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re: How many of us have an actual sexual addiction?
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:27 am to Mike da Tigah
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:27 am to Mike da Tigah
Yep
Helped to ruin past relationships and using as a crutch to pursue future postive interactions
Helped to ruin past relationships and using as a crutch to pursue future postive interactions
1
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:27 am to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
I have to know...is there some pamphlet going around in churches focusing on masturbation/porn to where this issue is on some many of your minds? It comes up constantly.
It's not about church. I don't attend. It's about sexual addiction, and the reason it keeps coming up (no pun intended) is because of how much it dominates our society with sex on the brain, and how much you hear things like porn and sexual addiction has hurt relationships with partners not being able to measure up to a ridiculous standard set by the porn industry through fantasy. That's real life shite.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:30 am to Mike da Tigah
quote:
has hurt relationships with partners not being able to measure up to a ridiculous standard set by the porn industry through fantasy
If more women were freaks in bed the divorce rate would drop big time
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:31 am to ISmellMischief
quote:
If more women were freaks in bed the divorce rate would drop big time
I can agree with this.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:31 am to Rouge
quote:
Yep Helped to ruin past relationships and using as a crutch to pursue future postive interactions
Same here.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:41 am to Mike da Tigah
quote:
It's about sexual addiction, and the reason it keeps coming up (no pun intended) is because of how much it dominates our society with sex on the brain, and how much you hear things like porn and sexual addiction has hurt relationships with partners not being able to measure up to a ridiculous standard set by the porn industry through fantasy.
What are you watching where this issue keeps coming up? Honestly...I never EVER hear about this scourge of our age, other than on here where the most religious minded here seem hellbent on making sure no one sees a boob or spills any seed.
Men are visually stimulated. We all understand this. Before regularly accessible porn, this need was met with anything guys could get their hands on, up to and including the Sears catalog. This isn't news. Porn on the internet, like credit card swiping at the gas station simply makes this more efficient.
Males also have a biological need to release sexual pressure. Hell...we can see it in other animals. I once lived with a guy in college who's stupid bird would rubs its junk on its swing so loudly we had to cover it up with a sheet to make it fall asleep. Masturbation is completely natural.
The problem begins almost entirely from a religious perspective as guilt creeps in. You said it yourself...the whole "wandering eye" stuff. Jimmy Carter's "I've lusted in my heart" crap. We all look...and we all look with lust...if you define lust as simply thinking, "Huh...she's hot. Bet she would be fun..." Blame biology. The difference between merely looking and ACTING is what constitutes a problem for most of us.
But like everything, if you can't go through family dinner without pulling up some porn site and spanking it at the dinner table, then yes...I'd agree...you have a problem. If, however, you occasionally pull up a porn site (or grab your wife's Victoria Secret like some kind of peasant) and rub one out, then no...I would never define that in any negative way.
The mileage of others CLEARLY varies...
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:45 am to GeauxTigerTM
You have religious issues. Pay more attention.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:47 am to Mike da Tigah
There is no such thing as sexual addiction.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:48 am to The Third Leg
quote:
There is no such thing as sexual addiction.
Oh, and neither gambling or drugs or alcohol?
Why wouldn't sex be an addiction with orgasms and chemicals in the brain being the high?
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:51 am to Mike da Tigah
Think back, like 50,000 years back.
One of those things was always around. One of those things is the foundation and continuation of life.
One of those things was always around. One of those things is the foundation and continuation of life.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:51 am to Mike da Tigah
quote:
Compulsive masturbation, look at and fap to porn daily or multiple times daily, find it difficult to impossible to say no to sex, practice a dangerous sexual lifestyle, have no control over your thoughts or wandering eyes, actual sex becomes less interesting if it's not comparable to porn on the internet and fantasy, etc?
Not a problem for me, I pat down all my CL suitors and they only get to cum on my chest.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:51 am to Mike da Tigah
I think the only thing that would qualify someone as a "sex addict" with an actual "problem" would be if they allowed sex to interfere with their daily lives and relationships. Jacking off once or twice daily isn't a problem. Showing up late to work because you had to finish jacking off first is.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:52 am to 632627
quote:
I think the only thing that would qualify someone as a "sex addict" with an actual "problem" would be if they allowed sex to interfere with their daily lives and relationships. Jacking off once or twice daily isn't a problem. Showing up late to work because you had to finish jacking off first is.
That's exactly what I was saying. When you've lost all control.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:53 am to 632627
quote:
How many of us have an actual sexual addiction?
Me.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:54 am to The Third Leg
quote:
Think back, like 50,000 years back. One of those things was always around. One of those things is the foundation and continuation of life.
It's not the sex, or the fapping or the attraction, or any of that. It's the having such a control over your life that it negatively affects relationships, etc.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:55 am to Mike da Tigah
quote:
quote:Yep Helped to ruin past relationships and using as a crutch to pursue future postive interactions Same here.
Dr Kongara in BR will make you feel normal about this. True story. To paraphrase his advice, "find steady safe side action that knows your situation and the sex keeps you content, don't ruin your marriage by telling your wife, and this is perfectly normal for people with bigger sexual appetites than others."
He made it clear that his advice doesn't include high risk/illegal shite like sleeping with hookers, buncha dudes, animals, kids, shite like that. But that side action is perfectly normal and is a societal restriction, not a malfunction of human behavior.
Put that in OT's DSM-IV pipe an toke it. That said, I don't need side action anymore b/c my gf does all the dirty shite I care to indulge in.
This post was edited on 6/12/14 at 9:57 am
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:55 am to Mike da Tigah
quote:
That's exactly what I was saying. When you've lost all control.
When you've lost all control?
Ok, so are you sure the sex is causing it or is one turning to sex in the wake of some other life problems.
Sex addiction is a financial scam.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:56 am to Mike da Tigah
quote:
You have religious issues.
The only religious issues I have revolve around the religious...
That being said, I'm sorry you seem to have had some issue personally with this. But, much like fast food, your inability to control yourself is not necessarily an indictment on the industry at large. The fact that some can't stop eating Big Macs does not make everyone that stops into a McDonald's a fast food addict any more so than a person who pulls up a porn site occasionally a porn addict.
Most of us do, really, have the ability to see some porn, see an attractive woman and have some thoughts, jerk off in whatever could be described as a healthy amount, etc, and NOT destroy our lives or our relationships.
Thankfully.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 10:00 am to mikelbr
quote:
Dr Kongara in BR will make you feel normal about this. True story. To paraphrase his advice, "find steady safe side action that keeps you content, don't ruin your marriage by telling her, and this is perfectly normal for people with bigger sexual appetites than others."
He made it clear that this doesn't include high risk sleeping with hookers, dudes, animals, kids, shite like that. But that side action is perfectly normal and is a societal restriction, not a malfunction of human behavior.
So wait, this so called doctor is telling people it's OK to screw around on your wife or person you're involved with in a committed relationship? How about the vow? What's he say about our normal propensity to breaking promises? Completely normal? What kind of degree does this quack have?
Posted on 6/12/14 at 10:00 am to Mike da Tigah
LINK
quote:
Nevertheless, there are professional therapists who dedicate their practices to serving this population and even 12-step programs for "sex addicts." Indeed, despite some professionals' claim that there is little difference between "psychological" and "physical" addiction, the fact remains that tolerance and withdrawal are essential criteria of addiction and neither has been convincingly demonstrated with respect to sexual behavior.
Sex is a natural reward that activates the same brain regions as truly addictive substances - the so called "reward pathway" involving dopaminergic activity among the ventral tegmental area, the nucleus accumbens, and the prefrontal cortex. What's more, food, water, and nurturing also activate this neural pathway. Yet, while some would argue (erroneously) that there are "food addicts," interestingly we don't seem to have an epidemic of "water addiction" or "nurture addicts."
This post was edited on 6/12/14 at 10:01 am
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