re: Your biggest cooking fail?

Cashew chicken in a crock pot. Recipe sounded good and I followed it exactly, but cashews (maybe any nut) should NOT be slow-cooked in liquid for several hours. Mushy, gross, took 2 bites and tossed the whole batch.

Other major disaster happened when I lived in a dorm and my roommate's mom sent her an air-popper popcorn maker. Yea--no more microwaved popcorn! We took it to the kichenette down the hall from our room, plugged it in and started making popcorn. Only problem was we forgot to bring a bowl or anything to put it in--popcorn started pouring out of the hole, all over the counter, the floor, etc. We ran around the kitchen squealing and looking for something to catch it. I found a plastic grocery bag and started catching the hot popcorn in it, which melted holes in the bag so it just fell out of the bag too. I felt like I was in an episode of "I Love Lucy" or some other sit-com.

I tried to make cauliflower gratin. This would require me to make a Bechamel sauce. After baking I took out and let cool. It tasted like sheetrock mud.

Resulting in something like this?

Tried to make venison stroganoff for the office. Put too much flour in the roux, it thickened into a paste.

In case some of you have not seen it, the Friends episode where Rachel makes an English Trifle is worth the time on youtube. I'd link, but blocked here.

I call it welfare casserole. This was a few years ago, and I was trying to empty the pantry. I had

Can of green beans
Boil in bag rice
Cream of mushroom soup
various herbs and spices

In my head, I thought it would be a modified green bean casserole. In reality, it was TOTALLY inedible. The wife and I still laugh about it to this day.