Well she had one too many I guess and when we were walking back to my car she just started. Once she started I never thought she would stop, went all over my shoes, in her hair, on her pants.
I had to drive from Baton Rouge to Zachary with her in my car and smelling like puke. Then when I got her home, I helped her out of the car and walked her to the door. She wanted a good night kiss, hell I didn't even want to hug her.
I think that was a pretty horrible date, we went and ate at the Cheesecake Factory and then went out for drinks. Well she had one too many I guess and when we were walking back to my car she just started. Once she started I never thought she would stop, went all over my shoes, in her hair, on her pants.
I had to drive from Baton Rouge to Zachary with her in my car and smelling like puke. Then when I got her home, I helped her out of the car and walked her to the door. She wanted a good night kiss, hell I didn't even want to hug her.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:28 pm to WiredBobcat
quote:
Nah, the movie was the only time she didn't talk about her ex. She lived way out in Folsom, I drove from Mandeville to pick her up and then to the movies in Slidell. Long enough for her to tell me every detail of her failed relationship with that dude.
Movies 6 or 8? Or are you a youngin?
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:32 pm to Pecker
quote:
remember leaning against the bar, putting my hand under my chin and just staring at her
Creepy
Posted on 6/28/17 at 10:57 pm to WiredBobcat
A little over a month ago I met this woman online. She was 36 and still looked good. Profile said no kids which is hard to find around me. We chatted and decided to meet. I usually do something like Starbucks. Good atmosphere and place closes semi-early so I can bail pretty easily. Anyways, we meet and everything is going fine. At one point she mentions having a kid. I'm on high alert at this point and I am getting suspicion like black people. Talking for a little while longer and all of a sudden we are up to three kids! Now I'm looking like this
trying to figure out how we went from zero kids, to one kid, to three kids. I'm getting towards the end of my coffee and told her I had to work in the morning so I'm figuring I'm good. I get a call from my condo manager in Orange Beach. She makes a comment about how that must be my get away call. I tell her about someone stealing my vacuum at Hangout Fest and that's what the call was about. I get back from the call and she starts asking me about the condo. Next thing I know, she is planning me taking her and her three kids to the beach for a weekend. I downed my coffee, got on out, never called her back.
trying to figure out how we went from zero kids, to one kid, to three kids. I'm getting towards the end of my coffee and told her I had to work in the morning so I'm figuring I'm good. I get a call from my condo manager in Orange Beach. She makes a comment about how that must be my get away call. I tell her about someone stealing my vacuum at Hangout Fest and that's what the call was about. I get back from the call and she starts asking me about the condo. Next thing I know, she is planning me taking her and her three kids to the beach for a weekend. I downed my coffee, got on out, never called her back.
Posted on 6/28/17 at 11:41 pm to TheFonz
quote:
I hooked up with a hot chick I met in a bar and before it was all said and done, I woke up the next morning in a bathtub full of ice at the Ten Flags Motel with one less kidney.
Fewer, you dumb shite.
Posted on 6/29/17 at 12:22 am to WiredBobcat
I did the online dating about 10 years ago. One of the girls I talked to had a decent profile, not bad looking, no kids, was building her legal business. So after several messages that went well we exchanged numbers. Talked on the phone once, nice girl, but kind of just rambled on and on. Still, thought she may have been nervous so no deal breaker. Made plans to meet for supper one night. Meet her at the restaurant, this girl's in her 30s but is already rockin a Cajun high and tight, looks like Peggy Hill's twin sister. She definitely didn't have any pictures of that hair do in her profile. As the night goes on she's rambling non stop again, turns out her legal business is her trying to sell pre-paid legal services to people in line at the grocery store. So I'm already like wtf did I get myself in to. So I ask her how she got into that and she explains that her old team leader at Amway introduced her to it, grreeeaaaatt. So then I asker how that's all going and she tells me she's not making much money with it yet so she's supplementing her income by slinging meat pies at the Northgate mall, Niiiiiiiice. I couldn't eat fast enough, paid the bill, got her out of there, walked her to her car, was going to tell her on the spot that this wasn't going to work, but there was a bench in front of her car with some teenagers sitting on it, naturally they start heckling me while I'm trying to get rid of this chick so I just gave her a hug and told her I'd call her. Then every time I called her she was with a friend and I couldn't get a word in anyway so I finally email dumped her. She actually replied with a thank you, said I was the first one that didn't just disappear, haha!
Posted on 6/29/17 at 12:27 am to CelticDog
quote:
Ended up pissing the bed with me in it.
quote:
You win worst date.
unless he is into that type of thing
Posted on 6/29/17 at 6:11 am to LG2BAMA
quote:
Ended up pissing the bed with me in it..
The ole bed pisser type!
I don't think I've ever been on anything I'd consider a date in my life. Mostly hanging out in a bar or at a party. No going grab dinner or anything. Met my wife and that was that.
But, I do have a small addition to the thread. Had a summer where I had a broken jaw from a car accident. Wired shut for 6 weeks. There was this group of girls we knew. One of them had a friend come in from out of town. Super trashy, but not repulsively ugly. She was into me even though you could not understand a thing I said in a bar. Was my chance to hook up with my jaw wired shut. We get back to our apt. and she proceedes to pull out cigarettes......hand rolled
. The hookup (if you can call it that) was awful and didn't really go anywhere if I remember right. I wake up to a wet bed. Bitch pissed the bed. I go shower and sleep on the couch downstairs. She steals a shirt and doesn't even mention the bed pissing even though she took off the sheets. She just walks out the door when her friend comes get her. Had to buy a new mattress. Knew it wouldn't be good going in, but with the jaw wired shut, it was a goal to hookup. It wasn't worth it. Was fun to tell her friends how it went though This post was edited on 6/29/17 at 6:39 am
Posted on 6/29/17 at 8:25 am to WiredBobcat
One of the first dates after getting divorced
Talked for a few days set up a date night at her house
Seemed like a good score
Attractive Petite ER Nurse good job seemed pretty stable
I show up she's actually hotter in person than her pics
Small talk for a few hours
Then she starts in on being very very religious
I'm thinking well there goes me getting lucky tonight
This goes on for a while talking about how much she goes to church and bible study etc.
Then she slips in a "But sometimes I'm just a bad girl!"
I'm thinking O really?? I ask what she means
She tells me that she likes to be choked, beaten, tied up, and pretend raped.
She starts getting undressed and asks if I want to choke her and pretend rape her.
I finished my drink and bolted. I could just see me trying to explain that to the cops when they show up at my door. But officer she really wanted and asked for it.
Talked for a few days set up a date night at her house
Seemed like a good score
Attractive Petite ER Nurse good job seemed pretty stable
I show up she's actually hotter in person than her pics
Small talk for a few hours
Then she starts in on being very very religious
I'm thinking well there goes me getting lucky tonight
This goes on for a while talking about how much she goes to church and bible study etc.
Then she slips in a "But sometimes I'm just a bad girl!"
I'm thinking O really?? I ask what she means
She tells me that she likes to be choked, beaten, tied up, and pretend raped.
She starts getting undressed and asks if I want to choke her and pretend rape her.
I finished my drink and bolted. I could just see me trying to explain that to the cops when they show up at my door. But officer she really wanted and asked for it.
This post was edited on 6/29/17 at 9:09 am
Posted on 6/29/17 at 8:52 am to sigsauer
quote:
One of the first dates after getting divorced
Talked for a few days set up a date night at her house
Seemed like a good score
Attractive Petite ER Nurse good job seemed pretty stable
I show up she's actually hotter in person than her pics
Small talk for a few hours
Then she starts in on being very very religious
I'm thinking we'll there goes me getting lucky tonight
This goes on for awhile talking about how much she goes to church and bible study etc.
Then she slips in a "But sometimes I'm just a bad girl!"
I'm thinking O really?? I ask what she means
She tells me that she likes to be choked, beaten, tied up, and pretend raped.
She starts getting undressed and asks if I want to choke her and pretend rape her.
I finished my drink and bolted. I could just see me trying to explain that to the cops when they show up at my door. But officer she really wanted and asked for it.
I believe I would have drawn up some form of a consent form and had her sign. "No officer I have a signed contract stating she want me to choke, beat and pretend to assault her, and I will now be suing for breach of contract."
I believe Dave Chappell had a skit about something similar.
Posted on 6/29/17 at 8:55 am to tigersownall
quote:
No shite. One of my friends met his current wife on tinder. Another is about to propose to a girl he met on there. I got the app, but I only get fat chicks. I don't get it.
You are probably fat or ugly or both.
Posted on 6/29/17 at 8:55 am to sigsauer
quote:
Attractive Petite ER Nurse good job seemed pretty stable
Serious question. Are you a tradesman like a carpenter, plumber, electrician, etc.? I knew a girl that fits the description you gave.
She bought a house and wanted it renovated. She would bang the hell out of guys she wanted to work on her home. When the work of the carpenter was done, she would dump him and move to the plumber, etc.
She was an OT 6, IRL 8, with short black hair. Petite.
Posted on 6/29/17 at 9:01 am to Hangit
Hell if that was the case, as the tradesmen, I would have done some minor mistake that kept me coming back every 2-3 weeks.
Posted on 6/29/17 at 9:03 am to Hangit
No I'm not Hangit but that sounds like she had a pretty good plan on getting a house renovated on the cheap.
Posted on 6/29/17 at 9:16 am to Ellis Dee
quote:
My date paid for her share and stormed out of there.
Serves her right, even if you don't want to be there and know nothing will ever come of it, common courtesy says be nice and then bail.
Posted on 6/29/17 at 9:23 am to WiredBobcat
This story is about the year 1999, when Brillini was just a young 21 year old.
Sober Brillini has always been a fairly mild mannered, maybe even polite to a fault kinda guy, some might say "Beta", but I usually spent enough time in the gym to avoid that rep.
Drunk Brillini gave zero fricks, and can and will say or do anything to get laid, chasing down any lead to the end of the Earth if need be. This particular feature of drunkenness kicks in far earlier than slurring, stumbling, or failing to get it up. So in fact, Drunk Brillini can seem quite normal for a wide range of BAC.
So it was 1999 and I came home on leave to visit my parents. As usual, my parents went to bed at 9PM and I headed to the bar. A handful of beers and a few free shots in, I start talking and playing darts with this girl, an OT 5 who seemed about the only available target in the bar. I asked her what she was doing here, and she says she was bored because she just got out of prison and had nothing better to do.
Sober me would quite clearly identify this as a red flag and (politely) finish the game of darts and say "nice to meet you" and move on.
Drunk me quite clearly identified that she could use a hunk of man meat, and that I was just the one that could give it to her. All I had to do was act normal and play it off while she talks about her time in the big house (Turns out, she stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife and did about 6 months, not that something like that should be a red flag).
We finish the game of darts and she wanted to go meet up at Denny's with her old friends, as that was their Saturday night hangout. So we go to Denny's and now I see that she was the "pretty" and "mostly normal" looking one among her friends, and I'm the clean shaven guy she randomly brought into the place. I felt awkward, but I was enjoying my strawberry milkshake and under-the-table hand job so I went with it. We then go out back and have some fun in the parking lot and I head back to my parents house.
Apparently, at some point in time I gave her my contact information. This wouldn't have been too much of an issue a few years later, but this was still the 1990's and I didn't have a cell phone....so apparently my dumb a** gave her my parents house phone number. So she calls me the next day at my parents house and asked me out.
I was sober and therefore too polite to say no (and in the back of my mind I'm worried that she might find out where my parents live and do something crazy). So I went out with her (as sober me) and proceeded to have the most awkward date at TGI Friday's.
Sober Brillini has always been a fairly mild mannered, maybe even polite to a fault kinda guy, some might say "Beta", but I usually spent enough time in the gym to avoid that rep.
Drunk Brillini gave zero fricks, and can and will say or do anything to get laid, chasing down any lead to the end of the Earth if need be. This particular feature of drunkenness kicks in far earlier than slurring, stumbling, or failing to get it up. So in fact, Drunk Brillini can seem quite normal for a wide range of BAC.
So it was 1999 and I came home on leave to visit my parents. As usual, my parents went to bed at 9PM and I headed to the bar. A handful of beers and a few free shots in, I start talking and playing darts with this girl, an OT 5 who seemed about the only available target in the bar. I asked her what she was doing here, and she says she was bored because she just got out of prison and had nothing better to do.
Sober me would quite clearly identify this as a red flag and (politely) finish the game of darts and say "nice to meet you" and move on.
Drunk me quite clearly identified that she could use a hunk of man meat, and that I was just the one that could give it to her. All I had to do was act normal and play it off while she talks about her time in the big house (Turns out, she stabbed her husband with a kitchen knife and did about 6 months, not that something like that should be a red flag).
We finish the game of darts and she wanted to go meet up at Denny's with her old friends, as that was their Saturday night hangout. So we go to Denny's and now I see that she was the "pretty" and "mostly normal" looking one among her friends, and I'm the clean shaven guy she randomly brought into the place. I felt awkward, but I was enjoying my strawberry milkshake and under-the-table hand job so I went with it. We then go out back and have some fun in the parking lot and I head back to my parents house.
Apparently, at some point in time I gave her my contact information. This wouldn't have been too much of an issue a few years later, but this was still the 1990's and I didn't have a cell phone....so apparently my dumb a** gave her my parents house phone number. So she calls me the next day at my parents house and asked me out.
I was sober and therefore too polite to say no (and in the back of my mind I'm worried that she might find out where my parents live and do something crazy). So I went out with her (as sober me) and proceeded to have the most awkward date at TGI Friday's.
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