quote:
I posted a reply to you in the LNST at 3:00 this morning (God knows why I was up at that time). But I said that the "firsts" that occur in the year following the death of a loved one are difficult. I do not have any real advice as to how to make it better.

I know what worked better for me. On a lot of those "big" days, the lead up and dread was harder than the day itself. I would wake up almost every day for a year or so and say to myself, "Today is going to be a good day. I will do something to make it so!" Then in bed or in the shower, I'd think about my husband (lost him 7 years ago and we were married for 34) and give myself a little time to cry, etc and get it out. Then I'd go about my day and try to shut it out so I could function. I tried really hard to not think about it much at night or I could end up crying a long time...not good.

Do you have a good friend or you BF who you could always call when it's getting bad? Make plans! That's helpful as well.

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Posted by lsunurse

Member since Dec 2005

129047 posts

Posted on 8/23/21 at 10:28 am to LaLadyinTx

quote:
Do you have a good friend or you BF who you could always call when it's getting bad?

I do actually. Beachdude (he posted in the thread) is a really good friend of mine and since he knows how it feels to lose a parent…has been a lifesaver at times when I needed someone to talk to. And I have other friends as well (some posters from here actually) that I can always reach out to as well. I spent yesterday afternoon/night with my bf and he was great at keeping me distracted and making me laugh. I know it must be kinda a little awkward for him…we just started dating only a couple months ago. However he tries to be supportive when I need it and I appreciate that. So I do thankfully have others to lean on when I have “bad dad days” as I call them.

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