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Posted on 11/29/11 at 1:58 pm to TriumphTiger
No correlation to the Tuscaloosa tornado intended:
Q: How is a tornado like a divorce in Alabama?
A: Either way, somebody's losing a trailer home.
Q: How is a tornado like a divorce in Alabama?
A: Either way, somebody's losing a trailer home.
Posted on 11/29/11 at 1:59 pm to TriumphTiger
What does a Bama graduate call an LSU graduate?
Boss
Boss
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:00 pm to oompaw
Q: Why do Alabama graduates keep their diplomas on the dash of their vehicle?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spots
A: So they can park in the handicapped spots
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:01 pm to oompaw
Q: What do an LSU fan and a Bama fan have in common?
A: Neither went to Bama
A: Neither went to Bama
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:13 pm to TriumphTiger
Two Alabama Engineering students were tasked to measure the height of a flag pole as a class assignment. They decided to measure the flag pole outside of Bryant-Denny. While attempting this task one gump would hold the tape while the other climbed the flag pole with the other end of the tape. Much to their disappointment the student climbing the pole kept sliding down and could not get to the top. An LSU graduate was observing from a distance and suggested that the gumps disconnect the flag pole and measure the pole while on the ground. The Alabama students enraged by the suggestion yelled out " We want to know how tall it is not how long it is you idiot"
Alabama's worst air disaster occurred today when a small two-seater cessna 152 plane, piloted by two University of Alabama students, crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. University of Alabama search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is an Crimson Tide fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they were Crimson Tide fans too. All the hands in the room exploded into the air like flashy fireworks, except for one young boy who chose not to raise his hand. The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different. "Because I'm an LSU Tiger fan," said the little boy proudly. The teacher got a perturbed, her face turned red and she asked the little boy why he is a LSU Tiger fan instead of a Crimson Tide fan. The boy answered "Well, my mom and dad are Tigers, so I'm a Tiger too." The teacher, now very angry said, "That's no reason. What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" The little boy paused a second, smiled and replied, "Well then, I guess that would make me a Crimson Tide fan."
Alabama's worst air disaster occurred today when a small two-seater cessna 152 plane, piloted by two University of Alabama students, crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. University of Alabama search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is an Crimson Tide fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they were Crimson Tide fans too. All the hands in the room exploded into the air like flashy fireworks, except for one young boy who chose not to raise his hand. The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different. "Because I'm an LSU Tiger fan," said the little boy proudly. The teacher got a perturbed, her face turned red and she asked the little boy why he is a LSU Tiger fan instead of a Crimson Tide fan. The boy answered "Well, my mom and dad are Tigers, so I'm a Tiger too." The teacher, now very angry said, "That's no reason. What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" The little boy paused a second, smiled and replied, "Well then, I guess that would make me a Crimson Tide fan."
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:17 pm to TriumphTiger
Alabama's kicker tried to commit suicide by hanging himself after the LSU game, however, he couldnt kick the chair out from underneath him.
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:18 pm to Sarge
How can you tell if a Bama fan is married?
There are spit stains on the passenger side of his truck.
There are spit stains on the passenger side of his truck.
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:19 pm to Sarge
How do you get a redneck to vote for OBAMA?
Put a G in front of his name.....GOBAMA
Put a G in front of his name.....GOBAMA
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:32 pm to pabgolf
Why can't the University of Alabama have Driver's Ed and Sex Ed on the same day?
They only have one mule
They only have one mule
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:34 pm to pabgolf
If you armor all the tires on your mobile home because your buddies are coming over to watch the game... you might be a Bama fan.
If you buy Tide detergent because you think it will benefit your favorite football team... you might be a Bama fan.
If you poison trees in a grove that a rival team's fans gather in because you think that it might avenge your team's loss... you might be a Bama fan
If you buy Tide detergent because you think it will benefit your favorite football team... you might be a Bama fan.
If you poison trees in a grove that a rival team's fans gather in because you think that it might avenge your team's loss... you might be a Bama fan
This post was edited on 11/29/11 at 2:39 pm
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:36 pm to FUBAR
A man walks into a store says to the clerk, "I'd like a pair of red shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white shoes." The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, "You must be an Alabama fan!" The man proclaims with pride, "How could you tell, was it the color scheme!" The clerk looks at him and says "No, this is a hardware store."
A Tiger fan goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Alabama joke. The bartender says, "Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I'm an Alabama fan. See that guy at the end of the bar? He's 6-4 and weighs 250 and he's an Alabama fan, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He's 6-6 and weighs 280 and he's an Alabama fan, too! Now, do you still want to tell your Alabama joke?" The guy says, "Nah." To which the bartender smiles and says, "What's the matter? Are you chicken?" The guy says, "Nah. I just don't want to have to explain it three times."
What is the most common line used by an Alabama alum?
Would you like fries with that?
Why did they build the Mercedes plant so close to the University of Alabama?
Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right down the road.
A Tiger fan goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Alabama joke. The bartender says, "Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I'm an Alabama fan. See that guy at the end of the bar? He's 6-4 and weighs 250 and he's an Alabama fan, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He's 6-6 and weighs 280 and he's an Alabama fan, too! Now, do you still want to tell your Alabama joke?" The guy says, "Nah." To which the bartender smiles and says, "What's the matter? Are you chicken?" The guy says, "Nah. I just don't want to have to explain it three times."
What is the most common line used by an Alabama alum?
Would you like fries with that?
Why did they build the Mercedes plant so close to the University of Alabama?
Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right down the road.
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:40 pm to oompaw
Why did the Bama helicopter pilot crash?
He got chilly so he turned off the fan.
He got chilly so he turned off the fan.
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:50 pm to liquid rabbit
Why do the trees in Baton Rouge hang to the right?
Cause Bama sucks and A&M blows.
Cause Bama sucks and A&M blows.
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:57 pm to Sarge
quote:it was funny enuf i laughed but what made it funny is that it will happen
Sarge
Posted on 11/29/11 at 2:59 pm to Sarge
An Lsu fan, A Florida Fam, and a Bama fan work at a construction site and sit down for lunch. the LSU fan opens his lunch and says damn PB and J if i get PB and J again I will jump off this building, Then the UF fan opens his lunch and says Damn PN and J if I get PB and J again I will jump off this building. Finally the Alabama Fan opens his lunch and says PB and J If i get PB and J again I will jump off this building. The next day at Lunch the LSU fan opened his and said Ham and swiss Awesome. The the UF opened his and aays Turkey Cool. Finally the Bama fan opened his lunch and said Damn PB and J, and he jumped off the building and killed himself. The LSU fan turned to the UF fan and said you know what the sad part is he makes his own lunch.
Posted on 11/29/11 at 3:00 pm to tigerfan5803
Bama fans have discovered where they live since everyone calls them gumps and their is no city called gump 
:rimshot:
:rimshot: Posted on 11/29/11 at 3:22 pm to Sarge
Two boys in south Louisiana were playing football in their backyard when a rabid dog hopped the fence and started attacking one of the boys. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board from a nearby fence, wedges it under the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck, thereby saving his friends life.
A local television reporter hears of the courageous act and rushes over to interview the boy.
"YOUNG LSU FAN SAVES FRIEND FROM VICIOUS ANIMAL" he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not an LSU fan," the little hero replies.
"Sorry," said the reporter, "since we are in South Louisiana and you were wearing purple and gold, I just assumed you were."
He starts writing again.
"NEW ORLEAN SAINTS FAN RESCUES FRIEND FROM HORRIFIC ATTACK" he jots in his notebook.
"But I'm not an Saints fan either," the boy responds.
"I assumed that everyone in the state of Louisiana
was either a LSU or a Saints fan. Who do you root
for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a 'Bama fan sir," the boy replied.
The reporter starts with a clean sheet of paper from
his notebook and scribbles:
"LITTLE REDNECK BASTARD MURDERS BELOVED FAMILY PET"
A local television reporter hears of the courageous act and rushes over to interview the boy.
"YOUNG LSU FAN SAVES FRIEND FROM VICIOUS ANIMAL" he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not an LSU fan," the little hero replies.
"Sorry," said the reporter, "since we are in South Louisiana and you were wearing purple and gold, I just assumed you were."
He starts writing again.
"NEW ORLEAN SAINTS FAN RESCUES FRIEND FROM HORRIFIC ATTACK" he jots in his notebook.
"But I'm not an Saints fan either," the boy responds.
"I assumed that everyone in the state of Louisiana
was either a LSU or a Saints fan. Who do you root
for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a 'Bama fan sir," the boy replied.
The reporter starts with a clean sheet of paper from
his notebook and scribbles:
"LITTLE REDNECK BASTARD MURDERS BELOVED FAMILY PET"
This post was edited on 11/29/11 at 3:23 pm
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