Texas to vote on whether to force all other states to secede

quote:

---

If the measure passes, Texans plan to then go to all the other states and fire their many many guns in the air while yelling, “Git!” until the other states drop out of the union. Texas will then put the nation’s capital somewhere more sensible, like Lubbock.

Not all Texans support this idea. “Don’t seem neighborly,” said “Tex” Conklin, another Texan. “Plus, I don’t think we gots to kick out all the states. Like, I ain’t got nut’n against Idaho. Maybe we just kick out California.” He and every Texan within earshot then spit at the mention of that name.

---