re: First Christmas Minus a Loved One?

My Dad. Passed away in August.

My Dad died 3 days ago as well. This has been a strange Christmas. We are all feeling kind of numb, trying to hold it together for my Mom's sake.

Mixed a drink, went to my Dads grave, and poured some out for him. I hate Christmas or pretty much any big family get together now. shite just isn't the same.

Have lost several family members and close friends. Both parents are gone. Two years ago, my buddy died on Christmas morning, leaving two beautiful children and a wife behind. Think of them often, especially this time of year.

Wish I could tell you it gets easier or better with time but that's a lie. It doesn't. So, as cold as it may sound to some, I try to move on and live what life I have as best I can and like to think it is what they would want and therefore the best way to honor them. So, when I find myself thinking of them I say a short, private prayer and focus instead on the good things around me like my kids. Don't want to forget them but also don't want to wallow in sadness.

One thing about life, it goes on. Let the living live and hope that in some way, somewhere, I will get to see those loved ones again.

It's the reason I never visit a loved one's grave site after burial. They're not there.