How to cook a f-ing steak?

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Go to the goddamn grocery and get steak. Yes, the grocery. A little ammonia is not going to kill you, you pussy. You want to be all fancy and grass-fed and environmentally conscious, go ahead, I don’t give a shite, just get a fricking steak. Ribeye is good. And, yes, bone-in. Schmuck. Take the steak home. Get a bigass frying pan and put the shite on the stove, cranking the heat up as far as that fricker will go. Take a shitload of salt—rocksalt, you dumb motherfricker, none of that fine-grained crap here—and toss it around the bottom of the pan. When the pan is hot as all frick—it should scorch the shite out of your finger if you’re stupid enough to touch it—put the fricking steak on there

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