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Started By
Message
Tell me your favorite joke and I will laugh.
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:42 pm
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:42 pm
My boss told my to dress for the job I want. How do I dress for a blowjob?
28
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:43 pm to CapitalCityDevil
frick you
The end
now laugh
The end
now laugh
This post was edited on 12/10/14 at 4:44 pm
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:45 pm to CapitalCityDevil
quote:
How do I dress for a blowjob?
wear some kneepads
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:46 pm to CapitalCityDevil
I am 25 and my sight is getting worse and worse.
When do I get adult supervision?
When do I get adult supervision?
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:46 pm to CapitalCityDevil
But now all is to be changed. All the pleasing illusions, which made power gentle and obedience liberal, which harmonized the different shades of life, and which, by a bland assimilation, incorporated into politics the sentiments which beautify and soften private society, are to be dissolved by this new conquering empire of light and reason. All the decent drapery of life is to be rudely torn off. All the superadded ideas, furnished from the wardrobe of a moral imagination, which the heart owns, and the understanding ratifies, as necessary to cover the defects of our naked, shivering nature, and to raise it to dignity in our own estimation, are to be exploded as a ridiculous, absurd, and antiquated fashion.
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:47 pm to CapitalCityDevil
Vampire walks into a bar, orders a cup of blood. Pays $4, takes his cup of blood and takes a seat in a booth.
Another vampire walks into the same bar and orders a cup of blood. Same routine, pays $4, thanks the barkeep and takes a seat in a booth.
Third vampire walks in and orders a cup of water. Barkeep looks confused, asks him if he meant blood. The vampire says no. Barkeep gets a little irate and reminds the man that he's a goddamned vampire and he's supposed to drink blood in his bar. At this point the vampire pulls out a used tampon and replies: "I'm making tea".
Another vampire walks into the same bar and orders a cup of blood. Same routine, pays $4, thanks the barkeep and takes a seat in a booth.
Third vampire walks in and orders a cup of water. Barkeep looks confused, asks him if he meant blood. The vampire says no. Barkeep gets a little irate and reminds the man that he's a goddamned vampire and he's supposed to drink blood in his bar. At this point the vampire pulls out a used tampon and replies: "I'm making tea".
This post was edited on 12/10/14 at 4:51 pm
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:48 pm to CapitalCityDevil
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducked.
Baby seal goes into a club.
Baby seal goes into a club.
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:48 pm to Zantrix
quote:
Vampire walks into a bar, orders a cup of blood. Pays $4, takes his pint of blood and takes a seat in a booth.
was it happy hour or something?
why did he pay for a cup, yet get a pint?
2 for 1?
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:49 pm to Croacka
Don't be that guy.
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:50 pm to Zantrix
quote:
Vampire walks into a bar, orders a cup of blood. Pays $4, takes his pint of blood and takes a seat in a booth.
Another vampire walks into the same bar and orders a cup of blood. Same routine, pays $4, thanks the barkeep and takes a seat in a booth.
Third bartender walks in and orders a cup of water. Barkeep looks confused, asks him if he meant blood. The vampire says no. Barkeep gets a little irate and reminds the man that he's a goddamned vampire and he's supposed to drink blood in his bar. At this point the vampire pulls out a used tampon and replies: "I'm making tea".
This is where your joke fell apart
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:51 pm to lsufan_26
edited. sorry I didn't copypasta.
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:53 pm to CapitalCityDevil
I got a couple...but I'll be deemed a racist and likely banned
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:53 pm to lsufan_26
(no message)
This post was edited on 12/10/14 at 5:20 pm
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:54 pm to Darth_Vader
BOOOOOOOOOOOO
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:54 pm to Zantrix
quote:
Don't be that guy.
well the whole time I read the joke, i expected the whole cup/pint thing to be part of the punch line
it was a distraction
Posted on 12/10/14 at 4:56 pm to CapitalCityDevil
A man walks into a bar....
And slowly tears his family apart with his addiction.
And slowly tears his family apart with his addiction.
Posted on 12/10/14 at 5:01 pm to Road Tiger
Posted on 12/10/14 at 5:04 pm to CapitalCityDevil
A woman was making last minute preparations for a gala dinner she and her husband were throwing at their new malibu beach house when she realized she had forgotten to purchase escargots. "Will you run down the beach and grab some snails?" she asked.
Her husband took a pail and started walking down the shore. Before long he noticed a beautiful bikini-clad woman strolling in his direction. Much to his surprise she stopped and began talking to him. Eventually their conversation turned personal and they ended up back at her place having crazy sex and afterward her fell deep asleep.
He awoke at 7 am and threw his clothes on. He sprinted down the shore with his bucket of snails. When he got to his house he flew up the stairs two at a time and tripped. The snails went flying all over the porch. His enraged wife opens the door and sees her husband.
He looks down at the snails then his wife then back down to the snails. "Come on, guys," he gasped "We're almost there."
Her husband took a pail and started walking down the shore. Before long he noticed a beautiful bikini-clad woman strolling in his direction. Much to his surprise she stopped and began talking to him. Eventually their conversation turned personal and they ended up back at her place having crazy sex and afterward her fell deep asleep.
He awoke at 7 am and threw his clothes on. He sprinted down the shore with his bucket of snails. When he got to his house he flew up the stairs two at a time and tripped. The snails went flying all over the porch. His enraged wife opens the door and sees her husband.
He looks down at the snails then his wife then back down to the snails. "Come on, guys," he gasped "We're almost there."
Posted on 12/10/14 at 5:05 pm to lsufan_26
Asian man is having trouble seeing so he goes to the eye doctor.
Doctor tells him he has a cataract.
Asian replies no I drive a Lincoln
Doctor tells him he has a cataract.
Asian replies no I drive a Lincoln
Posted on 12/10/14 at 5:06 pm to CapitalCityDevil
quote:
Tell me your favorite joke
Yeah, I'm not getting banned
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