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re: How much to spend on engagement ring?
Posted on 5/6/17 at 5:49 pm to DupontsCircle
Posted on 5/6/17 at 5:49 pm to DupontsCircle
I spent about 3k on a ring in my late 20s and honestly don't regret it. Eloped in Vegas for 3k or so, been married for 13 years. Bought our first house with all of the money we saved. Screw societal norms.
1
Posted on 5/6/17 at 5:54 pm to lynxcat
Oh, you won't believe how expensive setting up a home together can be. Kids are astronomically expensive, hence why the middle class can't afford to have more than 1 or 2.
And you don't have to spend $30k on a wedding. My SO and I had a huge church wedding with a reception at an incredible venue, open bar, great food, badass band, the most fun anyone's ever had at a wedding, and it didn't cost half that.
I spent dead in the middle of that range on a ring and have zero regrets. It's gorgeous, unique, she loves it, and will literally wear it every day of her life until she dies. The diamond is perfectly sized for the setting, so I'll never have to pay to upgrade it to a larger stone, and i found a matching wedding ring set that looks like it was made for that engagement ring, so she has one on now and will get the other half at a tbd anniversary.
And you don't have to spend $30k on a wedding. My SO and I had a huge church wedding with a reception at an incredible venue, open bar, great food, badass band, the most fun anyone's ever had at a wedding, and it didn't cost half that.
I spent dead in the middle of that range on a ring and have zero regrets. It's gorgeous, unique, she loves it, and will literally wear it every day of her life until she dies. The diamond is perfectly sized for the setting, so I'll never have to pay to upgrade it to a larger stone, and i found a matching wedding ring set that looks like it was made for that engagement ring, so she has one on now and will get the other half at a tbd anniversary.
This post was edited on 5/6/17 at 5:59 pm
Posted on 5/6/17 at 5:56 pm to jdeval1
Every time this thread comes up I point out that the two months salary bullshite is one of the most successful and ingenious marketing campaigns in history. The diamond industry pulled this "standard" straight out of their arse but now every bride to be feels shorted if they don't get that or more.
Posted on 5/6/17 at 6:03 pm to lynxcat
I'm not saying you're just along for the ride, I'm saying it matters more to her than it does to you. You didn't dream of your perfect wedding day as soon as you could walk. She did. You don't pay traditionally for the wedding, her family does. The wedding is a celebration of the bride more than it is the groom. Whether that should be the case or not it is reality. You can either get with reality or you can deny the truth. If she's on board, great. If not, you're just going to look like an a-hole. Embrace the tradition, love it, charish it, and know that it really does matter. If not to you, than to her. I wanted to elope, she wanted a big wedding. We had a big wedding and I was glad she convinced me to go along with it. It was awesome, our families and friends had a blast, and it was better than I ever imagined it could be.
If that's what she wants, and you want to deny her that because you don't see the point, then you're not being responsible, you're not being frugal, you're being a selfish dick.
If that's what she wants, and you want to deny her that because you don't see the point, then you're not being responsible, you're not being frugal, you're being a selfish dick.
This post was edited on 5/6/17 at 6:05 pm
Posted on 5/6/17 at 6:47 pm to kingbob
well that escalated quickly. It will be a joint decision of whether we "embrace tradition" and to what extent we have or do not have a large wedding. It will likely fall in between where it's only closest family and friends.
Posted on 5/6/17 at 6:49 pm to DupontsCircle
A good rule of thumb is to spend the same amount you will pay your divorce attorney
Posted on 5/6/17 at 6:51 pm to lynxcat
She wants to save the money and tour Europe instead so that's what we are going to do. This diamond fiasco is just that, a fiasco.
I went look at rings today. It's hard for me to fathom and still is dropping ridiculous cash for a rock she puts on her hand and more than likely will get beat up, lost or stolen.
I went look at rings today. It's hard for me to fathom and still is dropping ridiculous cash for a rock she puts on her hand and more than likely will get beat up, lost or stolen.
Posted on 5/6/17 at 6:52 pm to lynxcat
As it should be. The importance part is to find out what she really wants and find a way to make that happen within reason. Finding out what she wants in an engagement ring, what she imagines a wedding should be like, etc are just conversations the two of you need to have akin to where you want to live, do you want to have kids and if so how soon, are you going to raise kids in a specific religious environment, public school or private school, how are you combining/splitting finances, are you getting a pre-nup and if so what do each of you need to protect, etc.
Posted on 5/6/17 at 6:55 pm to DupontsCircle
quote:
She wants to save the money and tour Europe instead so that's what we are going to do
That sounds awesome! I wish I could have convinced the SO to do the same, but no dice.
quote:
will get beat up, lost or stolen.
Wtf?
You do realize that most homeowners insurance offer riders to cover engagement rings, right? They're really reasonable too if you're that concerned.
This post was edited on 5/6/17 at 6:57 pm
Posted on 5/6/17 at 7:04 pm to dukke v
quote:
Dukke v, how long have you and Owen been a couple ?
Posted on 5/6/17 at 7:10 pm to DupontsCircle
$500
Posted on 5/6/17 at 7:19 pm to DupontsCircle
quote:
Luckily I met a woman have similar values and does not want me spending $8-10K on a ring,
Honestly, I felt like this is a one time only purchase and something she could be proud of and show off. All women love showing off their ring, so buck up and spend the 10k and don't be fooled by what her mouth is saying. She wants the bling, all women do.
Posted on 5/6/17 at 7:23 pm to AU4real35
quote:
All women love showing off their ring, so buck up and spend the 10k and don't be fooled by what her mouth is saying. She wants the bling, all women do.
If she really loved you and wanted to spend the rest of her life with you she would give no fricks. You could give her a ring from a cereal box and she would be content. So why feed her materialistic desires to compete with other women. Where does it end? If you spend that much on a ring, she will want to milk your bank account dry for other things which women compete with each other like purses, clothes, vehicles, etc.
Might as well put your foot down early.
Posted on 5/6/17 at 7:26 pm to kingbob
quote:
You didn't dream of your perfect wedding day as soon as you could walk. She did. You don't pay traditionally for the wedding, her family does. The wedding is a celebration of the bride more than it is the groom. Whether that should be the case or not it is reality.
And this is why the institution of marriage has gone down the tubes and why divorce rates are so high. To a lot of women these days getting married as all about the wedding/ceremony and no thought given to actually living as a married couple. They just want the ceremony.
The ceremony, where the entire day everything revolves around them and they get treated like a princess and everyone validates her the entire day.
A wedding used to be a formal ceremony where two families came together to witness the union of the bride & groom. Now its just another fairy tale princess ceremony where the bride gets sunshine pumped up her arse from dawn to dusk and everyone tells her how great she is. No thought given to the groom at all. And everything has to be absolutely perfect. It's My Super Sweet 16 only for weddings instead of birthdays.
Posted on 5/6/17 at 7:27 pm to kingbob
quote:
And you don't have to spend $30k on a wedding. My SO and I had a huge church wedding with a reception at an incredible venue, open bar, great food, badass band, the most fun anyone's ever had at a wedding, and it didn't cost half that.
Sorry but your wedding that was less than 15k wasn't as great as you think
Eta:
This post was edited on 5/6/17 at 7:27 pm
Posted on 5/6/17 at 7:31 pm to Deactived
quote:
Sorry but your wedding that was less than 15k wasn't as great as you think
I've had cousins get married over the past few years and some have gone small and some have gone big. I've enjoyed the smaller weddings much more than the big ones
My last cousin to get married last month had a big wedding, so many damn people there. It was like, whats the point. My cousin could hardly spend any time with anyone since there were so many people there.
Posted on 5/6/17 at 7:35 pm to goldennugget
Yea I get that.
A huge wedding for less than 15k sounds meh though.
A huge wedding for less than 15k sounds meh though.
Posted on 5/6/17 at 7:36 pm to Deactived
My $5k wedding was awesome
You just lack creativity
You just lack creativity
Posted on 5/6/17 at 7:39 pm to Salmon
Jew weddings usually are
For real though. I see no way you have a huge wedding for under 15k unless you go incredibly cheap on some things
For real though. I see no way you have a huge wedding for under 15k unless you go incredibly cheap on some things
Posted on 5/6/17 at 7:41 pm to Deactived
to be fair, my wedding only had like 70 people and I didn't include the photog in that price
I also got most things free (food, alcohol, cake, venue, chairs, etc)
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