re: Life changes quick

May of 2019 I found our my wife was cheating on me. 12 years together and 2 kids.

Completely changed my life. Sent me spiraling into a depression I never knew existed. The more I learned, the deeper the betrayal became. I found out she had friends essentially urging her cheating on. I was in a dark place with very few people I could trust to talk to. Family and friends start taking sides in a divorce, I completely wrote off anyone who took the side of an adultering liar.

Being cheated on is a motherfricker. It's treason on the most intimate level. It really fricks with a person. I spent months wallowing in self pity wondering "why me?" A year later I'm "better", but I'll never be the same I once was. I haven't dated since and have little desire to. No way I can trust another person on a level deep enough to sustain a relationship. Luckily, I was able to be aggressive in custody and have my kids more than she does. Idgaf about her but my kids mean everything to me. I do my best to shield them from my sadness, but they're smart enough to know that I'm hurting; that hurts more than the initial betrayal of my ex.