Getting out of jury duty?

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Getting out of jury duty?

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UnAmerican

If you were in EBR parish I would just tell you to bring Wilson Fields a bottle of Hennessy

Just don't go. It's not like they'll do anything about it.

Be prepared. I went for the first time (my contact at the courthouse moved) and was selected. Spent the last two weeks hearing a civil case that should have never made it to trial.

At least my company pays for it though. Some there weren't being paid by their employers and only received their $25/day from the court.

wear a confederate flag bandana

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Use a racial slur in your excuse. chances are the defendant is a minority and they'll cut you instantly.

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The plaintiff was in the civil case. Someone did this and it worked FWIW.

I've never been to jury duty, tell me how it goes.

THE COURT: Ladies and gentlemen, good morning, and welcome. In asking you to join us this morning, we are fully sensitive to the disruption we represent in your lives. I know we've interfered with work schedules, school schedules, and leisure time activities. I know the traffic is bad, and the parking is worse. I know that we've made it more difficult to honor obligations that at school in your
children's sports and ballet lessons and choir practice, the family meal times and car pools. The list goes on. We know we represent a significant intrusion on what you would like to be doing. We ask you to be here this morning, however, because we have important work for you to do. And it will not get done without a jury. Despite all the inconveniences to which we've put you, I think your attitude toward jury service will depend on your initial frame of mind.

I think you very well could look at jury service as a form of tax, like the income tax we pay the federal government or the property tax we pay the county or school district in which we reside. This is a tax on the privilege of being an American paid not -- at least not directly, with dollars and cents, but with time and effort. If that's the way you want to look at this, there's not a whole lot I can do about it, but I would suggest you need to lift your eyes off of that vista and take a different look, a new perspective, because we're doing so much more than simply discharging a duty. We are performing, all of us, the most sacred duty asked of Americans in peacetime society. You can resolve an issue between two litigants that has been ongoing for years, that has occupied an enormous amount of time of the clients, of the lawyers, and of this Court.
You will see in the course of this proceeding a cumulative total of perhaps two centuries of legal experience. This is my 40th year involved in the study, the practice of the administration of law, and I know other attorneys whom you will hear from have similar experience. But at the end of the day, this case is going to be decided not by me and not by the lawyers, but by you.
In addition to the solemnity of the due that lS imposed, we join a lengthy generational continuum as we are met today. At least metaphorically, your
parents and your grandparents set where you now sit, and if we do our job right, someday our grandchildren and our grandchildren's grandchildren will sit where you are. My parents lived long enough to see me made a judge. They had no legal background at all and knew little about the legal system, but they always were very interested in the juries that I had. Were they interested in the case? What different occupations did they represent? Was there a good balance between the two genders? Was there an age range? Did the jury consist of both native born and foreign born? They were always so eager to see how the jury functioned, because they in their turn had served as jurors many times. When I'm tired or when I'm burdened with other work, I frequently think, if my parents were still here, would I really like to report to them that we had a jury trial and I had done less than my best. And that thought helped sustain me, and I think you need to think that you are heirs to a tradition that involves your forebears, involves many other good and decent people. And in not doing your best, you let those people down.
All of who have sat where you sit, all who have been asked to make the decision you will be asked to make. This generational continuum that includes our parents and grandparents stretches back at least 11 generations. It stretches back all the way to the founders. When the 56 men met in that sticky summer in Philadelphia in 1776, they knew how important the right of jury trial was. And one of their chief grievances with King George was he had deprived them of the right to jury trial. The demand for jury trial rights was frontal in the list of grievances that those 56 men ascribed to George, III. And to remedy that defect in others, they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. A generation later, 39 men signed – excuse me - a decade later, 39 men signed the Constitution. They were in no doubt whatsoever about the importance of jury trials. It is the only constitutional right, the only one mentioned both in the body of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. John Adams spoke of jury trials as the heart and lungs of liberty. More recently, Justice Antonin Scalia, who sits on the Supreme Court, said, "When judges interpret the right to jury trial, they touch the spinal cord of American democracy."
Think of jury trials as an inconvenience, if you must, but please understand it is so much more than that. It is your chance to convene with those that have come before us. It is our chance, if not to pay the debt we owe to our country, at least to acknowledge it. It is our chance to remember that the burden we are asked to carry, no matter how heavy, is not so great as the goal we seek, that of an ideal justice, absolute and complete. But if you must, if you must, feel terribly sorry for yourselves, agree that every intrusion on your daily lives, let's talk about the sacrifice other people have made.
There's a blog that I check regularly called Fallen Soldiers. It list now more than 6,000 names of those who have died in Afghanistan and Iraq, among our service members, since 2003. Let's pause to remember just a few of them.
Navy Gunners Mate 2nd class, Dion R. 25, North Chicago, Illinois.
Army Private 1st Class John Townsend, age 19, Claremore, Oklahoma.
Army Specialist 1st Class Kyle Rookey, age23, Oswego, New York.
Army Chief Warrant Officer Thalia Ramirez, age 28, San Antonio, Texas.
Now, what do they these young men and that young woman what did they have to do with us? Quite a lot actually. They didn't get to debate whether our country was going to invade Afghanistan or Iraq. They went where their country asked them to go, when their country asked them to go there. And that's what's being asked of you. You didn't get a chance to debate what kind of trial you would hear, or what judge you would here in front of, or what the lawyers would be like. You went where your country asked you to go when your country asked you to go there. Beyond that, when we think of what it is to
be an American, surely among the most prominent features are how we conduct our foreign policy, including our wars, and how we resolve disputes between citizens, including this one. Before we think we're being asked to sacrifice too much, let's think of the sacrifices others have made, and let's look at this as an opportunity to express some of the reasons these people felt our country was worth dying for.
Thank you-all very much.

U.S. District Judge Keith P. Ellison of the Southern District of Texas

Call the clerks office and ask to be exscused. Most cases they will.

True Story.

Was picking a jury once and dude said he would not make a good juror because he was biased against everything and everyone.

The Judge thanked him for his honesty and then said, " Public Library, Zoo, Litter Detail, or Homeless Shelter?"

Mr. Bias - " Um...what, Judge?"

Judge - " Well, the Court certainly respects you bias and would never dream of trying to change you heartfelt convictions, but certainly you understand that community service is vital to our community. Thus, as a reward for your honesty, I am providing you a choice of alternative service rather than randomly assigning one to you. So, which week of service would you prefer over struggling with your bias here?"

Needless to say....the ability to be open-minded fell upon this guy like he had just got the Holy Ghost.