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re: Divoced baws of the OT. How did it go down?

Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:18 pm to
Posted by LCA131
Home of the Fake Sig lines
Member since Feb 2008
75019 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:18 pm to
Have y'all figured out why you both want to cheat?
Posted by Johnny3tears
Somewhere in La
Member since Jan 2012
2822 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:19 pm to
Yes. I wish I was making that shite up. Side chick is pissed, wife is pissed. But she wants to stick around.
Posted by StupidBinder
Jawja
Member since Oct 2017
6392 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:19 pm to
quote:

It’s difficult for me, from a motivational standpoint without it. It’s a lot easier for me to force myself to go through with all of the little annoying disgusting details and chores if they are part of working towards a larger goal, like the guy who gives up watching college football for a couple hours on a Saturday so he and his wife can go shopping together. He wouldn’t do that just for himself, but he’ll do it for her and their marriage.


This just means you’re normal.

“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop” is a stronger truism than people realize. Rarely, some guys can go through life without any idea/entity/people/relationships that they regard as superordinate to themselves. But most guys will literally degenerate into self-destruction without it.
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
281853 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:20 pm to
quote:

It’s a lot easier for me to force myself to go through with all of the little annoying disgusting details and chores if they are part of working towards a larger goal,


If that's happeniñg you're not in the right situation.

quote:

ike the guy who gives up watching college football for a couple hours on a Saturday so he and his wife can go shopping together. He wouldn’t do that just for himself, but he’ll do it for her and their marriage.


In a healthy situation, these things aren't chores, and aren't expected by the wife.

You should 100% be comfortable with being who you are regardless f whom you are with.
Posted by Johnny3tears
Somewhere in La
Member since Jan 2012
2822 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:21 pm to
She said she cheated because she wasn’t happy. I cheated because I was pissed she cheated and wasn’t happy. We are in counseling now. Everything is fine right now, I’m just worried about what’s going to happen once this baby is born.
Posted by Kirk Herbstreit
in the outhouse
Member since Jan 2005
5961 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:21 pm to
My thought is that our society is to blame. Look at an average family of four. Mom and Dad both work full-time jobs and when they get off work they have to come back home shuttle the kids to this practice or that recital and then worry about helping the kids with homework all while making dinner and spending at least some time with the kids. After all that, there is no time for Mom and Dad to spend any time together because they are exhausted. They are stuck on the rat wheel of trying to keep up with the joneses. One day they realize that their lives are not their lives anymore and they are just pawns in the game of society.
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
105442 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:25 pm to
That's what parenting is. If you don't want that don't have kids.
Posted by Lithium
Member since Dec 2004
63626 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:26 pm to
Married for 27 years. Found out my ex had an attorney when balancing the checkbook. Ex moved to Florida with her college BFYoungest was starting to LSU. I moved to Baton Rouge until the last 2 lithettes graduated. Best advice my buddy gave me during the divorce "you're gonna get fricked and once it's done move on". Moved to the coast in Fairhope and life is good. That was 7 years ago.
Posted by The Spleen
Member since Dec 2010
38865 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:28 pm to
quote:

Look at an average family of four. Mom and Dad both work full-time jobs and when they get off work they have to come back home shuttle the kids to this practice or that recital and then worry about helping the kids with homework all while making dinner and spending at least some time with the kids. After all that, there is no time for Mom and Dad to spend any time together because they are exhausted.


This is our life, and 2 or 3 weeks can go by in a blink and we realize we haven't invested any time in each other.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
51532 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:33 pm to
quote:

Been married to my wife for 5 years. Last year she cheated on me, I left filled for divorce but ended up not going through with it. About 6 months ago I cheated on her and now ole girl is pregnant. My wife decides to stick around, new baby is due in may. I’ll let you guys know how that shite plays out. Hopping for the best, don’t know what’s going to happen.

This is fricked up dude.
Posted by notiger1997
Metairie
Member since May 2009
60670 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:36 pm to
quote:

This is our life, and 2 or 3 weeks can go by in a blink and we realize we haven't invested any time in each other.


WE always stressed the importance of making some us time. Even if it was just going out to eat a couple of times a month or having a movie watch on a Friday night.

A lot of what we did that took up time was bringing the kids to all their events, but we both kind of enjoyed the activities.
Posted by StupidBinder
Jawja
Member since Oct 2017
6392 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:41 pm to
quote:

That's what parenting is. If you don't want that don't have kids.


I would challenge that and say that you can be a parent without making your family kid-centered and risking your marriage.
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
105442 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:44 pm to
I'm talking about your life and your time not being your own. That is what having family and responsibility is about. A lot of divorces happen because one or both spouses don't want to come to grips with that inconvenient truth.
Posted by LSUJML
Central
Member since May 2008
49940 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:46 pm to
quote:

Been married to my wife for 5 years. Last year she cheated on me, I left filled for divorce but ended up not going through with it. About 6 months ago I cheated on her and now ole girl is pregnant. My wife decides to stick around, new baby is due in may. I’ll let you guys know how that shite plays out. Hopping for the best, don’t know what’s going to happen.


This deserves its own thread
Posted by bod312
Member since Jul 2015
846 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:48 pm to
quote:

I would challenge that and say that you can be a parent without making your family kid-centered and risking your marriage.


I would argue to be a good parent your family must be kid-centered. The kids should not take a back seat. The issue is that being kid-centered should not lead to risking your marriage. A family being kid-centered also does not mean there is no alone time for the parents.
Posted by Hangover Haven
Metry
Member since Oct 2013
29788 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:48 pm to
quote:

My thought is that our society is to blame.



You basically described my life in a nutshell...

Our twins are 10, those last 10 years are a blur. Today’s my wife’s birthday, she’s 42, we’ve been together since she was 24. Took her to lunch today, first time it’s just been us in a while... We got to sit down and have a real adult conversation..
This post was edited on 2/17/20 at 2:56 pm
Posted by sjmabry
Texas
Member since Aug 2013
18603 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:51 pm to
quote:

Yes. I wish I was making that shite up. Side chick is pissed, wife is pissed. But she wants to stick around.

Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
51532 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:52 pm to
quote:

This deserves its own thread

Whenever I'm having a bad day I can always come to the OT and instantly feel better
Posted by jchamil
Member since Nov 2009
17977 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:54 pm to
quote:

She said she cheated because she wasn’t happy. I cheated because I was pissed she cheated and wasn’t happy. We are in counseling now. Everything is fine right now, I’m just worried about what’s going to happen once this baby is born.


This is where I would insert the "this is fine" meme if I were more computer savvy
Posted by The Spleen
Member since Dec 2010
38865 posts
Posted on 2/17/20 at 2:56 pm to
quote:

Took her to lunch today



Lunch during the week is where the wife and I steal the most time for ourselves. Especially on Fridays because she works from home most Fridays.

Couple of weeks ago we just went through the Wendy's drive through and sat in the car at a park eating and talking.
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