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TulaneLSU's Top 10 Waffle House dishes

Posted on 12/27/19 at 5:15 pm
Posted by TulaneLSU
Member since Aug 2003
Member since Dec 2007
13298 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 5:15 pm
My Dear Friends,

A month ago, I had never been to a Waffle House. Thanks to a thread started by Bayou_Tiger_225 on December 8, I’ve now been there three times and I love it. This quite surprises me, as I’ve never been keen on eating out for breakfast.

I find high end breakfast and brunch restaurants like Brennan’s and Commanders to be pompous and not very good. Breakfast should be simple, savory, and dressing it up with fancy ingredients has never appealed to me. Middle tier restaurants like Ruby Slipper, the former Petunia’s and Bluebird Cafe, and Tartine, which I now boycott due to their political maneuvering this past summer, to me were never consistent or good enough to warrant my patronage when I am capable of making bread, bacon, and eggs with the same level of artistry, but with more consistency and far more economically.

Does it bother anyone else that Tiffin Inn Pancake House disappeared with no real pomp, memorial, or circumstance? That was a decent mid-range breakfast joint. I only bring it up because recently I was watching the beautifully acted Welcome to the Riley’s or maybe it was another movie with Lance E Nichols, but Tiffin Inn was certainly featured.

As a child, I occasionally ate at the lower end Shoney’s breakfast buffet, which I thought was disgusting even then. Denny’s and the latecomer to NOLA, IHOP, were even worse. The idea of microwaved breakfasts at McDonald’s even thirty years later makes my stomach turn. And Burger King’s French toast sticks might be good enough for Martini, but for me, I wouldn’t feed them to a dog. Never in a million years would I consider donuts a real breakfast. Donuts and beignets for me are a dessert, not a breakfast.

My dear friend and newly redeemed Super Saint informed me that there has been a Waffle House on Elysian Fields for many years. I assume this was the first Waffle House in the NOLA Metro. Waffle House tried to move into New Orleans in 1982 in Westend, but public resistance blocked them from moving from a site across from Windjammer, near Russell’s Marina Grill today.

Slidell had a Waffle House at 180 Gause, where Clear View Glass Works sits today, in the early 1980s, but Slidell really shares very little in common with the NOLA Metro, and its early Waffle House strengthens the argument. By the mid-1980s,, Covington had gotten its first Waffle House. Covington’s Waffle House at 110 Holiday Blvd is, in my opinion, the most famous and most significant Waffle House in the world. It was the favorite restaurant of genius writer, an inspiration and influence of mine, Walker Percy. Percy stated this Waffle House and Galatoire’s were both his favorite restaurants. Why? He said you could always rely on a good meal at either. And, just as importantly, you could expect an interesting conversation at the table next to yours.

Waffle House spread throughout the Northshore in the mid-1990s with two opening in Mandeville. With WH to the north and east, the company in 1997, taking a page from Winfield Scott’s Anaconda Plan, attempted to put the city in a chokehold by putting a location out west in LaPlace at I-10 and Highway 51. It’s still there in the swamps, where neither Georges, Katrina, Gustav, nor Isaac was able to displace.

Katrina, however, was able to shake New Orleans culture. For the first time, we saw sweet tea served in restaurants, dress codes fall at our best restaurants, and Chick Fil A open up freestanding restaurants. Perhaps the most significant example of Southern impurity entering the holiness of New Orleans was the opening of Waffle House at Old Gentilly and Louisa in 2011. WH’s advance had begun all the way back in the early 1980s, but New Orleans resisted. The advance continued with an Avondale branch opening in 2006, but it was 2011 that I am aware of the first WH in the city itself. Super Saint claims the Elysian Fields one opened earlier. If someone can provide proof, I am happy to edit.

Why then, when I wrote that I had never eaten at Waffle House, did it seem such an incredulous statement? I don’t think I had ever heard of the chain until 2011. I would assume most native New Orleanians without much travel to poor areas in the South will say the same.

Like Domino’s and Golden Corral, I was much the poorer for never having tried Waffle House until recent times. I absolutely am in love with the food, tables, smells, and customers of Waffle House. If I eat dinner there tonight -- here’s hoping for a ride there -- I wouldn’t be surprised and I would be delighted!

I haven’t eaten every menu item yet, and I emphasize yet. But I have eaten large and multiple entree meals thus far. I am not a WF authority yet, but I will be soon. Still, I am ready to put forth a tentative Top 10 Waffle House dishes list.

10. Toast



If I had known about WF’s toast at the time of my writing the 72 greatest breads of the world chapter, I would have included it. This toast is magically simple -- crispy, warm, and loaded with artificial butter. It works perfectly as a delivery device for eggs, a sopping mechanism for spilled yolk juice, or palate cleanser. My waitress was ever kind to include free strawberry jelly, so it served as a dessert conclusion at one of my visits. Normally I like darker breads more than lighter ones, but at WF the white seems better than the wheat.

9. Eggs over easy



As most of you know already, I had Christmas dinner at Waffle House this year. I arrived around 6:30 PM to a restaurant and staff that was in tatters, listing and filthy. I waited 15 minutes for a table to be cleaned. I sat, ordered, and these eggs came out. They obviously were overdone, but being Christmas, I did not want to complain.

The strangest thing happened at that point. Like a line change in hockey or a tag applied in wrestling, a second team marched out. And this team invigorated the entire restaurant. Every table was cleaned within two minutes. The griddle was steaming and the orders were shouted out to the tone of a drill sergeant. A new day had dawned and the entire mood of the restaurant switched to the on position. Perfectly cooked food blazed off the griddle and into the diners’ mouths. Delicious.

8. Grits



Grits are a Native American invention whereby corn is ground and then boiled. I can count the number of times I’ve had grits on both hands. Grits are alright. But when given the option, I recommend the hashbrowns.

7. Sausage, eggs, and cheese grits bowl



The lady seated behind me was quite kind when I tapped on her shoulder and asked her what she recommended. She suggested this bowl, which was a solid entree and made for easy eating. If you don’t mind your food mixed together, the grits bowl options are pretty good. I would get bacon rather than sausage next time.
This post was edited on 12/28/19 at 2:01 pm
Posted by TulaneLSU
Member since Aug 2003
Member since Dec 2007
13298 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 5:15 pm to
6. Scrambled eggs



I was raised to believe certain things about egg preparation. The first was that no respectable man would eat a deviled or boiled egg. The second was that scrambled eggs were reserved for the blind, lazy, and unmannered. I don’t know why I was taught this because these scrambled eggs, the first I’ve ever eaten, were delicious. Perfectly swimming in vegetable oil and fluffy, I could have eaten at least a dozen.

One more noteworthy matter with this dish is the dish itself. One of the classy things about WH is that it uses plates and bowls made of china or glass. Most places like WH might switch to the more durable and cheaper plastic, but WH keeps it civilized by providing dishes that deserve care and caution. Metalware hitting these breakable plates makes the classic klink you hear with your grandmother’s finest china. I wouldn’t mind getting a 12 settings of it for hosting my next large dinner party.

5. Bacon



WH balances flavor and texture with its bacon in ways the high end, gourmet breakfast restaurants that try to get cute and sophisticated with flavored bacons, never will. WH has the best bacon in any restaurant.

4. Chocolate chip waffles



I refuse to eat waffles or pancakes unless they are sauced with pure maple syrup. Corn syrup based syrup is disgusting. When Maria, my waitress, brought the sticky squeeze handled corn syrup, I rebuked her. She said they didn’t have any maple syrup, so I told her to give me the finest chocolate chips available and some butter. Melted together, it makes a great waffle sauce reminiscent of the chocolate crepes from Creperie Little Breizh. Few people think about perambulations along the River Seine when they dine at Waffle House, but the first bite of this chocolate waffle sent me on a 4800 mile journey to a specific spot along the Seine several years ago.

3. Sunny side up eggs



There isn’t a better way to prepare eggs than sunny side up. Garden Districters will argue that eggs Victorien Sardou are superior. Trailered home dwellers might argue for boiled eggs. But both extremist groups are wrong. Sunny side up takes the path of faith, delicately balancing cooked and raw. The result is ambrosial. And Waffle House does it better than anyone since my grandfather.

2. Steak

I had a delicious steak here that I forgot to photograph. It was marbled like A5 Wagyu and sizzling off the grill like a Ruth’s Chris. I was seated at the four top booth directly behind the chef, so I was able to direct personally the steak’s preparation. If you are steak dining, I can’t recommend higher getting this table, as it is truly an experience. It’s isn’t advertised as the Chef’s Table like some finer dining institutions would, but it does everything and more that the $100 places do.

I’ve included instead a picture of my waffle with the chocolate-butter mixture lathered in full glory.



This is making me hungry. Be honest -- you're wanting some Waffle House now aren't you?

1. Hash browns



The best hashbrowns I’ve ever had. I got a triple portion, but to be honest I could have gotten a 10x portion. I was a little disappointed they didn’t put three slices of cheese on it, as I did pay 50 cents extra for cheese, but the potatoes were cooked yet moist and tender. So often when one gets hashbrowns, they get overcooked, overcrisped, crunchy potatoes. These are the potatoes that are a waste. But WH gets them just right. I’m salivating as I type.


And a bonus picture to showcase Waffle House’s peculiar dialect. Sitting at the Chef’s Table allowed me to hear all the strange abbreviations and euphemisms. I tried to decipher them all, but that will take a few more trips. I love the writing on the bill, as they attempt to make that language a concrete thing, but it’s more than the writing shows. It’s art. I plan to collect all my tickets and make an art display out of them at some point. I think it will be a hit.



Thank you for reading, my dear friends. My hope is that you treat others well and eat well.

Love,
TulaneLSU
This post was edited on 12/27/19 at 5:26 pm
Posted by OTIS2
NoLA
Member since Jul 2008
50219 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 5:35 pm to
I will buy your medication for you.
Posted by lratch
Chapel Hill, NC
Member since Nov 2019
109 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 6:38 pm to
Harkening back to your days at Tulane, would you take a Sophie Newcomb girl to Waffle House? And what would Mother think?
Posted by Caplewood
Atlanta
Member since Jun 2010
39156 posts
Posted on 12/27/19 at 6:58 pm to
Texas cheesesteak melt has to be on the list
Posted by HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Member since Jul 2011
29680 posts
Posted on 12/28/19 at 7:38 am to
The All Star special is all anyone needs to know about when visiting Waffle House.

Posted by RidiculousHype
St. George, LA
Member since Sep 2007
10226 posts
Posted on 12/28/19 at 9:05 am to
quote:

I don’t think I had ever heard of the chain until 2011. I would assume most native New Orleanians without much travel to poor areas in the South will say the same.
Lol what? Any New Orleanian driving to LSU or Houston would pass several Waffle Houses along I-10. The ones in BR at the Highland and Siegen exits aren’t exactly in poor areas.
Posted by Arthur Fleck
Member since Oct 2019
331 posts
Posted on 12/28/19 at 5:13 pm to
Pecan waffle w/ pb
Raisin toast
Steak n eggs
Some incarnation of hash browns
Chili is solid
Their grilled chicken sandwich is also surprisingly good
This post was edited on 12/29/19 at 2:05 pm
Posted by HECM62
NOLA
Member since May 2016
529 posts
Posted on 12/28/19 at 7:08 pm to
From your postings I assume you live Uptown. A new WH just opened on Jefferson Hwy a couple blocks past Lowe's right before the S turn. I think they need a couple of months of food on the grill to really get the flavor into the meat.
Posted by cuyahoga tiger
NE Ohio via Tangipahoa
Member since Nov 2011
5850 posts
Posted on 9/6/20 at 6:12 am to
quote:

The idea of microwaved breakfasts at McDonald’s even thirty years later makes my stomach turn.


As usual, your writing style and fabrications are getting old. All the MvMuffin sandwiches use real eggs that are cracked in house, the english muffins are toasted in house, none of the sandwiches are microwaved.
Posted by MeTarzanYouInsane
Lower Bucks
Member since Sep 2013
567 posts
Posted on 9/10/20 at 5:57 pm to
I’m not here to debate your list because to each his own and I applaud your write up. My comments-

1. As others have stated, a double cheeseburger with a side of hash browns may seem like a boring selection but it’s a thing of beauty when you eat your burger over your hash and let the juices drip and double season the browns. A couple of dashes of hot sauce and it’s to die for

2. Country Ham - this is not available in many places so it’s a treat to be able to get it. It can be a little dry but the salt cure mixes in perfection with your over easy eggs and either grits OR browns.
Posted by JimJack
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2018
131 posts
Posted on 9/10/20 at 10:58 pm to
Double cheese burger with double hash browns crispy and a bottle of ketchup.

LINK
This post was edited on 9/10/20 at 11:01 pm
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