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re: Parents of young kids, what’s your technology plan as they get older?
Posted on 5/5/19 at 5:28 pm to redstick13
Posted on 5/5/19 at 5:28 pm to redstick13
As an expecting father, it is not lost upon me of the sobering effect that your reply, in all of its past tense, has on my consciousness, nor in its ability to instantly wipe clean the trifling nothings that life has served up today.
Still praying with yall brother.
Still praying with yall brother.
2
Posted on 5/5/19 at 5:32 pm to Bigbee Hills
What a great, GREAT post!
I know everybody here likes to TL;DR but I absolutely love long, comprehensive, well-thought-out, genuine, stream of conscious posts such as that.
Kuddos.
And you'll probably be a great dad, by the way.
I know everybody here likes to TL;DR but I absolutely love long, comprehensive, well-thought-out, genuine, stream of conscious posts such as that.
Kuddos.
And you'll probably be a great dad, by the way.
Posted on 5/5/19 at 5:36 pm to Bigbee Hills
quote:
As an expecting father, it is not lost upon me of the sobering effect that your reply, in all of its past tense, has on my consciousness, nor in its ability to instantly wipe clean the trifling nothings that life has served up today.
Still praying with yall brother.
Thank you Bigbee. This is one of the most profound things anyone has said to me over our loss.
Prayers that the birth of your child goes perfectly. I am sure you will be a wonderful father.
This post was edited on 5/5/19 at 5:40 pm
Posted on 5/5/19 at 5:43 pm to redstick13
quote:
Prayers that the birth of your child goes perfectly.
As do I, brother.
The Lord my God knows, as do I.
And thank you.
Posted on 5/5/19 at 11:19 pm to Tiger1242
quote:
A. You can't tell, they are 9, you can just ask them and they will tell you
You have never coached or watched high level competition, apparently. If you can't tell a kid's brain is on fumes, you don't need to be coaching. It has as big or bigger effect on focus and intensity than nutrition and sleep. I can tell in the first few minutes of a game, if not before warmups are done, if a kid has spent too much time on the Xbox/PS/phone the day before or that day. Nobody needs to tell me. It's obvious.
quote:
B. You bench kids as a punishment at 9 years old?
No. I bench players for showing up to a game unprepared to help their team. You want to play an intense sport for an hour when you have to rely on a hung over teammate? See above answer.
quote:
You are an idiot and hurting these kids athletic and social development
Binging on Fortnite is doing that just fine, not me.
quote:
You are exactly the type of horrible parent coach that we high school coaches hate and are doing damage to organized sports
they are NINE YEARS OLD, you don't punish them for BEING KIDS. Your ONLY job as a coach at that age is to teach them fundamentals and make sure they are HAVING FUN.
The fact that they are 9 years old is all the more reason to teach them to not frick with the chemistry of their brain.
Trust me when I say this... I have had 0 players burn out from my development or instruction. I have seen many players burn out during their off-season months when they buried themselves in Fortnite and were never able to recover.
No kid will ever go next-level without loving his or her sport. I foster that passion and love, as it's the keystone to their development.
quote:
Seriously, you just really pissed me off, please quit coaching, you are doing permanent damage to those kids and to whatever sport you are coaching, I guarantee it
Sounds like you play a lot of fortnite
This post was edited on 5/6/19 at 2:53 am
Posted on 5/5/19 at 11:50 pm to SoulGlo
High level competition at 9 years old?
You know the coach of the Yankees on the Bad News Bears? You're a real life example of that guy.
You know the coach of the Yankees on the Bad News Bears? You're a real life example of that guy.
Posted on 5/5/19 at 11:54 pm to Tiger1242
(no message)
This post was edited on 10/1/20 at 8:42 am
Posted on 5/6/19 at 12:02 am to Bigbee Hills
Bingo, my man.
It gets to the point where kids will WATCH VIDEOS OF OTHER PEOPLE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES when their screen time runs out or whatnot.
The dopamine release we grew up with came from sports, interactive games IRL, getting a job done and receiving a reward, etc. We had to DO SOMETHING for that rush. Kids now(and adults) get that dopamine response without any physical activity whatsoever. It tricks their brain into thinking they did something when they haven't done anything at all. They get used to it and develop the attention span of a gnat unless there's excitement involved. What's worse, when it comes time to actually DO something, it's hard for them to "turn it on" because they're used to reward without really any effort.
By reading your post, your kid should be just fine. Trust your gut. You'll do great.
quote:
make him into a productive member of society, thereby minimizing his allowable time to live vicariously through others in a pitiful online existence.
It gets to the point where kids will WATCH VIDEOS OF OTHER PEOPLE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES when their screen time runs out or whatnot.
The dopamine release we grew up with came from sports, interactive games IRL, getting a job done and receiving a reward, etc. We had to DO SOMETHING for that rush. Kids now(and adults) get that dopamine response without any physical activity whatsoever. It tricks their brain into thinking they did something when they haven't done anything at all. They get used to it and develop the attention span of a gnat unless there's excitement involved. What's worse, when it comes time to actually DO something, it's hard for them to "turn it on" because they're used to reward without really any effort.
By reading your post, your kid should be just fine. Trust your gut. You'll do great.
Posted on 5/6/19 at 12:06 am to RealityTiger
quote:
High level competition at 9 years old?
My youngest players are 8, and most are 11 and 12. You don't think all age groups have various levels of competition? You think "high level of competition" only means college or pro? How about the 8 and 9 year olds contributing on the field with 11 and 12 year olds in club tournaments and league play?
ETA... As for the rest of your post, my players are there because they want to be. They want it far more than their parents, and I don't accept players who are there for their parents. I tell those parents to take their kid somewhere else.
This post was edited on 5/6/19 at 2:09 am
Posted on 5/6/19 at 12:21 am to dixiechick
That's a good read, thank you for linking that. It's the kind of stuff my long arse tldr post tried to say. The tide is already kind of changing. If you introduce folks to a bass hitting a topwater bait, or hiking, or archery, or to disassemble a radio (I used to do that kind of stuff all the time when I was a kid), etc., then they'll like it. They'll appreciate the humanity of themselves and in others, and in all sorts of other ways beyond the act itself. It's the "real" part in reality, and it's something that the parents have to live out as well. That takes effort and sacrifice, and, per usual, the fruit that the next generation produces (or doesn't) will fall squarely on the shoulders of the ones who raised them. Nothing under the sun is new.
I firmly believe that this subject and us navigating our way through it with prudence is the defining moment of the coming generation and who and what they'll be. We were (and are) the Guinea pigs, but now it's time to conclude the results, publish the findings, and set forth policy based upon it.
I firmly believe that this subject and us navigating our way through it with prudence is the defining moment of the coming generation and who and what they'll be. We were (and are) the Guinea pigs, but now it's time to conclude the results, publish the findings, and set forth policy based upon it.
Posted on 5/6/19 at 1:00 am to SoulGlo
Thank you. And I agree wholeheartedly with your philosophy on the matter.
It's no different than my summer bball coaches benching a player because he couldn't contribute due to being in a swimming pool all day: He was gassed, and he knew what the result would be, but he did it anyway. To add insult to injury, he was forewarned that it'd happen and again, he did it anyway- on game day.
But he didn't care. But the coach did, and so did we, his teammates: the real humans doing real things, who don't get to re-up in a new game if he chits the bed on fortnite.
But because of his action, he was disciplined. He got to swim, and we got to win the REAL game without him.
That is life. For every action their is an equal and opposite reaction. There are always consequences to our actions. Always.
I personally disagree with every single premise that your dissenter put forth: that piss poor philosophy is the exact reason why 9 year olds nowadays have the mouth and attitude of a 17 year old, and yet they have the mental stamina of a toddler. They're ill-equipped to cope with the rapidly approaching "big boy" world that's coming their way. Furthermore, if anyone thinks that a first world nine year old isn't already having all the fun that he wants- and without all that icky consequences stuff- and that he isn't being exposed to content that someone twice his age is barely ready for, then he or she is living under a damn rock. A nine year old, both now and forever, is plenty old enough to decide: I want to ball or I want to game. One is not like the other.
For the ones who chose the latter, they'll burn out alright, but it won't be because coach benched them because of their selfishness: it'll be because of the ever-growing list of why excessive screen time is bad for them. But even then they can't figure out why, because the "other" coach never taught them about repercussions.
FuNdAmEnTaLs and fUn be damned, they're fundamentally fricked because no adult would pop their tit out of his mouth and tell him to buck the f*ck up and take on some responsibility.
If a 9 year old can't handle simple, trifling decisions like gaming all night before the real game vs. not, then he has already become a part of the problem, and no one single coach, game or experience is going to cure that.
But some time riding the pine is better than nothing, and it's for damned sure better than making sure he's having all the fun in the world.
That kinda fun, matter of fact, is the kinda fun that he is quickly growing tired of.
It's no different than my summer bball coaches benching a player because he couldn't contribute due to being in a swimming pool all day: He was gassed, and he knew what the result would be, but he did it anyway. To add insult to injury, he was forewarned that it'd happen and again, he did it anyway- on game day.
But he didn't care. But the coach did, and so did we, his teammates: the real humans doing real things, who don't get to re-up in a new game if he chits the bed on fortnite.
But because of his action, he was disciplined. He got to swim, and we got to win the REAL game without him.
That is life. For every action their is an equal and opposite reaction. There are always consequences to our actions. Always.
I personally disagree with every single premise that your dissenter put forth: that piss poor philosophy is the exact reason why 9 year olds nowadays have the mouth and attitude of a 17 year old, and yet they have the mental stamina of a toddler. They're ill-equipped to cope with the rapidly approaching "big boy" world that's coming their way. Furthermore, if anyone thinks that a first world nine year old isn't already having all the fun that he wants- and without all that icky consequences stuff- and that he isn't being exposed to content that someone twice his age is barely ready for, then he or she is living under a damn rock. A nine year old, both now and forever, is plenty old enough to decide: I want to ball or I want to game. One is not like the other.
For the ones who chose the latter, they'll burn out alright, but it won't be because coach benched them because of their selfishness: it'll be because of the ever-growing list of why excessive screen time is bad for them. But even then they can't figure out why, because the "other" coach never taught them about repercussions.
FuNdAmEnTaLs and fUn be damned, they're fundamentally fricked because no adult would pop their tit out of his mouth and tell him to buck the f*ck up and take on some responsibility.
If a 9 year old can't handle simple, trifling decisions like gaming all night before the real game vs. not, then he has already become a part of the problem, and no one single coach, game or experience is going to cure that.
But some time riding the pine is better than nothing, and it's for damned sure better than making sure he's having all the fun in the world.
That kinda fun, matter of fact, is the kinda fun that he is quickly growing tired of.
Posted on 5/6/19 at 12:34 pm to Bigbee Hills
quote:
It's no different than my summer bball coaches benching a player because he couldn't contribute due to being in a swimming pool all day: He was gassed, and he knew what the result would be, but he did it anyway. To add insult to injury, he was forewarned that it'd happen and again, he did it anyway- on game day.
But he didn't care. But the coach did, and so did we, his teammates: the real humans doing real things, who don't get to re-up in a new game if he chits the bed on fortnite.
Yes. I've seen it with dozens of players.
I can tell within a few minutes of a game that a kid is not all there, and that's assuming I don't see it in warmups. I usually do. I don't have to ask to know.
It's really hard to get your body to do intense physical activity for the same chemical reward that you just flooded your brain with while sitting on your arse. What's nuts is that these players THINK they are hustling and working hard in a game when they are visibly at 50%-60%(or less) than what they normally do. They don't know they're dragging arse.
They also don't even have to game all night. They can get their normal amount of sleep the night before. Simply playing those games for hours the day/evening before has that effect.
quote:
I personally disagree with every single premise that your dissenter put forth: that piss poor philosophy is the exact reason why 9 year olds nowadays have the mouth and attitude of a 17 year old, and yet they have the mental stamina of a toddler.
And when they get to 17 they have the mental stamina of a 9 year old.
quote:
But some time riding the pine is better than nothing, and it's for damned sure better than making sure he's having all the fun in the world.
Yep. Grades, trouble at home, etc will get a kid benched, no matter how good he is on the field and no matter how much he could help the team that day. Sitting on the bench and watching your teammates is far more impactful than having to stay home.
Posted on 5/6/19 at 12:46 pm to LSUfan20005
quote:
The whole "I'm letting them play so they learn technology to be competitive in the workforce" is a lie and an excuse parents tell themselves. The technology 10yr olds will use in their careers likely doesn't exist yet and sure as shite isn't iPad comparable. Part of the reason everyone loves current tech play is it's so intuitive (toddlers quickly grasp), practice isn't needed.
It'll change by the time they're adults but it will evolve slowly. So I can see getting them comfortable with it and then adapting.
Posted on 5/6/19 at 2:01 pm to Bestbank Tiger
quote:
quote:
The whole "I'm letting them play so they learn technology to be competitive in the workforce" is a lie and an excuse parents tell themselves. The technology 10yr olds will use in their careers likely doesn't exist yet and sure as shite isn't iPad comparable. Part of the reason everyone loves current tech play is it's so intuitive (toddlers quickly grasp), practice isn't needed.
According to a study done a couple years ago, up to two to three hours of gaming per week is beneficial for hand/eye coordination. Past that, there is no benefit... Four to six hours or more and the development of their brains is affected negatively. 9+ hours per week can turn into addiction.
It's a drug, and should be treated as such by parents. The addiction signals are identical to that of heroin, coke, etc. This goes for many vices, but most people think the gaming is harmless. It's certainly not.
Posted on 5/6/19 at 2:13 pm to Tiger1242
I have a 16 year old and a 12 year old. The bottom line is you can't shield them from it, especially with schools today leaning so heavily on Google Classroom, Google Docs, and Chromebooks.
Smart phones is whole other can of worms. Mine(16 and 12 currently) didn't get smart phones until they were 11, and had to prove they were mature enough for the responsibility.
Smart phones is whole other can of worms. Mine(16 and 12 currently) didn't get smart phones until they were 11, and had to prove they were mature enough for the responsibility.
Posted on 5/6/19 at 2:13 pm to Oilfieldbiology
quote:
Our plan is to
Ahhh yes. I remember back when we had a "plan" too.
Just remember kids are individuals. One kid might be obsessed with electronics, nothing particularly wrong with that. Another kid might play with it 5 minutes and decide he'd rather hit things with sticks. Nothing wrong with that.
Or maybe it's raining all damn day and you've played every game in the house, so more screen time is allowed.
Just go with the flow and do what works in the moment as your kids, and you and your wife, get older and wiser day by day.
Be flexible. Don't take a hard line approach to any of this shite and don't listen to other people on the internet about child rearing, including me. My kids are different than your kids.
Posted on 5/6/19 at 3:18 pm to Bigbee Hills
quote:
As an expecting father, it is not lost upon me of the sobering effect that your reply, in all of its past tense, has on my consciousness, nor in its ability to instantly wipe clean the trifling nothings that life has served up today. Still praying with yall brother.
I had a long post in mind....but damn this hit me harder than expected, talk about putting it back in perspective. Thoughts and prayers redstick.
As others have said, it about balance and boundaries. Our3 year old gets ~1 hour total a day, usually after dinner/breakfast (if he makes a happy plate) when we are cleaning up.
Posted on 5/6/19 at 3:27 pm to Tiger1242
My plan as of now is to use technology as a reward. If he has a good day, let him play on an app or watch a show. As he gets older the amount of time can go up but will always be age appropriate.
He is still too young for all of this now, so its just my thoughts on what I will do. Now he has no interest in TV or watching videos on my phone outside of however long Baby Shark is. He is much to active to want to sit still and watch. Which is a good thing.
He is still too young for all of this now, so its just my thoughts on what I will do. Now he has no interest in TV or watching videos on my phone outside of however long Baby Shark is. He is much to active to want to sit still and watch. Which is a good thing.
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