re: Been dealing with depression for 10 years. Went to counseling today for the first time.

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DeionDeion

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Nice work. Props to you for tearing it down.

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My whole goal is to get through this shite without being on prescription meds again

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You posted earlier you were on one drug and felt emotionless....apparently giving up on pharmaceutical help after the experience.

Completely anecdotal, but I had a similar experience on Zoloft. I was deaf and blind to everything going on around me. I was happy again, but isolated. If I went to a social event I had to drink to become invested and show any personality whatsoever...Zoloft and alcohol don't go together well, as exhibited by my making a complete arse of myself on multiple occasions. While on Lexapro, both my mother and my grandmother passed. I barely shed a tear for my grandmother (who was an incredibly important person in my life), didn't show much emotion for my mom until I had to give a eulogy. I was basically a zombie.

I went back to my doctor and told him I'd had enough...it wasn't worth it. He prescribed me a low dose of Lexapro. Completely different experience. I 'feel' a lot but my anxiety has been basically eliminated.

It's important to remember that depression and anxiety are chemical imbalances in your brain. Sure, counseling may provide you with a way to deal with the symptoms of the imbalance but it cannot physiologically neutralize the imbalance like meds can. Find something that works for you.

Stopping posting is easy, quitting reading the posts of others is hard.

Good Luck

5mg is available but there are questions how therapeutic that dosage is. I take 10mg. Dosages go as high as 40mg, I believe.

Prayers for you.