re: Looking for Parenting Tip

Teenaged girls are the absolute fricking worst. My daughter, about to turn 16, has finally sort of leveled out some but 13-15 were un-fricking-real. Just an irrational, walking devil who could be the sweet baby girl one minute and a minute later acting literally insane.

A couple things we think have helped.

One, definitely get her into counseling. Explain to her that that's her place to air her feelings, explain doctor privilege, and NEVER ask her about any conversations she has with her counselor. If she wants to talk about things they've talked about, that's on her. She desperately needs an adult that she is confident will not judge her. Without prying, perhaps suggest to her that she should talk with her counselor about anger management and/or impulsive behavior....develop strategies that make her stop and think before reacting.

Secondly, she's not a child any longer. You really need to sit down with her and encourage her to swear, talk about whomever she wants in whatever way she wants, and have an adult conversation. No yelling, just some real talk between the two of you. Listen to her. Cede ground on some things you feel can be ceded. Draw lines where necessary using reason and logic. Stress how much you love her and how scared you are of where her current trajectory is heading.

I don't know, man....good luck. Walking on egg shells with the fear of your child harming herself is a VERY shitty way to live, but you've got to be the rock and help her navigate this difficult time in her life.



***to add, according to a psychologist we spoke with, self-harm is WAY up amongst young teenagers. Between social media, the isolation of the past year, etc., a whole lot of kids are pretty fricked up right now. In other words, none of her actions mean that you're necessarily a bad parent or letting her down in some way. Don't get down on yourself.