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re: Dating single moms can be dicey at best

Posted on 6/3/15 at 12:38 pm to
Posted by RDRGeaux09
New Orleans
Member since Jul 2013
1186 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 12:38 pm to
My fiancé was a single mom when I first met her. Her son was eight and I didn't meet him until we were like a year in a half into the relationship. He's ten going on eleven right now and we have a great relationship. I guess it helps that the dad is not in the picture at all
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
62373 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 12:45 pm to
quote:

Hit and quit single moms, period. Why deal with another man's children? Why deal with a woman who may have made bad life choices? Why bail out a single mom who is likely looking for financial security from you? Men can still find good looking single women in our 30's and even 40's. In fact, we are likely in our prime around 30-40. Why settle for baggage when other better, younger options are available to you?


Words of wisdom.
Posted by DCtiger1
Member since Jul 2009
11093 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 12:47 pm to
quote:

Words of wisdom


Grow up douche bag
Posted by Weaver
Madisonville, LA
Member since Nov 2005
28040 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 1:06 pm to
Been together with mine for 16 years. I didn't have a burning desire to get married. When we met, she had a 4 and 5 year old daughter. Ex was a dick. It was a little tough the first few years, but it worked out once we got our own place. We have had our ups and downs, but the dad was never a big part of their lives and I made a big difference in theirs. They are 23 and 21 now. Yes I expect to get a lot of haters saying you are a bitch for taking care of someone else's kids. I don't see it that way. I treat them like my own and they treat me like their dad. It is all good.
Posted by White Roach
Member since Apr 2009
9666 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 1:11 pm to
I married a single mom... But my situation is a bit different. I knew her kid before her and already built a relationship with him... Then when I met her she was absolutely drop dead gorgeous, and single, and when she pursued me I did not hesitate.

2 years later we are married and her son and I have a great relationship, he is 4.

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I'm happy this has worked out so well for you, but I've got to ask, how do you establish a relationship with a 2 y/o without knowing the child's single mother? Do you work at a daycare center and the father or grandparent dropped junior off?
Maybe it's a typo, and the boy is now 14 and played sports where you coached...
Posted by White Roach
Member since Apr 2009
9666 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 1:13 pm to
My fiancé was a single mom when I first met her. Her son was eight and I didn't meet him until we were like a year in a half into the relationship. He's ten going on eleven right now and we have a great relationship. I guess it helps that the dad is not in the picture at all.
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How do you avoid an 8 y/o that (presumably) lives with the woman you're dating for a year and a half?
Posted by ElderTiger
Planet Earth
Member since Dec 2010
7665 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 1:14 pm to
quote:

I guess it helps that the dad is not in the picture at all


Unfortunately this is a big factor. Years ago I dated a single mom who was a great gal dealing with her situation. Things were going great until her ex's post divorce relationship crashed. He started working on his ex through their child. It didn't work out from there. It's been that way for her ever since. I ran into her a few years back and she was a mess. She's still single, the ex is still at it but the daughter has evidently turned out OK since she doesn't talk to either parent anymore.
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
62373 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 1:19 pm to
quote:

Grow up douche bag



Why so sensitive? I get that you have swallowed the captain save-a-ho fairy tale and that's fine. But for every nice story about single moms who have fallen on hard times, there are countless stories of women who have been placed on a pedestal by a society that encourages them to abandon their families and use the legal system to extract resources from men.

Sorry, I have higher standards than that. If that makes me a douche bag, so be it.
Posted by RileyTime
Gulf Breeze, FL
Member since Oct 2008
7052 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 1:24 pm to
quote:

I'm happy this has worked out so well for you, but I've got to ask, how do you establish a relationship with a 2 y/o without knowing the child's single mother? Do you work at a daycare center and the father or grandparent dropped junior off? Maybe it's a typo, and the boy is now 14 and played sports where you coached...


Haha well it's certainly none of those... I was roommates with his Dad, but when he moved his girlfriend and her child in I ultimately had to find a new place to live... Once I was no longer his roommate my wife asked me if I'd like to have lunch one day, of course I said yes and of course I told him and he said he didn't care that we are both adults and we can do what we want, so therefore I went on said date.

The Dad and I still have a good relationship and he has since said he didn't care because he knew I would be good for his son and that he didn't have to worry about anyone else she would be dating.

My step-son was 18 months when I moved in and I met my wife a year later when we ran into her at a going away party for one of my friends.
This post was edited on 6/3/15 at 1:26 pm
Posted by DCtiger1
Member since Jul 2009
11093 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 1:33 pm to
Not sensitive at all. I actually feel sorry for guys like you. I'm sure you're such a great catch. It's sad that you generalize all single mom's as hoes and all men that date them as buying into the save a hoe mentality. That is beyond childish. But continue on with your holier than thou mentality.
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
62373 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 1:44 pm to
quote:

Not sensitive at all.


A little.

quote:

I actually feel sorry for guys like you.



No need to.

quote:

I'm sure you're such a great catch.


Not too bad if I do say so myself, but I'm married, so it really doesn't matter.

quote:

It's sad that you generalize all single mom's as hoes and all men that date them as buying into the save a hoe mentality.


But I didn't. Read my post again. I said there are exceptions.

Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
62373 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 1:45 pm to
quote:

Haha well it's certainly none of those... I was roommates with his Dad, but when he moved his girlfriend and her child in I ultimately had to find a new place to live... Once I was no longer his roommate my wife asked me if I'd like to have lunch one day, of course I said yes and of course I told him and he said he didn't care that we are both adults and we can do what we want, so therefore I went on said date. The Dad and I still have a good relationship and he has since said he didn't care because he knew I would be good for his son and that he didn't have to worry about anyone else she would be dating. My step-son was 18 months when I moved in and I met my wife a year later when we ran into her at a going away party for one of my friends.


I'm still confused.
Posted by bulldog95
North Louisiana
Member since Jan 2011
21184 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 1:48 pm to
I'm a single dad 38 (3 kids) and dating a single mom 32 (3 kids). It's rough at times living apart in different houses and towns and work schedules but we make it work.

Her kids like me and my kids like her.

I pay my child support and see my kids every chance I get (kind of hard when I can't have overnight guests but we make it work) her kids dad sees them regularly but doesn't pay a penny in support and refuses to. He told her that she shouldn't have left him and should have just stayed married regardless even though he decided he would rather get dick then get vagina. I know I know.

It just seems we both understand what the other is going through and know where we stand with each other. Will it ever get more serious. I don't know and frankly I'm not looking that far ahead.

I had my fun (several hit it and quit it) between my ex wife leaving and me meeting my new SO. I can honestly say she is the only one I brought my kids around because after I got to know her I knew she would treat my kids as if they were her own and she does.
Posted by rebeloke
Member since Nov 2012
16994 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 1:53 pm to
Posted by RileyTime
Gulf Breeze, FL
Member since Oct 2008
7052 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 2:57 pm to
quote:

I'm still confused


My wife is my ex-roommates ex... They had a child together, that said child is my step-son.
Posted by Tubedog13
Member since May 2009
3632 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 3:07 pm to
Just wow at some of these posts. I'm 40 and divorced with 2 boys. Why would anyone want to get back involved in a serious relationship or marriage after a divorce? I view women in a totally different light than before my marriage. Before I would date, break up, date a new one, etc. until I met my wife. Now it seems like so much work just to juggle being a single parent and a job that not only do I feel like I don't have the time to put in to a relationship but don't want to be bothered by a woman's bullshite. Seriously, all of the nagging about every fricking thing doesn't exist in my life anymore. Add someone else's kids to that mix and it just sounds extremely miserable. Good luck to all of you needy chumps who can't stand to be alone.
Posted by bgtiger
Prairieville
Member since Dec 2004
11919 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 3:11 pm to
Do you have custody of the two boys?
Posted by Tubedog13
Member since May 2009
3632 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 3:18 pm to
Yes. But the few days they're with her I just want to chill alone and do my own thing or hang out with my friends if they can get away. All of my friends are married so they can't get out too often. But hearing the stuff they deal with on a daily basis just reminds of how miserable being married is. I can do what I want when I want without permission.
Posted by LucasP
Member since Apr 2012
21618 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 3:19 pm to
It helps if you do your research on the dad. Try and wear similar clothes and excel in areas that he did. This confuses a kid's small brain and makes him respect you. She sees that respect and falls in line. It's nature.
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
62373 posts
Posted on 6/3/15 at 3:30 pm to
quote:

My wife is my ex-roommates ex... They had a child together, that said child is my step-son.


Got it. Had to go back and re-read. It's been a long day.
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