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re: How many chances would you give your spouse if they cheated?

Posted on 5/11/19 at 2:27 pm to
Posted by Clark W Griswold
THE USA
Member since Sep 2012
10947 posts
Posted on 5/11/19 at 2:27 pm to
Guess those vows mean nothing to people. Why get married at all if you don’t mean it.
Posted by bencoleman
RIP 7/19
Member since Feb 2009
37887 posts
Posted on 5/11/19 at 2:33 pm to
quote:


Let’s say you found out your SO slept with the opposite sex, you confronted them and they told you it was a mistake, and he/she was still madly in love with you?
My girlfriends sister’s husband has cheated on her twice, she is the breadwinner and she is giving him a third chance. I personally would break it off after one incident, once a cheater always a cheater. Do people make a mistake just once




It depends on how many times she can tolerate me fricking her sisters and best friends.
Posted by stateofplay
Member since Sep 2018
1504 posts
Posted on 5/11/19 at 2:41 pm to
Another man...0 chances.

Another woman, unlimited chances.
This post was edited on 5/11/19 at 2:42 pm
Posted by PiscesTiger
Concrete, WA
Member since Feb 2004
53696 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 11:25 am to
Zero.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
108896 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 11:31 am to
quote:

Just for arguments sake you can be non-monagamous and not be a cheater. Cheating involves lying.


True. If two consenting adults decide to open up their marriage, then so be it. The issue comes when that’s not a discussion between the two or one is clearly manipulating the other (these are the saddest instances I’ve seen).

It’s not for me. And I would walk away from someone who cheated. But I’m also up front from day one that it’s a deal breaker.
Posted by Gabriel Susan Lewis
St. George
Member since Apr 2019
294 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 12:39 pm to
quote:

Can my partner and I cheated together?


Can I has a hamburger?
Posted by Fewer Kilometers
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2007
38664 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 2:46 pm to
Some couples can hack having cheated, some can’t. 9 times out of 10 it’s the guy who’s fricking around. Women tend to handle being cheated on better than men.

Not sure why you’d come to the OT for advice, where every guy drives a $250K truck and would kill his fitness supermodel wife if she looked at another guy.
Posted by dcbl
Good guys wear white hats.
Member since Sep 2013
32380 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 2:53 pm to
Posted by liz18lsu
Member since Feb 2009
18134 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 2:55 pm to
quote:

OleWar


Was that meant to make me rethink my life choices? I was the person who signed 5 marriage certificates, as the officient. My home life is no different, I just didn’t throw a “Look at me and buy me gifts” party
Posted by Supermoto Tiger
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2010
10964 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 3:03 pm to
One strike and you're O U T
A cheater doesn't cheat just once.
quote:

once a cheater always a cheater.
Posted by liz18lsu
Member since Feb 2009
18134 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 3:05 pm to
quote:

One strike and you're O U T
A cheater doesn't cheat just once.
quote:
once a cheater always a cheater.

Not true
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
53814 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 3:07 pm to
I cheated on a girlfriend once in college. I guess that makes me a cheater for life
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
299716 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 3:09 pm to
I'm a reformed cheater. I'll not do it again.

I'll just say this, there's worse things someone can do to me than make a one time mistake. I'll never say it's a definite deal breaker.

I imagine most people here would be shocked to find out how many of their spouses have done it
Posted by liz18lsu
Member since Feb 2009
18134 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 3:13 pm to
Black and white with no shades of grey reminds me of a child’s capacity for thought.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
299716 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 3:15 pm to
quote:

Black and white with no shades of grey reminds me of a child’s capacity for thought.


It is. It's a very basic way of looking at extremely complex things.
Posted by liz18lsu
Member since Feb 2009
18134 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 3:17 pm to
I used to wonder how people could have stepkids. Wasn’t that a constant reminder your partner fricked someone else? I grew up.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
53814 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 3:19 pm to
quote:

I used to wonder how people could have stepkids. Wasn’t that a constant reminder your partner fricked someone else? I grew up.

Honestly how many people today are virgins when they get married? I'm sure there are some but surely it's less than 5%
Posted by shutterspeed
MS Gulf Coast
Member since May 2007
73729 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 3:20 pm to
quote:

I guess that makes me a cheater for life


It’s plain to see. You can’t change me. Cuz Imma be a cheata for life.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
53814 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 3:21 pm to
quote:

It’s plain to see. You can’t change me. Cuz Imma be a cheata for life.



I'm not though. I felt so guilty about it that I broke up with her.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
299716 posts
Posted on 5/12/19 at 3:21 pm to
quote:

Wasn’t that a constant reminder your partner fricked someone else? I grew up.


Yep, before they met me, that's none of my business. I've never even asked about how many partners someone has had.
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