re: For folks with 2+ kids, what made you stop at 2 or go for a 3rd one?

quote:

---

Looking for validation or someone to commend you for doing that?

---

WTH. They would like a girl. I asked a question. I'm not looking for anything. I'm retired & my kids are grown.

Cost, availability of time, and careers

We stopped at 3

Daycare here is $1000/mo per kid minimum for a place you can trust. My wife quit her job for several years as opposed to paying over $36k for daycare.

By the time we would have had kid #4, our oldest was 8. Activities like scouts, sports, friends...all take time. It’s hard to keep dividing up time and feel great about it.

By the time we would have had #4, I was a director level and traveling constantly. Time wasn’t a commodity I had to spare.

About this point, I started worrying more about paying for 3 cars and insurance, college costs, etc... and a 4th kid felt like a huge burden.

That being said, we now say we wished we had gone for a 4th... to even things out! 4 would be my max. I guess we still could, but the wife just turned 40, not sure we are up for it.

A friend of mine has 7 kids. She is an amazing mother, and doesn’t work. Her husband has a good job, but her dad was very wealthy... a nice benefit to have. One thing I notice is how the older kids are expected to be parents, too. I know it works for some, but it doesn’t seem fair to me. My mom was one of 9, and I have heard stories from her about having to take care of siblings, and it wasn’t a positive.

Bottom line, have as many kids as you can afford dollar wise and time wise. Don’t have too many kids if you can’t spare either of those things.