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Posted on 10/11/14 at 10:35 pm to Huey Lewis
Posted on 10/11/14 at 10:35 pm to Huey Lewis
Better to divorce before they are old enough to understand. Mine divorced so young I grew up not knowing the difference
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Posted on 10/11/14 at 10:52 pm to Bushmaster
Come on man. It's not a good action, but it could be a lot worse.
What gets me, is that most of us would lay our lives down for our kids in a heartbeat if it was a split second sacrifice; however, when it comes to the long, hard process of making a marriage work we are out the door quicker than Andrew Debose.
Lots of folks here have seen the effect of divorce on kids, including myself. Yet we toss it around like folding 7/2. Give her LOTS of love man and be patient for change.
What gets me, is that most of us would lay our lives down for our kids in a heartbeat if it was a split second sacrifice; however, when it comes to the long, hard process of making a marriage work we are out the door quicker than Andrew Debose.
Lots of folks here have seen the effect of divorce on kids, including myself. Yet we toss it around like folding 7/2. Give her LOTS of love man and be patient for change.
Posted on 10/11/14 at 10:56 pm to ByDaBook
OP, if your wife continues to talk badly about you in front of & to your child. leave her arse!
My ex does this AND claims to be a good mother.
My ex does this AND claims to be a good mother.
Posted on 10/11/14 at 11:24 pm to Come2Conquer
(no message)
This post was edited on 10/3/20 at 12:48 am
Posted on 10/11/14 at 11:24 pm to Huey Lewis
Make sure her life insurance is current. Arrange for a car accident, and make sure she is in the car by herself when it happens.
Posted on 10/11/14 at 11:39 pm to Huey Lewis
The issue is that the Jekyll & Hyde routine doesn't appear to be going away anytime soon, right?
Sure, things can always get better...but don't pretend that they can't get worse. Any parent who bad-mouths the other parent to the children (especially if they're still married!) has issues that absolutely need to be addressed. It's a pretty sure sign of self-centered behavior & an inability to see that the roles of spouse/parent do have some exclusivity from each other.
Sure, things can always get better...but don't pretend that they can't get worse. Any parent who bad-mouths the other parent to the children (especially if they're still married!) has issues that absolutely need to be addressed. It's a pretty sure sign of self-centered behavior & an inability to see that the roles of spouse/parent do have some exclusivity from each other.
Posted on 10/12/14 at 12:03 am to Huey Lewis
quote:
she has a very hard time handling her work stress and oftentimes takes it out on me
Do you make enough money to live off your income while she stays home with the kids? Do you think relieving this work stress would make for a happier wife and home?
Posted on 10/12/14 at 12:08 am to shutterspeed
quote:
Do you make enough money to live off your income while she stays home with the kids? Do you think relieving this work stress would make for a happier wife and home?
Counterpoint: my ex never worked a single day while we were together. The stress was about being bored or some other nonsense.
This isn't about potential triggers: the issues are already there.
Posted on 10/12/14 at 12:13 am to shutterspeed
quote:
Do you make enough money to live off your income while she stays home with the kids? Do you think relieving this work stress would make for a happier wife and home?
Financially, the options basically boil down to:
1. Situation we are in now. We both work and I work OT. Most income/long-term financial security and money for extras. She has work stress but we don't have much financial stress.
2. We both work, but I work no OT. I think this is a net stress gain, because I would be under moderate financial stress all the time in an attempt to still afford some amount of retirement, toys for kids, outings for her, etc. and I think that would cause considerable stress in the relationship in an area that we currently don't have much at all.
3. She stops working and stays home with the kid(s). I keep working OT, otherwise this isn't financially viable at all. We would go from being relatively comfortable financially to basically barely making it. There would be tons of financial stress, and I think she would still be stressed from dealing with the kids all day.
4. My never-going-to-happen pipe dream where I make about 125-150k without working OT. She can quit her job and we can still have money to pay for daycare and have money left over for fun stuff. She can do whatever she wants all day and send the kids to daycare and pay a housekeeper and not be so ugly to me.
I guess this is all my fault for not making more money.
Posted on 10/12/14 at 12:17 am to Huey Lewis
I was with a bipolar woman for three years, some of the behavior sounds familiar. The good times were very good, but when she went to that dark place, she was unbearable and a very angry, irrational person.
Posted on 10/12/14 at 12:32 am to Huey Lewis
What do you honestly think the root cause of her ill treatment of you is (sorry if this was addressed previously)?
Posted on 10/12/14 at 1:00 am to Huey Lewis
It is night and day when my wife is off her meds. Per Mayo, Zoloft is available to pregnant women. But, actually taking it depends on the risks and benefits. If someone is so depressed while off meds that they might engage in bad behaviors (starvation, alcohol, pills, etc.), they would obviously prefer to take the gamble with the pills. Honestly, I wouldn't feel comfortable taking them.
Looks like you have taken a lot of steps already. No one knows what is best for you and your family other than you. My bro got out of an also similarly bad relationship with his ex. He is much, much happier. His daughter has issues, but it's hard to place blame as to the cause.
You sound like you got your head on straight. Handle the situation carefully if you do separate. Go for custody if you want. And proceed with caution because your girl sounds like she may take drastic actions when confronted with the major stress involved. Good luck.
Looks like you have taken a lot of steps already. No one knows what is best for you and your family other than you. My bro got out of an also similarly bad relationship with his ex. He is much, much happier. His daughter has issues, but it's hard to place blame as to the cause.
You sound like you got your head on straight. Handle the situation carefully if you do separate. Go for custody if you want. And proceed with caution because your girl sounds like she may take drastic actions when confronted with the major stress involved. Good luck.
Posted on 10/12/14 at 3:49 am to ByDaBook
threads like these make me wonder how many men will start doing what many women already do. Find a partner willing to help have a baby with and then raise it sans permanent partner. it sounds suboptimal given the lack of an innate role model of both sexes and given that it would require a lot more money (esp to find a woman to have that baby for you) to get started and more money to have additional helper caretakers for basic and more advanced child care as your kid develops
there are just a lot of people (women as well as men) who are not really suited for raising children in spite of their desire to procreate
there are just a lot of people (women as well as men) who are not really suited for raising children in spite of their desire to procreate
Posted on 10/12/14 at 6:23 am to Huey Lewis
quote:
all my fault
It's always your fault bro, the joys of dealing with a bipolar bitch.
Posted on 10/12/14 at 6:37 am to molsusports
quote:
there are just a lot of people (women as well as men) who are not really suited for raising children in spite of their desire to procreate
I agree, but in this dudes case there were plenty of red flags as to what kind of person he was dealing with.
I know some people will disagree, but I honestly believe people don't change. I've seen it too many times, and learned myself that entering into a relationship hoping someone will change who they are is recipe for disaster.
Posted on 10/12/14 at 8:30 am to Huey Lewis
Therapy. Now.
Posted on 10/12/14 at 8:32 am to Huey Lewis
You love your kids, so, wake up. You can't change her, so who can you change? YOU ! Take a look at what part you play in these arguments, make adjustments. Sick people don't just randomly end up in a relationship, sick attracts sick. Seek marriage counseling, Spiritual help for yourself.
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