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re: Which animal would you fight?

Posted on 7/22/21 at 7:56 am to
Posted by Penrod
Member since Jan 2011
39262 posts
Posted on 7/22/21 at 7:56 am to
I would choose the bear even though the chances of survival are almost zero. By charging it, as it is charging me, I might be able to ram that machete far enough into its chest to disable it before it annihilates me. This would be a much easier choice if I had a spear or even a sword.

The shark would be my third choice. If the water was clear I might be able to see it coming, square it up, and jab that knife into its snout. Maybe that would scare it off?

A tiger is so much quicker than a man that I doubt I could even bring the hatchet to bear. No chance at all here.

The pack of hyenas is the worst choice of all. Three hyenas can easily beat a lion. They are skilled at surrounding their prey and attacking from behind. Like the tiger situation, the spear would never even touch a hyena.

The chimp would be my second choice. There is a decent chance it would not engage me if it was all alone. I might be able to bluff it by picking up a branch or something and pretending to be bigger than I am.

Posted by Penrod
Member since Jan 2011
39262 posts
Posted on 7/22/21 at 8:00 am to
quote:

I would do more to you than any of those animals and laugh my arse off doing it…… first I would beat the shite out of you then I would tie you naked to a tree and the get a real fine woman to suck you off and get you hard and then put a one way barb up your pecker. And then I would grab some honey and spread it all over your sack and of course throw a shovel full of fire ants on top of said honey… all the while I’m laughing my arse off…


Promise?
Posted by Powerman
Member since Jan 2004
162219 posts
Posted on 7/22/21 at 8:02 am to
quote:

Sharks aren't animals.

They are fish.
Posted by Penrod
Member since Jan 2011
39262 posts
Posted on 7/22/21 at 8:12 am to
quote:

Tiger in the forest. All day.

If I can get up a tree I'll fight it off with a hatchet.


The Tiger would shoot up that tree faster than Usain Bolt can run. It would disarm you without being touched by the hatchet blade. Tigers are so much quicker than men that it would come to rest five feet from you, then leap on you without you even beginning the hatchet stroke - even up in a tree.
Posted by Penrod
Member since Jan 2011
39262 posts
Posted on 7/22/21 at 8:17 am to
quote:

I like this approach but i want to use the hatchet to make some extra weapons while im up the tree. Is that allowed?


This is my new answer! Good point. Haul arse up a tree, cut a branch, make a spear and use it to keep the tiger from coming out on the limb to get you.
Posted by Solo Cam
Member since Sep 2015
32632 posts
Posted on 7/22/21 at 9:23 am to
quote:

The chimp would be my second choice. There is a decent chance it would not engage me if it was all alone. I might be able to bluff it by picking up a branch or something and pretending to be bigger than I am.
No branches.

Cage match and he’s pissed. Essentially you’re only chance is to injure it.

I threw that one in because I thought people would go for it but that’s my last choice honestyl.

I would go shark first and if I can stab it in the nose which is extremely sensitive I think it’ll back off. But 4” ain’t shite man.
Posted by SECSolomonGrundy
Slaughter Swamp
Member since Jun 2012
15874 posts
Posted on 7/22/21 at 12:26 pm to
I also want to make fire in every scenario possible. I think the hatchet gives me a good chance of getting one started. All those dumb arse animals are scared of fire.
This post was edited on 7/22/21 at 12:28 pm
Posted by Solo Cam
Member since Sep 2015
32632 posts
Posted on 7/22/21 at 7:44 pm to
quote:

Worst would be the shark - you're not doing shite in the water with a 4" knife.

You ever seen a chimp attack victim?

They’re extremely consistent

First they try to disable you- they bite your fingers off and then rip your eyes out.

Next they rip off your nose and feet then they always, always rip off dick and balls.

Imagine sitting there blind, no fingers, your dick and balls are gone, your feet are bloody stumps and you can just hear this motherfricker right around you breathing and beating the ground.

That or burning alive are my worst fears
Posted by Solo Cam
Member since Sep 2015
32632 posts
Posted on 7/22/21 at 7:45 pm to
quote:

I also want to make fire in every scenario possible. I think the hatchet gives me a good chance of getting one started. All those dumb arse animals are scared of fire.
Yoh have no clue how fast these animals are.

Maybe the hyena situation but the others you dont even stand a chance with a Lighter of getting a fire going
Posted by sweetwaterbilly
Member since Mar 2017
19351 posts
Posted on 7/22/21 at 7:48 pm to
I think the only one you could potentially survive is the shark- stab him in the head before he gets a chunk of you
Posted by Solo Cam
Member since Sep 2015
32632 posts
Posted on 7/22/21 at 8:12 pm to
quote:

I think the only one you could potentially survive is the shark- stab him in the head before he gets a chunk of you

Agreed. They’re noses are extremely sensitive so you have to drill him.

The issue is you’re talking about stabbing a 20’ fish that weights 2000 lbs moving at 35 mph in the water with a 4” blade

I think your only chance would be the tiger or the shark but it’s such a small chance that if you miss you’re done for immediately

Shark takes a huge chunk out of you and then you bleed out or that tiger sinks in his claws and drives his fangs into your jugular
This post was edited on 7/22/21 at 8:14 pm
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