Friends,

In a twist of fate, I now receive my optical, dental, and primary care all in Jefferson Parish. On most of these excursions outside of Latoya's domain, I take it upon myself to stop on the way back at one of the many watering holes that trace the Veterans Boulevard skyline. As I did so again last evening it dawned on me that, as I gazed out onto one of south Louisiana's most venerable thoroughfares, I was in a unique position to share with you fine citizens the highlights of the area's sports watching opportunities in a way that would make Nat King Cole proud.

For the record, Swamp Room would have been the easy #1 on this list. RIP old friend.

10. Out of Bounds

During the New Orleans Hornets' Dan Dickau era, I often ran into the esteemed point guard at this Clearview adjacent ale house. The best advice he ever gave me was to avoid getting involved with women who have a tattoo of a dagger.

9. Hooters

The sole chain on the list, Hooters makes the cut largely due to a waitress by the name of Ali who made a man out of me during Mardi Gras 2000. No pics.

8. Fatty's Sports Bar

A stone's throw from MSY, Fatty's is the ideal spot to drown your sorrows while awaiting Frontier to provide an update on your flight's delay. Fatty's also has an outstanding assortment of any and all flavors of SKYY vodka for the Mrs.

7. Sidelines Bar and Grill

In the early aughts New Orleans Arena, it was customary for the winners of the boat race on the big screen during the 3rd time out of the 2nd quarter to receive a coupon for a free appetizer at Copeland's Fire and Ice. One such location was in Metairie and I, being excellent at predicting boat race winners, would frequently win said coupon and take the then Ms. DS to an evening at Mr. Copeland’s eatery after the game. On the way, however, we would always stop at the nearby Sindeline's for a bud light to check the west coast games.

6. Perry's Sports Bar & Grill

Some will be aghast to see Perry's this far down the list. It's true they have excellent steak and are open 24 hours on the weekends (pre covid), I've never found the bar seating to tv ratio to be to my liking.

5. Triple Play Lounge

Home to Veterans Boulevard's best Halloween karaoke party, Triple Play sometimes is forgotten in the shadow of Out of Bounds, but low key is actually the better bar. Ask for Kelsey to get the more generous pours.

4. Jiggers Grill

This high almost entirely because of the food, Jiggers tends to be forgotten in this conversation even more than Triple Play. It's true that the ambiance isn't as authentically divey as others on this list, the food quality more than makes up for it.

3. Moby's

Now we're getting to the heavy hitters. Moby's does everything so well it's almost as good as my beloved Markeys in Bywater, USA. When driving down Vets I will pull over for a drink at Moby's even if nothing is on but a Rays-Twins matinee.

2. The Tavern on Vets

Classy even by Kenner standards, The Tavern on Vets is one of the newer kids on the block but really goes above and beyond to create an environment even a Walk Ons would be envious of. LSU and Saints memorabilia all over the restaurant, The Tavern is awash in Louisiana Sports History. Strongly recommend.

1. Hurricane's

tGOAT of GOAT's, Hurricanes brings the best of Orleans Parish out of her borders. I have spent many an LSU away Saturday watching wall to wall college football at this icon. I had a bit of PTSD from the Miles era road frustrations, and even briefly boycotted after the 2009 Ole Miss debacle, but my old friend keeps drawing me back.

The sports bar is a staple of Louisiana culture, and as our teams have enjoyed more success over the past few decades, so too have our sports bars. Veterans Boulevard gives us a multitude of opportunities to celebrate that culture, I urge each of you to stop by these titans of industry on your next trip to Jefferson Parish.

Yours,

Draconian Sanctions

This post was edited on 10/6/20 at 1:14 pm