re: Are orchestral conductors full of shite?

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One question: it seems like there are a lot of people that don't get an opportunity to change the page because they never really stop playing. Do they have the entire performance memorized?

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Yes.
Majority of the time, you've practiced it solo and with band so much that it is memorized or you definitely know how to get around.

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Do they have the notes printed smaller so that they don't have to change pages?

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The complete song is the same length overall, but most of the time each instrument section has sheet music that varies in length of certain bars.
So for example, measure 32 may be on 1st page for Flutes but on 2nd page for Percussion.
This is due to the fact that certain sections of the song you may be playing while others you are "resting" (not playing).
These bars of rest are usually notated as 1 bar that displays how many actual bars you are "resting" to save space.

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One question: it seems like there are a lot of people that don't get an opportunity to change the page because they never really stop playing. Do they have the entire performance memorized? Do they have the notes printed smaller so that they don't have to change pages?

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If it is strings, there are two players per desk (although basses may be 1 per stand), the inside player handles page turns. In addition, if the copyist is worth their salt, they do everything they can to put page turns in an area that causes the least interruption. Don't put a page turn in a long crazy run for example. Also, they will have at least 2 pages open at a time (if the parts are accordion style, they may have more). Barring that, yes, if they have played the piece a lot, they may memorize a bar or so.

Here's Barenboim conducting the Ninth with no score. All from memory. You can also see some of the parts on the stand. Yu can see how much they can see at once.

The 9th