I'd say congratulations and take a chance she is not ashamed about her condition. You could also ask her if she knows if it will be a boy or girl and if she has chosen a name yet. Depending on the situation, you might tell her how proud of her you are to take on the responsibility of motherhood on her own. She had options that would have been tragic for her baby and chose to not take them, so she does show maturity for that decision. If she wanted to talk to someone, you could put her into contact with one of the many groups who would help locate folks who were unable to conceive and desperate to adopt.

It would not be wise to ask if she knows who the baby daddy is, or what flavor it is. Those are not socially acceptable questions.

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Posted by boudinman

Member since Nov 2019

5042 posts

Posted on 12/4/19 at 11:14 am to Joe Burrow for the W

Maybe she practiced birth control and it failed, because nothing but abstinence is 100% effective. Why should birth control usage be totally be up to the woman, the young man could have worn some protection and maybe he did but it broke. Unless you're the father of her child, then why should you be worried about her pregnancy. Say congrats or nothing at all. Everyone makes mistakes in life, just some are bigger than others.

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Posted by georgia

445

Member since Jan 2007

9104 posts

Posted on 12/4/19 at 2:54 pm to Joe Burrow for the W

quote:
what was people’s reactions to finding out? Did you get the congrats!! Or was it awkward silence

Some of both. it was 2000 though, things weren't as easily accepted as they are now, so yeah, I got a fair amount of judgment. I also got a fair amount of support. 18 years later I can say I appreciated both. I thought my life was over, and I thought that I had ruined the reputation of my parents. The support helped me to know who I could trust to talk to when I was stressed. the judgment made me mad enough to do whatever I needed to do to succeed.
as to which of those people YOU choose to be, well, I have a great kid and life that I'm happy with, and the judgy assholes are still mostly judgy assholes. so that's on you.