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What Porn Does to Intimacy

3 studies find that explicit material can do more harm than most people think.

Is watching pornography really as benign as people think? The following three studies reveal that it has a greater effect on relationships than those we usually discuss.

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1. Porn-free relationships are stronger, with a lower rate of infidelity.

[R]esearchers measured the levels of negative communication, relationship adjustment, dedication or interpersonal commitment, sexual satisfaction, and infidelity.

They found that people who didn’t view any porn had lower levels of negative communication, were more committed to the relationship, and had higher sexual satisfaction and relationship adjustment. Their rate of infidelity was at least half of those who had watched sexual material alone and with their partners.

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2. Watching porn diminishes relationship commitment.

What these researchers discovered is that watching porn reminds you of all the potential sexual partners out there, which in turn lowers your dedication to the person you’re actually involved with.

Nathaniel Lambert, Sesen Negash and others conducted five separate experiments. They found that porn consumption lowered commitment in both men and women, but with a stronger effect on men. Those who had abstained from sexually explicit material showed increased commitment to the relationship.

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3. The fantasy alternative leads to real-world cheating.

In another study, Andrea Mariea Gwinn, Nathaniel Lambert, and others further explored the nature of the other alternatives imaginatively offered up by pornography. In one study, the researchers found that people who thought about porn they’d watched reported having better alternatives to their current relationship than those who didn’t. A second study showed that, over time, exposure to porn was a robust predictor of infidelity.

More strikingly, the team found that both thinking about possible partners and acting on the impulse to find those alternatives operated separately from dissatisfaction with one's current relationship and partner. In other words, even though one's own pasture may be plenty green enough, just the thought of a greener one can be enough to send one roving.

PsychologyToday

Now let's start with the obvious: Everybody here knows your boy Pecker loves women. He can obviously appreciate a great scene with 2, maybe even 3 or 4, beautiful women making sweet, sweet love to each other. That said, he also understands how destructive porn can be to the mind, and how men are now using porn as a substitute for real life intimacy. This is especially true for married bros. When you rely on porn to meet your sexual needs, you slowly start letting other areas of your life slip, areas that are necessary and required for intimacy with your wife or s/o.

"But Pecker, my wife is hardly ever interested in coitus. What is my sexual outlet going to be if I can't look at amateur MFF A2M assplay and beat off?" Great question. Take that frustration and turn into passion for something meaningful. Take care of yourself. Eat better. Don't drive a minivan. Be someone that you would want to have sex with. Find some passions in life and pursue them (learn a new skill, new language, musical instrument, etc.). Sure, that's more difficult than waiting for everyone to leave the house so you can jerk off. But you'll live a much more fulfilling life when you stop relying on porn to meet your needs. You'll also stop hurting your relationship. And you might accidentally turn yourself into someone your wife is actually attracted to again.

Your boy Pecker knows how hard the game is. But he also knows that you're only making it more difficult by trying to separate yourself from reality. Get off porn. You'll be better for it.