re: LUNCH THRAY—The “ I just can’t get the hang of it” chopsticks edition

Map you drinking yet?

quote:

---

Well that certainly sucks

---

yep


my list after a few cocktails:

check constantly to see that the brights aren't on
don't go 10 mph or 80 mph in a 45
no aggressive driving
stop on red & go on green

I started crying while running.

Then I didn't want to look like a loser so I ran home faster.



I got my best time.

The best one of those is the one about dracula in space because of the wording.

quote:

---

Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."

---

The fact that the astronaut calls you and tells you he's not Dracula...means that this is a conversation you've had before with them.

quote:

---

Hey dumbass, first Mapguy asks PEEJ to give us a game score and YOU jump in with the betting line. Then you come back in with a fricking narrative of both team's seasons.

If you are going to jump in where you weren't unvited, AT LEAST, give an appropriate response.

Oweo, how tall are you if you were standing?

Count, GFY.

---

Don't talk to me like that then ask me a question expecting me to answer.. Jackass.

you are so damn mean for no reason

quote:

---

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

---

quote:

---

if i end up on the sideline

---

you might be the next qb

You awful spicey lately.

some of my favs

quote:

---

To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

---

quote:

---

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said, “Disneyland burned down.” He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

---

quote:

---

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we’d all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn’t until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

---