re: Looking for adoption and fostering experiences

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Fair point, moral of the story is you can work your arse off your whole life to be successful and it only takes a few moments for your kids to ruin your life

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I think adopting a troubled teen would be much more difficult than a toddler or infant.

I have a good friend that was adopted. His mother was a drug addict and lived in squalor. He was adopted by a nice couple at 2 that couldn't have children. He's a Petroleum Engineer and married with 3 kids and has told me that he couldn't imagine what his life would be like otherwise.

I think most kids can thrive in the right environment if you can reach them before they are too damaged. Obviously there will be exceptions.

I'll say this, it's not easy and some days it's not fun, and other days you know you've made a mistake, but you have to remember above all else it's about trying to give the kids something they never would've gotten otherwise. Your life will never go back, and you'll wish it could. It's just not the same.

Here's a thread from last year and in it I was told by a fellow foster/adopt parent virtually the same thing and I brushed it off. I wish I hadn't.

LINK

Good friends of mine adopted. They absolutely adore their adopted daughter. But they also told me the adoption process itself is brutal and very much NOT for the faint of heart. Was very much an emotional roller coaster for them. All the applications you fill out. She said the interviews they have you go through...they will try to find any single negative thing in your past and throw it in your face. Her husband lost his home in 2008 before they married (like many other in the housing crisis in AZ). They threw that in his face and acted like it could mean he would be a bad father.


It's a damn shame it is so difficult and expensive (national average is anywhere from 20-50K) to adopt nowadays.

Fostering can be wonderful as well...but you have to realize the system is set up to do whatever they can to reunite the kids with the parents. So you could get very much emotionally attached and the child leaves your home.

If you are not against adopting a child that likely has a lot of medical/emotional issues (mom did drugs or drank in the pregnancy or abused the child)...then you could foster to adopt. That way seems to be the cheapest way to adopt(the state usually pays for almost all of the adoption costs).





Not trying to talk you out of it because adopting and fostering are two of the most selfless things an adult can do. Just know it is a huge commitment and something that shouldn't be taken lightly.

We adopted 2 girls from Ukraine. One was 11 other 13 when we started. Got the 11 yo adoption finalized when she was 13 and the 13 finalized when she was 16. She was 2 days from being sold off to human trafficking and had to pay off judges and oothers to keep it from happening. But they are wonderful, and I would do the same thing all over again. Great additions to the family, can't remember when they weren’t here, They are now 19 and 20 and they are a wonderful blessing. They were not sisters either. Never met each other until we got them to America.