Exact same here. We both are the types to let 99% of shite roll off our backs and rarely feel like any dumb topic is worth fighting over. We are both fairly unemotional people as far as being sensitive/touchy over things, so I imagine that is the reason.

People used to say things like, "It is healthy to fight!" and I always felt like that was just a justification for their own disrespectful relationship. We were both raised by parents who are still happily married and have never called each other a name or been disrespectful to each other.

The things some friends have to deal with, such as husbands not pulling their weight around the house or making mean comments about them to other people "as a joke".. yeah, that has never ever happened. He is more likely to be at the sink arms deep in soapy water than me at times. And we would never say something hurtful or mean to each other.

Don't get me wrong.. we are sarcastic TO each other and give each other shite, but nobody hurts the other's feelings.

Things like happy hour with friends and whatnot (unless specifically "girls night" or whatever).. If both of us are free, we always go together. Not in annoying way. We both genuinely enjoy the other person being there around our friends and hanging out. I feel lucky every day.

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Posted by 777Tiger

Member since Mar 2011

73856 posts

Posted on 4/27/21 at 9:25 am to LouisianaLady

quote:
He is more likely to be at the sink arms deep in soapy water

that's me, don't know how it got to be like that but I feel like I'm on eternal KP

This post was edited on 4/27/21 at 9:27 am

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Posted by molsusports

Member since Jul 2004

36166 posts

Posted on 4/27/21 at 9:30 am to LouisianaLady

quote:
People used to say things like, "It is healthy to fight!" and I always felt like that was just a justification for their own disrespectful relationship. We were both raised by parents who are still happily married and have never called each other a name or been disrespectful to each other.

Agree x a billion

If you grow up in a house where your parents bicker or worse you think its normal or even justify it as healthy somehow.

If you grew up in a house where respect is maintained (even in crisis) you have a completely different experience in relationships.

I think its VERY hard for a mixed emotional marriage like this to survive.

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Posted by RogerTheShrubber

Juneau, AK

Member since Jan 2009

262999 posts

Posted on 4/27/21 at 9:39 am to LouisianaLady

quote:
People used to say things like, "It is healthy to fight!"

Those people are retarded.

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Posted by GeauxTigerTM

Member since Sep 2006

30596 posts

Posted on 4/27/21 at 10:47 am to LouisianaLady

quote:
People used to say things like, "It is healthy to fight!" and I always felt like that was just a justification for their own disrespectful relationship. We were both raised by parents who are still happily married and have never called each other a name or been disrespectful to each other.

This is one of the places where my wife and I are different. My wife's family was much more Brady Brunch than mine. Her Mom and Dad are about to make their 50th Anniversary in a few weeks. They ate dinner together every night, had what most people would consider as wholesome an upbringing as you could imagine. My mom died when I was really young, and had she lived I'm fairly certainly my parents would have split up, as I found out much later that my Dad was a serial cheater. My house hold was fairly crazy growing up, but I always just slid through it. I was never wired for all the drama. So it was one of those things that fit well when we met. While I had not grown up that way, it was the life I craved, so I fit perfectly.

quote:
We both genuinely enjoy the other person being there around our friends and hanging out. I feel lucky every day.

Yup. There have been times in our life where we've worked together. I mean...sure I love her, but I like her as well so I like spending time with her. If I didn't like her, what would be the point of all this? There are times when instead of telling her I love her, I tell her I like her and wink at her.

And just because this topic kind of demands this song...don't let his appearance get in the way of how sweet the song is at heart.

Tim Minchin - If I Didn't Have You

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Posted by Darla Hood

Near that place by that other place

Member since Aug 2012

14068 posts

Posted on 4/27/21 at 9:50 pm to LouisianaLady

quote:
We were both raised by parents who are still happily married and have never called each other a name or been disrespectful to each other.

We don’t say mean things to each other or call names, either. Except the time, very early in the marriage, when I jokingly called him a fool (for something dumb, I’m sure). To which he replied, “I might be a fool, but you are now Mrs. Fool.”

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Posted by Sun God

Member since Jul 2009

44874 posts

Posted on 4/27/21 at 9:58 pm to LouisianaLady

I love Mrs Sun God more than anything other than the little ones but we absolutely have a huge argument every month or so

ETA: didn’t start til we had a kid

This post was edited on 4/27/21 at 10:01 pm

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