re: Biggest assholes in the animal kingdom

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Oh, I'm well aware. I get my legs attacked every day for minor offenses like not sharing breakfast bacon or using the bathroom with the door closed. Treats not on time? That's three calf attacks. I offended him this morning by having the audacity to keep a pen on top of a notebook on the coffee table. "What's this doing here? Schwack!" It's my own fault, really, I need to do better.

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I know this is probably gonna fall on deaf ears, but you need to get out NOW. Get a restraining order and maybe even consider moving out of state under an assumed identity. There's nothing more dangerous than a vengeful and vindictive house cat. Godspeed, my brother. And remember, you're not alone.