re: Russell Shepard's new encouraging tweet

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frick it, we're going long.

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quote:

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Is that Shepard? I think he’s triple-covered. You know what? frick it. I’m throwing it downfield.

Yeah, I see Blue open on the flank. But frick that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I’m fricking Sexy Zach Mettenberger. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can’t, I bet I’ll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.

What’s that? I should throw a quick slant? frick that. That’s gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fricking football. You can’t just expect wins to come to you. You can’t massage that shite. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shite out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You’re a pussy. This ain’t John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Metty’s got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.

Okay, I’m throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Gators cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fricking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

This is Zach Mettenberger we’re talking about here. We’re talking 222 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Zachettes that I am fricking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it’s worth. It tells them I throw like I frick. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.

Tell me you’re not turned on right now. I am.

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