re: Original GTA V First Impressions Thread

‘GTA V’ A Sophisticated Gaming Experience, Says Man Who Spent 3 Hours Running Over Homeless People With Fire Truck


I love The Onion.


DAYTON, OH—Calling the latest installment of the video game franchise “complex” and “highly nuanced,” local man Kevin Mitchell, who just spent the past 3 hours brutally driving over homeless characters with a stolen fire truck, confirmed Tuesday that Grand Theft Auto V provides a deeply sophisticated gaming experience. “The narrative is dynamic and multilayered, the characterizations are brilliantly assured, and the vast open-world experience creates a style of play that is both revolutionary in design and intellectually stimulating,” Mitchell told reporters, moments before making his in-game character block traffic with a bus to create a 10-car pileup in the middle of the street, toss grenades at unsuspecting pedestrians while standing on top of an ambulance, and jump off a building into the spinning blades of a helicopter. “And nowhere is GTA V more groundbreaking than when it is deftly skewering the vices and follies of contemporary culture with its razor-sharp social commentary.” At press time, Mitchell was remarking on the game’s “stunningly inventive storycraft” while repeatedly kicking a Los Santos resident until blood pooled around their lifeless body.

I am off Friday so plan on playing some then

I only had a few hours to play last night...I ended up spending about 1/3rd of my time playing tennis

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Once I figured out what was going on

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took long enough

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cough cough
frick YOU
cough cough

Hopefully someone can answer this in here: I accidentally shot the two guys robbing the store owner looking for a getaway car, not realizing who one of them was and that they can be used as recruits.

Does anyone know if they come back around or am I gonna have to restart?

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Hopefully someone can answer this in here: I accidentally shot the two guys robbing the store owner looking for a getaway car, not realizing who one of them was and that they can be used as recruits.

Does anyone know if they come back around or am I gonna have to restart?

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hey motherfricker

no spoilers in this thread

depends, does any of this stuff interest you?

Just tricked out a car after randomly stumbling upon a bank truck and looting the contents. I tried to open the door to the armored car when they were in it, didn't work. I don't know what I expected to happen

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I really want to fly jumbo jets.

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there are probably other games out there where you can fly jumbo jets


but prob not as cool as GTA

Did y'all dive into the ocean yet and go under water? Holy shite