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re: There are bad days and terrible days; 2 year old dead after being left in a car
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:13 am to slackster
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:13 am to slackster
quote:
I think that is sort of the point though. The slightest change in a routine can have you mentally screwed up, so as your mind rushes to get back to the routine, it may put you further along that you anticipated.
I've answered phone calls on Bluetooth and driven past my exit before. There is a sharp turn near my house and sometimes I subconsciously turn my blinker on despite the road only going one way. Things like that are pretty crazy in hindsight, because very little of it is conscious decision-making, but they do happen.
I've had these moments as well, but I've always realized them shortly after. Hell, I drove past my road this morning jamming to a tune. What some people seem to be glossing over is she didn't realize this until the end of the day? I'm calling bullshite.
2
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:16 am to Lokistale
quote:
could not imagine the guilt that this mom is going to carry...
Me either, and just reading your post basically ruined the next few hours of my day, so let me return the favor.
Wednesday morning there was an accident in New Iberia involving two teenagers. They were pulling out of their subdivision and failed to yield at a stop sign and they were hit by a vehicle on the driver's side. They were 18 and 16 years old - two brothers - and they both died from their injuries. The 18-year old was a senior and graduation for his high school was Wednesday night. It was and is an awful, awful situation.
As a parent I think I'd have to sell my home and move immediately. Every time you leave your subdivision you'll drive past the stop sign where your two children were killed. I cannot even fathom that type of pain.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:17 am to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
I'm calling bullshite.
To be honest, I hope you're right. The child is dead regardless, but as a parent, it is slightly more comforting to think that it was intentional, because these things happening on accident are absolutely terrifying.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:20 am to RogerTheShrubber
I don't have this autopilot. It is very tiring.
I cannot imagine being in her position. I'd blow my brains out.
Edit: to remove the misplaced ??.
I cannot imagine being in her position. I'd blow my brains out.
Edit: to remove the misplaced ??.
This post was edited on 5/13/16 at 2:35 pm
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:24 am to slackster
quote:
Wednesday morning there was an accident in New Iberia involving two teenagers.
Yeah, the two brothers dying is terrible, but at least the deaths was by their actions... regardless of fault...
However, the 2 y.o. little girl did nothing. She did not wondered into a busy street, entered an unattended pool, or played with a loaded handgun... Thus, the entire weight of responsibility and guilt rest solely with the mom...
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:32 am to SlowFlowPro
I've raised 4 children and simply can't fathom how shite like this happens. I've been throw out of my routines , leave my cell phone constantly at home and can't remember if I closed the garage door. My children however not once have I ever forgotten one.
One thing that doesn't add up is that the child was 2, anyone with a toddler knows they ain't exactly quiet when awake. How did she not know?? I guess i'll never understand the severe absent mindedness or straight all around shitasticalness of some people in this world..
One thing that doesn't add up is that the child was 2, anyone with a toddler knows they ain't exactly quiet when awake. How did she not know?? I guess i'll never understand the severe absent mindedness or straight all around shitasticalness of some people in this world..
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:42 am to TSLG
quote:
I don't have this autopilot. It is very tiring. ??
According to some in this thread it's euphoria, you can forget all your personal responsibilities, including being a parent and keeping up with your kid.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:42 am to Lokistale
quote:
Thus, the entire weight of responsibility and guilt rest solely with the mom...
Oh, I understand that completely, I'm just trying to return the sadness you brought me with your post.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:43 am to Rhino5
quote:
According to some in this thread it's euphoria, you can forget all your personal responsibilities, including being a parent and keeping up with your kid.
Come on man, no one has stated it is OK or acceptable, but to act like it is impossible is equally ridiculous.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:49 am to slackster
Alright. Will wait until after investigation, until then we're all speculating.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:51 am to Rhino5
this board annually has the same arse fricking threads year in year out.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:53 am to slackster
Have you ever forgotten to go to work? I doubt it. Might get days screwed up but i imagine you think its ludicrous to think forgetting work is a posibilty because the penalty is severe. Its unthinkable. Now, forgetting not only to take a kid to daycare but not seeing the child in your mirror on the way to work, getting out of the vehicle and not remembering all day long is thinkable?
Im calling bullshite on this story. The penalty for not realizing this until too late is too severe
Im calling bullshite on this story. The penalty for not realizing this until too late is too severe
Posted on 5/13/16 at 11:56 am to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
Have you ever forgotten to go to work? I doubt it
Dropping a kid off at daycare is an errand in this context. You may be completely right that it is BS and criminal, but I THINK I can understand how this can happen. I have kids, young kids, so this hits home, but I can still see how something this terrible can happen.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 12:00 pm to slackster
quote:
Dropping a kid off at daycare is an errand in this context
Wut? There are hierarchies in life and the protection of your kids is number one. I know where mine are 100% of the time. Its not an errend, its the most important part of your routine. An errend is picking up dry cleaning
Posted on 5/13/16 at 12:04 pm to slackster
quote:
no one has stated it is OK or acceptable, but to act like it is impossible is equally ridiculous.
This type of tragedy is possible, but it is also inexcusable.
All this talk about routine and distraction is fine if you missed a turn or leave your phone in the car, but not your child...
We all have priorities, some ranked higher than others based on their importance: We almost never go to work and forgot to wear pants, thus higher priority. We could frequently go grocery shopping and forget an item, thus lower priority.
I would guess that your child ranks much higher than your pants, so leaving your child in the car is definitely not like missing a turn. The two situations are not comparable, while you can use routine and distraction as excuses for missing a turn, you cannot use to same reasoning for leaving your child in the car.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 12:12 pm to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
Its not an errend, its the most important part of your routine. An errend is picking up dry cleaning
It is equivalent to an errand in the sense that it may take up 5 minutes out of your entire morning routine. It is a task that needs to be complete in order to get the majority of your day started.
I agree with everything you've said about priorities and where your kids rank, but I also think some of you are being a bit unrealistic with all of this talk about knowing where they are 100% of the time too. The best parents in the world have momentary lapses. Unfortunately, sometimes in those lapses accidents happen.
It is depressing as hell, but there are stories all the time about one momentary lapse that results in the death of a child. We're all trying to do right by our kids, but we're also human.
When my children grow up and enter into adulthood, I think I'll look back and be eternally thankful that nothing happened in those momentary lapses. I won't look back and pat myself on the shoulder for being a better parent than others. I think that is simply naïve. There are terrible parents, don't get me wrong, but sometimes the difference in raising your child is pure luck.
My kid has fallen off of the couch before - something that happens to all of us with kids. Nothing happened to her and she didn't even cry, but if her head would have tilted a different way and she broke her neck, does that all of a sudden make me a bad parent?
I know that is a far cry from the story in the OP, but the point remains - bad things can happen to good people.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 12:16 pm to slackster
quote:
It is equivalent to an errand in the sense that it may take up 5 minutes out of your entire morning routine
C'mon man. An errend is the opposite of routine. What happened here reeks of bullshite. Not only because she forgot to stop at daycare, but she went through the entire day
Posted on 5/13/16 at 12:16 pm to slackster
quote:
Dropping a kid off at daycare is an errand in this context.
Hopefully that "errand" receives a little more thought than taking a shite or paying the light bill.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 12:18 pm to slackster
quote:
Nothing happened to her and she didn't even cry, but if her head would have tilted a different way and she broke her neck, does that all of a sudden make me a bad parent?
Falling happens in seconds, sitting at work for 8 hours while the kid is dying of heat stroke is different.
Posted on 5/13/16 at 12:19 pm to Lokistale
quote:
We all have priorities, some ranked higher than others based on their importance: We almost never go to work and forgot to wear pants, thus higher priority. We could frequently go grocery shopping and forget an item, thus lower priority.
Sure, but there is also a level of exposure/visibility that is important to note. This entire conversation is about subconscious decisions and actions, so to apply conscious, rational thought to it is useless.
I'm a parent of two young children, and I've never been in a situation that even resembles the story in the OP, nor can I possibly imagine forgetting my children, but I don't think it is impossible for this to happen unintentionally either. I think it is disingenuous to criticize a parent for not putting their kid 1st 100% of the time when there isn't a parent in the world that can say the same. The difference is that 99.9999% of the time nothing happens to your kids or my kids when we have that momentary lapse.
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