re: False River pleasure boating.

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I figured wake-driven chop would be an issue due to the absence of safe harbors or sloughs.

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I hate it and we have a pontoon boat. It slowly has gotten worse over the years with more people installing sea walls thus less wake absorption; combined with bigger wake boats equipped with ballast for wake surfing.
It is not terrible, but it in a smaller aluminum boat it can be exhausting if the river is packed.

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I hate dealing with water patrol, even when squeaky clean.

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They are not terrible, just was saying be mindful of it. If you are young with a younger crowd on the boat, they may stop you for a quick check. Otherwise, you have to be doing something pretty stupid to get stopped. The average Joe with his wife and kids just enjoying the water very rarely will be stopped. Most of my run ins with them have been very pleasant, and this is coming from someone under 30.

Regardless of where you go,
Safe boating!