re: New IPhone 13 Will Require Vaccination To Unlock Screen

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We here at Apple are doing our part to keep you safe by keeping our sacred products out of the hands of the filthy unvaccinated," said Cook as he paced the stage. "That's why starting with the iPhone 13, all Apple users will be required to scan their vaccination card in order to unlock their iPhones."

The crowd stood to their feet and cheered at the brilliant idea.

"I think it's a brilliant idea," said Apple fan Mavis Bimbasquelch as he walked out of the event. "If those stupid dumb anti-vaxxers don't want to get vaccinated, they can build their own computer company. Also, I hope they die."

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That’s exactly how they are coming at the unvaxxed in reality….treating us a dirty and subhuman. This has been done before with other groups and it didn’t end well!