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Message
re: Should I be ashamed?
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:48 am to Iona Fan Man
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:48 am to Iona Fan Man
I'm not even sure what to say.
Maybe I'm just lucky but when not in a relationship I've always been able to have a few females that I just hungout with and we always just sorta knew the deal. And when I would end up exclusive with someone it's like they knew that we had to lay off of communicating and we wouldn't be doing the horizontal tango. I can count on one hand how many times in my life it has been mentioned by me or someone I was involved with about things being "exclusive or fwb". It's usually just known unless you are one of those a-hole guys that lead girls on to get in their drawz. People aren't stupid. It's pretty easy to figure that out.
I mean if you are just a horny frick and have a single hole to wallow in, I can see how the frequency of y'all hanging out could get things construed I guess.
Maybe I'm just lucky but when not in a relationship I've always been able to have a few females that I just hungout with and we always just sorta knew the deal. And when I would end up exclusive with someone it's like they knew that we had to lay off of communicating and we wouldn't be doing the horizontal tango. I can count on one hand how many times in my life it has been mentioned by me or someone I was involved with about things being "exclusive or fwb". It's usually just known unless you are one of those a-hole guys that lead girls on to get in their drawz. People aren't stupid. It's pretty easy to figure that out.
I mean if you are just a horny frick and have a single hole to wallow in, I can see how the frequency of y'all hanging out could get things construed I guess.
1
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:51 am to Tiger n Miami AU83
quote:
I only read the OP.
Did you even read the part where the OP talked about he made it exclusive and "top priority" while she did not?
What you are not noting is that the OP wanted something much more than she did - and that the relationship soley existed in his mind, but not in real life. The fact is, he made her is top priority and behaved in such a way that, in his mind, seemed like an exclusive relationship.
This reeks of desperation on the OP's side.
This post was edited on 6/30/14 at 11:55 am
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:53 am to JudgeHolden
The chick doesn't deserve any blame in this? She had to know OP was really into her, and instead of ending it she kept staying at his house, cooking him dinner, going on trips, etc... You don't leave your iPad at your FWB's house. He should have had bigger balls when they talked the first time, but hindsight is 20/20 and it sounds like this chick might be at least a little manipulative.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:56 am to TheDrunkenTigah
We ever get an update on the marksasaurus thread where he found his fiancé or whatever in the bed with another couple naked at a fishing camp and decided to sit in the car and post to ask his next move??
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:56 am to TheDrunkenTigah
quote:
The chick doesn't deserve any blame in this?
Why would she? There never was an exclusive relationship, except on the OP's side. How many chicks aren't manipulative on some level?
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:56 am to TheDrunkenTigah
I'd put the blame on both parties equally. The chick for being a bitch, the dude for being a puss, and neither one really communicating with the other.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:57 am to SuperSaint
quote:
We ever get an update on the marksasaurus thread where he found his fiancé or whatever in the bed with another couple naked at a fishing camp and decided to sit in the car and post to ask his next move??
wtf? cliffs
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:57 am to TheDrunkenTigah
quote:
chick might be at least a little manipulative
they all are. It is how well you can read the manipulation, and reacting to it accordingly.
Is she:
trying to get the D?
trying to get a husband?
using you as a servant?
using you to elevate her self-worth?
...
The trick is understanding her desire, and acting accordingly if the two don't mesh.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:58 am to TheDrunkenTigah
It was like at 5am or whatever... I don't remember getting any updates. He basically sat in the car until daylight asking us what he should do while she was telling him he was overreacting and she had slept walked.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:59 am to SuperSaint
quote:
It was like at 5am or whatever... I don't remember getting any updates. He basically sat in the car until daylight asking us what he should do while she was telling him he was overreacting and she had slept walked.
I, uh, tripped and fell on his cock
Posted on 6/30/14 at 11:59 am to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:00 pm to SuperSaint
quote:
she had slept walked.
right into a dick.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:01 pm to SuperSaint
Coming get the iPad was well planned. She wanted you to blow up or say anything that she could deliver a well though up response to that would make you look a d-bag. Guarantee she wanted to attempt to make you beg to take her back. Bitches do this when they know they are busted. She will put full court press on the other guy, hopefully he plays her like she tried to play Uncle and she gets her instant karma.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:02 pm to Spaceman Spiff
quote:
Why would she? There never was an exclusive relationship, except on the OP's side. How many chicks aren't manipulative on some level?
It's at least 50% on her after he told her he wanted more than just FWB and she said "we'll see" instead of "that's not what I want". I would have been out after that, but it's not impossible to believe that after only a few months someone might not have it all figured out. The adult thing to do at that point is at least tell the other person it ain't working before you bang someone else.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:05 pm to TheDrunkenTigah
quote:
The adult thing to do at that point is at least tell the other person it ain't working before you bang someone else.
Exactly. Except she is most likely in the same boat as the OP with the other guy. So she is waiting to see if that turns into something else before "settling."
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:10 pm to TheDrunkenTigah
quote:
It's at least 50% on her after he told her he wanted more than just FWB and she said "we'll see" instead of "that's not what I want". I would have been out after that, but it's not impossible to believe that after only a few months someone might not have it all figured out. The adult thing to do at that point is at least tell the other person it ain't working before you bang someone else.
The first red flag is her saying "we'll see," because if she wanted that or was even remotely serious, then her answer would have been different. But, she didn't. He acted like it was much more than what it really was and that is on him, not her.
The normal person would have had a totally different mindset as soon as she did her "we'll see" bit, but OP kept on keeping, right? Who is that on?
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:12 pm to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
quote:
Is she:
trying to get the D?
trying to get a husband?
using you as a servant?
using you to elevate her self-worth?
...
The trick is understanding her desire, and acting accordingly if the two don't mesh.
Somebody gets it. It's not her fault she manipulative. All girls are, it's in their DNA. Literally. Deep down they all know that the only thing g they really have going for them is a pussy and womb to carry our offspring. They will use that power to fulfill their needs.
It's the man's job to weed through that bullshite to get what he wants. Not the other way around.
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:23 pm to Spaceman Spiff
quote:
He acted like it was much more than what it really was and that is on him, not her.
So it's not her fault that he couldn't realize she's full of shite?
I understand you're trying to look cool in front of the 'every woman is a lying whore' crowd, but do you understand how dumb that sounds, Sigmund?
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:36 pm to TheDrunkenTigah
The OP smacks of desperation, or either this is a great troll.
Did she take advantage of him? If so, then how? She let it be known that she wanted to hang out/etc., but was not interested in an exclusive, yet he treated it as one. So, who is that on? On the surface, the OP appears to be like a lovesick puppy who so desperately wants the same - but is not getting it, so he will take what he can get.
Of course, one can argue that she should say "well, I told him that I wanted a FWB type but he wants more, so I will just leave." Did she lead him on? If so, then how? She made it clear yet he chose to ignore it. Whose fault is that?
Posted on 6/30/14 at 12:40 pm to Spaceman Spiff
It's his fault for allowing this to happen. However, at least he came to the right place for some solid advice and has since ended it. Better late than never. Hopefully he has learned his lesson.
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